I don't even know you yet,
but I love u more than life itself..
Your existence already has the power to define me.
Through you I am complete, I have found meaning and most importantly you have
made any tangible achievement loose its value.
I'm taken by the mere thought of you,
you are one experience I never want to forget,
from the pleasure to the pain.
There is no way in hell I shall ever make you carry the burden of knowing that you were a mistake,
if by any chance your ears are bruised with such cutting words and you find yourself starting to believe them, let my love for you combined with your fathers love be proof that you were planned. Your existence could have only come about through the little things such as the crazy giggles your father and I exchanged,
the one kiss he reassured me with at all times that I'm his,
the heartfelt sometimes senseless conversations followed by unique oneness of the soul and you were made.
You my love,I've longed to announce your presence within me,to feel your first kick,to see my body change into something I too might not like at the end of the day but if that's the sacrifice I should take for you,I would do it in a blink of an eye.
You are my religious decision, I needed to be your fathers wife in order to get you.
You are our right track to securing our financial stability,your father and I don't want to deny you of anything you need because of financial strain, the thought of you motivates us to be financially secured.
We can not predict the future, so we can never be too sure of the financial burden we might face,
so love of my life know that your father and I are trying really hard to hand you most things in life on a silver platter.
I know that when you are born your father and I will question everything but also be grateful for each thing, this will only be caused by the beauty we see in you created by us and blessed by HIM.
I can't predict how my nine months will be but I'm truly blessed that its your father who will take care of me,
he too will see a side of me he has never seen before but he will love me through the pain,
the tears,
the hormonal outbreak,
the confusing mixture of cravings,
the long hours of labour and the joy I shall share with him because at the end of the day its not my pregnancy but our pregnancy..
My angel mommy and daddy love you..

You're letting go while I'm holding on.
I'm not confused, I know exactly what I want.
I don't show it one bit and that scatters your emotions.
But you're it for me.
I'm sorry I walked away while you poured out your soul with your actions but never uttered a word.
I apologize I left you hanging, when you were so sure you had won my heart.
I was just protecting my heart from what could've been another unforseen disaster.
Sad part is, this time around I created one, trying so hard to run from it.
You own my heart,
Your absence confirmed it.
I didn't slowly learn how to love you
I fell so hard for you from the word go I was slowly trying to love you using your pace.
I didn't want to bombard you with my uncontrollable emotions.
I'm a mess, through and through.
I just didn't know I had met my match.
But you're gone
So let me try and forgive myself and forget you.

I can't wait to have you watch me make myself beautiful for you.

Just to feel your body behind mine when I'm trying to fix my hair, or apply face cream.
To have you clip my bra or zip up my skirt just for you to unzit it again coz you couldn't bare the thought of me getting dressed so quickly without you indulging in what's yours.
See I want the little things that prepare me for the big things.

A part of me understood your silence when caught in the deep admiration of what you saw when you looked at me.
No it's not that I understood my own beauty, I took the time to understand yours whenever you couldn't blink in my presence
See you made staring at someone a sensual thing, it could never be rude when it was your eyes that couldn't look away.
You fixed your eyes on what you would say was "a breathtaking image of God's best creations" my reply at all time would be "aren't you one silly hopeless romantic"
Indeed your soul searched for belonging in the presence of the art you desired  desperately beyond comprehension.

I knew I aspired an artist within you to come alive whenever I undressed.
You were always caught up in the moment, I mean you grabbed my waist like the scars you saw were an invitation for you to come close,
You let your fingers trace each one as though you were slowly trying to make sure I love myself the way you love me.
You grabbed my **** with all its flaws like a scene from a **** movie, you wanted me and with one look I knew this was forever.
It was forever...

Slowly walk me through why you're not mine,
I mean you look at me as though I've owned your heart for years.
Your actions, geez where do I even start?
Maybe the way you talk to me, you stare at me like my eyes are the ****** milky way.
You kiss me like "I was air and you were drowning"
You need me in the most desperate subtle **** breathtaking way it's awe inspiring I tell you.
Your touch! Good God your touch ignites fire , it awakens dormant senses, I mean it's a sincerely playful unconditional ***** lustful genuine sheet gripping lower lip biting kind of touch.
And still after all this I crown the title "friend"
Give me a chance to accept the love you involuntarily offer without your verbal confirmation.
No, I'm not jumping into conclusions  I'm simply opening your eyes to what could be.
You could be mine, and I yours..
Well and then there's that whole issue of how you describe my existence to your surroundings. "She's out of this world, I can't even believe she is content with our friendship"
You **** fool, I'm not out here giving you the perfect version of me only for you to park me in the friendzone.
I'm not the type that constantly aspires to step up the ladder when it comes to such levels, I know my place and will stay there or walk out for good.
Don't hide behind friendship if it's my clothes you want to rip off in order to have a seat saved in my heart.
Argh I know it's not just my flesh that flips the switch with you, you seek depth and you drown with me.
Don't miss out on me coz you were afraid to face what you felt..
Feel and I'll give you free access to eternal contentment.
I was never your friend, you assumed you were mine. You not!
I won't tell you again and believe me I won't bother asking anymore but go to sleep knowing that I was never your friend, I loved you from the beginning and am wholeheartedly willing to become the stranger I was once.

I wanna get to know you.
The real you,
The you that doubts herself every time she looks into the mirror and just sees scars.
Open up that fragile side of you, I'm yearning to understand it's ins and outs.
I wanna know the parts you don't show those idiots and fools.
The ones who don't listen to your spirit move.
They claim to love you but do they know in which direction your soul will inevitably move at the sound of your favourite tune?
I too may be classified as a one of em fools, but truth truthfully speaking I'm in tune with the tune that's sets your soul on fire.
I've spent split seconds of each day trying to work out how much of myself to sacrifice to you in order to see or hear you smile.
See I can hear it when you smile, you try to hide it so well but there's a sound you let out and oh God,my God even though I have not yet found it's definition but I'm quite certain my existence is somehow intensely complete when I hear it.
Can we get our melodies in tune?, forgive me Im guilty for liking your groove.
Dare I say your heart beat takes me to the moon, yours is the only rhythm I hear in any room.  
Every time you smile I hear angels sing, you have no idea the joy your voice brings.
Your silence isn't my peace, give me your melody so our hearts can sync.
Keep me content by interlocking our souls,
I exist for you, whether you know it or not, I'm whole and at peace at the thought of you.
Don't end the rhythm please speak, make a sound or just sigh.
You make my heart feel like it's stuck in the sky
Let me in, make me whole
Let me write a song for your soul.
I want us to embody the perfect verse, I want your body please forgive my thirst.