I don’t want the curtains to close
The shows not over
You’re my love-
Say I”m yours
Its so hard to give up
Hold on-
Shelter me from my mind.

You’re my love-
Say I’m yours

I hate this game
To stagnate to move
To care-
So why are my eyes leaking?
Why is my throat raw?

What is this?
You’re a moonbeam-
It’s so blinding
So binding

Seep through the cracks of my skin
Gnaw at my veins
My heartbeat slows.
Can you feel it?

Tell me we’re alright?

Do you wish I was more, baby?
That I could say ‘I love you’
In more than a whisper-
That I could hold your hand
Without shrinking-
Whats wrong with me, baby?
It’s not fair.

Did you know that,
The Earth.
Is a master chef?

the clock ticks louder here.
her pen scratches the paper,
like she’s carving me
into little notes.

she looks at me too long,
her eyes heavy,
like they’re waiting
for me to spill something
I can’t even hold.

I stare at the windows instead,
watch a bird flutter past,
and wish I could go with it.

„How does that make you feel?“
she asks.
I want to say,
„like I’m drowning in a room
with no doors.“
but I just shrug,
pick at my sleeve,
and let the silence win.

she says we’re making progress.
I nod.

but the only thing I leave behind
is the shape of my body
on the chair.

She sipped her drink,
eyes darting around the room,
like she was looking for something
she didn’t want to find.

I sat next to her,
close enough to hear her breathing,
close enough to feel the silence
where her words should’ve been.

When her hand brushed mine,
she didn’t pull away,
not right away,
but then she laughed too loudly,
like it never happened.

I let her have the lie.