Why is my head so ******?
Someone please tell me
Why do  I drink to feel normal
I'm begging for an answer
Because if you dont know
And I dont know
Then where will this conversation even go?
Just repeat the same cycle
Stop that, try harder
Think differently
Well I CANT
So stop asking
Please
I'm begging please
My head is to ******
I dont think I cant be fixed

Gray clouds looming over my head
Darkness filling my thoughts with dread
Once peaceful a dream now a nightmare filled bed
How is this life? Am I already dead?

Last year I wanted to **** myself
This year I want to do better
Even when life's looking wetter
I heard when it rains it pours
Keep pushing through these pains and soars
But I'm just struggling
Keep pushing myself
Even if it can be bad for my health
I know where I need to be
And one day I will see
That I didn't just do it for me
Or you or them but my whole family
So look at me go
Keep running
And even if I get slow
I'll still finish the race first
And make sure all of you know
I still did it at my worst

I feel like we're made for each other
Maybe that's why I'm scared we'll lose one another
You love me even though I'm unstable
I love you like a never ending fable
Can something be this good without a fault?
I guess this loves definition by default
I know we'll be together not matter what life puts us through
Because you'll love me forever just like I love you

The weight of my actions haunt me everyday
My mouth is fed up from the lies I have to say
I keep drinking and I know its wrong
I honestly cant stop
Firstly I'm sorry Mum
But its the only end in sight
Even when I lie you know I'm drinking every night
I'm sorry that I'm not the perfect son
But I'm trying my best
Secondly I'm sorry to my Grandad
I know you spirit watches in shame
I really want to stop but addiction is to blame
The liquor hunts me, just like you do
I'm begging for your voice to help get me through
All the addiction and pain that I'm trapped in
I know you taught me better
I know I live in sin
Lastly I'm sorry to the love of my life
This is the year I want to make you my wife
But I'm worried that how I am will bring you down
And it would **** me inside just to see you frown
So please take this as my addiction resignation
I promise to quit for you and for me
Because I CAN'T do this life without you
When I was on my own I didn't have a clue
So I'm sorry for the lies
You all don't deserve this
I had to get this off my chest before it consumed me

Why can I talk when I'm too scared to do it
I have to say 10 times in my head before I go though with it
Sentence after sentence I keep practicing

Making sure I get it right?
Or just... Never mind
I know it won't come out right

Maybe if repeat it one more time I'll be brave enough to speak
Ok I can do this

"I think-"
Oh **** the moment just passed
Now I look stupid

Laying next to you right now
I feel so at peace
The world falls silent
And now you're asleep
You are my world
You are my sun
You give me life
And I sleep well
Knowing you'll be my light
Thank you for the mornings