I love you.
It isn't physical this thing. It's soul rich. I find the slightest pleasure in the smallest things you do. You caress my soul softly with yours. I am touching your skin but that is, JUST your skin. I see and look at your elements sparingly. I want to challenge all these flaws and conquer them. I don't crave anything else but you. I don't want to stare at anything else all day. Your smile allows My body to function as it should. Except my heart, it does things I don't understand. My ribs become elastic because my essence wants to reach out and grab you. I love you in a way that words aren't designed to explain. It's a feeling? Oh yes. It feels comfortable. I close my eyes often to remember this cause it's a feeling my body isn't used to. Every inch of you dares my lips, darling I have to kiss it. It's not  my thirst but my desired hydration.

Tell God I'm in. He planned this didn't he? My answer is yes. I'm grateful. He has treated me and essentially I cannot thank him enough. Marrying you would be satisfying, I can then devour you, see through and recreate my deepest symphonies that play in head when I watch you sleep. I'm in,  and with gratitude I take your body to kiss gently and calm my horrific sea.

To say you complete me would be a lie. You were already within me. I just found you.

How is it possible that I'm still experiencing a mental and emotional tug of war between us?

I broke everyone's favourite glass today.
Picking up the pieces I realized I was still suicidal.
I started salivating at the thought of my own blood.
I was so sure the old me had died, turns out she's very much alive.
With each piece I pick up I think of what could've been and what still is.
First piece, what if I slit my throat or wrist.
Second piece , I can't inflict so much pain on them.
Third piece, but none of them could ever comprehend my pain even if they tried.
And then all the little pieces that cant be picked up but swept away is my confusion, unanswered questions and ongoing pain about life and death all in one.

Love that man like he is the only reason why you're alive.
Hold him like he has just received heartbreaking news and you're the closest to home for him.
Kiss him like your life depended on it.
Nurture him back to life with one look.
He needs you and you need him.
Without each other life doesn't make sense.