I have skin,
Very thin skin now,
I had thick skin back then,
Before the relentless Gods burned off my layers,
Now they poke at my thin layer,
Piercing a small bit so that I mend it,
They do it again and again taunting me with this never ending game,
But it's not a game in their eyes,
They see it as them helping me.

I hope people will like this poem,
I laugh at myself when I think of hope,
Every time I have hope I think nothing in the world could stop me,
I face my inevitable fact and face it with triumph,
I get destroyed by fact,
I just laugh at myself for thinking that I could deny fact and have hope,
I just let go of it,
Next week maybe I'll get it,
Probably won't and then I'll be filled with a little more hope that the inevitable fact is not inevitable.

"I can't hear you." They say to me,
"Why can't you speak up?" They ask me,
Because I feel small and if I speak big  it makes things worse,
"Why, Why, Why!" I ask myself every time I say something.

"**** yourself!"
"**** yourself!" the words say to me taunting me as they float above my head, I try to build a wall but they walk through it,
"Your useless!"
"Your useless!" they say as I am pecked,
"It's fu.....g basic!"
"It's fu.....g basic!"
The words they flap around me blurring my vision,
"It's something that a 9 year old would get!"
"It's something that a 9 year old would get!"
I start to cry, I falter but am not ready to fall yet,
"Your so fu.....g selfish, 'it's all about me!"
"Your so fu.....g selfish 'it's all about me!"
I fall to the ground and try to cover my ears, but they peck at my hands so that I hear them,
"I don't want to see you!"
"I don't want to see you!"
I start screaming, my ears are bleeding now,
"Don't expect to get my approval when your this fu.....g selfish!"
"Don't expect to get my approval when your this fu.....g selfish!"
I try to get up but they dive at me striking my efforts,
"What kind of son does this!"
"What kind of fu.....g son does this to their mother!"
I just lye there hopeless and I whisper a word, just one tiny word,

"me..."
I close my eyes and the words fly away.

"**** yourself!"
"**** yourself!" the words say to me taunting me as they float above my head, I try to build a wall but they fly through it,
"Your useless!"
"Your useless!" they say as I am pecked,
"It's ******* basic!"
"It's ******* basic!"
The words they flap around me blurring my vision,
"It's something that a 9 year old would get!"
"It's something that a 9 year old would get!"
I start to cry, I falter but am not ready to fall yet,
"Your so ******* selfish, 'it's all about me!"
"Your so ******* selfish 'it's all about me!"
I fall to the ground and try to cover my ears, but they peck at my hands so that I hear them,
"I don't want to see you!"
"I don't want to see you!"
I start screaming, my ears are bleeding now,
"Don't expect to get my approval when your this ******* selfish!"
"Don't expect to get my approval when your this ******* selfish!"
I try to get up but they dive at me striking my efforts,
"What kind of son does this!"
"What kind of ******* son does this to their mother!"
I just lye there hopeless and I whisper a word, just one tiny word,

"me..."
I close my eyes and the words fly away.

Dreams,
Dreams,
Dreams,
My escape,
My hero,
My dreams are the dreams that I dream when I sleep, when I want to escape from reality,
I dream of having dreams in my dreams I am just a man who dreams of being someone so powerful,
I wake up from my dreams a lot,
I am awoken by my mothers words

What is love,
I am told everyday by my mom that I shall never understand it,
I believe her,
I "love" her if I knew what it meant,
I would tell her everyday,
If I knew what it meant,
I am selfish is what I am told,
Then that is what I am,
I am told that if I can't learn to be part of a community then I will never get married,
I believe them,
I believe that if I was to date someone,
They would be afraid of the monster that is me,
That is what I think and not what I am told,