People everywhere
They look at me
In disgust
what is that thing
They say
All the things they say
gather and attack
Attack my fortress
My defences
The defences I put up years ago to protect myself
From all the horrors
All the monsters
All the people
All the mindless freaks
That attack me
Just as they attack me now
And its hard
really hard
Why me
Why
They fail
Not the attackers
My defences they collapse and cave in
As they do that they collapse on me
Leaving me restrained
So that they have all the power they want
And they use it
Why me
Why

I scold myself repeatedly
Why didn't my heart consult my mind before falling for him?
Why did it bypass my logic?
How did I love so easily?
So quickly?
So strongly?
The strength I knew not until he examined my love
Toyed with it
Pushed the boundaries
Exhumed it
That he ripped open to study
Wondering all the while if I was worthy
He shook his head and passed back my love
No, its not what I thought
He said
No, its not what I want
He said
I blinked with disbelief and stared at what he had returned
He'd destroyed
Picked apart
No, I cried out as he turned to leave
Leaving me holding my heart which he'd massacred
This isn't what I gave you I stuttered
I offered my heart renewed by your essence
Plump, glowing and infinite
Full of love and hope
Of endless possibilities
You've given me back a wreck
A shell of what was
How was it still able to be be radiating such love?
Such intense raw adoration?
I pray for it to begin to lessen
I pray, I pray, I pray
Seemingly to no avail

"Love is blind" so he must love me
Because he fails to see
How miserable I am, sad and alone
He has no idea, laughing on his own.

The happier he gets, the sadder I feel.
Alone in a crowd and down at heel.
"Love is blind" and he can't see
The broken heart inside of me.

At least he's happy, one of us should be
But why isn't some happiness allowed for me.
I guess it's easy to be happy with no needs to fulfill.
If I could stop needing, but it's not chosen by will.

So hurting and alone, needing love and touch
I take what I can get, to my scraps I clutch.
I'll talk **** and know the power in my words
Enjoying their effect and the desire that returns.

They never knew each other
Will never meet in life again
For two hours were brought together
Four men stuck in a rain.

Same shelter they chanced to come to
Strangers all they were
Each with other had nothing to do
No relations of love and care.

They started to talk about weather
How they were halted by the rain
Soon chatted like friends forever
Who had met after a long time again.

The strangers caught in the downpour got so many things to say
Unfamiliar men trapped in common distress
Who would soon disperse on their own way
Never carrying the memory of their face.

But here as the rain fell in ceaseless torrents
The four souls worked up a tenuous bond
Not minding fragility of those absurd moments
A rewarding camaraderie they found.

When the rain stopped for them to depart
They went their way with cheerful smile
There was no sadness nor any aching heart
They were happy to be together awhile.

Be there at the clock tower sharp at 6 in the evening
Pleaded her note adding she needed to tell something
6oclock in the evening how long seemed that hour
With a quarter still to go I was under the clock tower.

In me what she had seen to me what she would say
What would propose the girl that lived a block away
I had seen her a few times she didn’t look that impressive
They had been there a few months and were about to leave.

Was she in love with me the girl with a drab freckled face
Our paths crossed a few times though me she didn’t address
Maybe I didn’t know it she fell for me on the first sight
The thought gave me a shiver in that uncanny evening twilight.

Seconds moved in year’s speed I stood in the yellow streetlight
An emotion started to stir in me inside a light glowed bright
A cloud had gathered above me the air smelled of a shower
10 minutes had passed by then with me under the clock tower.

Why I felt upsurge of something as I reread that girlish scrawl
Beckoning to share a secret with me bearing an urgent call
Was it something to do with me or she had something else in mind
My heart beat rapid in feverish strokes I had only 5 minutes to find.

3 minutes to 6 opened up the clouds came down a heavy downpour
She must come now to tell me what she mustn’t hold it anymore
The clock chimed 6 men ran for shades only me was under clock tower
She didn’t turn up it was her call my heart lay bleeding in the shower.

Next day they moved out to someplace else where I didn’t ever know
I caught a bad cold and but for that note I got nothing more to show
Even now in some evening when it so happens I get stuck in a shower
I wonder what secret she had for me for sharing under the clock tower.