I will not cry from what you made me do.
I can live far past the potential you see in me.
I know I look weak and that maybe true,
But I will not cry because of you.
You used to help me up when I fell down
And wiped my tears off  before they hit the ground.
I can’t be perfect, though I try so hard to be
I want to laugh, in spite of what you’ve done to me
You keep reliving untruths that once were said
None of your thoughts leave, they just spin around in your head.
I tried so hard to be good for you.
I wasn’t perfect, but neither were you.
You hurt my hopes and crushed my dreams.
My future is without sight now, I have no means.
My spirit must find some other way
To make amends and take away
I have a dream without you now
My soul will soar upon the clouds
My life isn’t easy and you used to
Make each day easier to live through
But in your absence you must know
I have so much now,  I continue to grow
You held me back and I couldn’t see
How great this life would want me

Dear Talia,

I don't want to be a tortured artist.
I don't want to be depressed and I don't want to be anxious.
Competitive sadness and disorders treated like accessories disgust me.

The world glamorizes mental illness, and I don't understand why. There is nothing romantic about being mentally ill just like how there's nothing glamorous about a broken wrist or a torn medial collateral ligament. There's nothing romantic about constantly being afraid that the world will fold in itself and **** you with it. There's nothing romantic about feeling like you could break down and cry at any moment.

This is the first piece I've written while being medicated.

I want it to be Christmas already.

The world dreams itself a halo, but can only attain horns. The halo is an illusion and the horns are an idea.

I'm due to take another Lorazepam. Would I look cool to the kids who idolize dysfunction and misinterpret pain as style, if I were to take one of these, with water and a distant glance, in front of them? Geez, to have their approval would to have everything and nothing at all.

I'm not sure why I've written as much about this as I have.

You.

It is 2:48 am and all I can think about, in this moment, is you.

I can't wait to spend Christmas with you. I can't wait to wear bad Christmas sweaters, and be the couple everyone hates, as we sing Christmas carols and spread holiday cheer.

I wrote this poem a few minutes ago. Sometime around 2:30 am. I'm not sure. I'm exhausted:

I sat on the edge of my bed, and on the edge of my life,
medicated to the point of pointlessness. Soft.
It was the nineteenth, not the twentieth,
and I wished I saw the fireworks with her fifteen days earlier.

My gasps tore the shingles off of the house.
And they hung suspended above the hole in the roof.
And God stared down into my room, as the shingles swirled skyward.
"I see you," I said, "but I don't believe in you."

I left home and ran until I was a dream that had passed itself.


I hope that was okay.

I love you.


Yours,

Joshua Haines

As I sit her with little to do,
My mind is filled with thoughts of you.
As I work hard throughout the day,
I miss your smile that's miles away.
As I lay down and try to sleep,
It's memories of you I always keep.
You must know my love is true,
I spend all my time missing you.

The time spent with you, was like a dream come true.
You could take a gray day, and paint the sky blue.
Life seemed so easy when you were around.
Being with you, felt like I was flying high above ground.
Loving you allowed my thoughts and dreams to soar.
I loved everything about you, everything right to the core.
Your love was my place to escape.
Your warm arms around me, made me feel so safe.
I always hoped that I could make you see.
Your love, was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I clicked the mouse,
my mouth dropped open.
We talked and talked,
our fate had spoken.
It carved you a path,
straight to my heart.
I had no choice,
I played no part.

Always,
      Tameica Hammick

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much.
I love the sound of your voice,
and the way that we touch.
I love your warm smile,
and your kind thoughtful way.
the joy that you bring,
to my life everyday.
I love you today,
As I have from the start.
And i'll love you forever,
With all of my heart.

When you are sad, I will dry your tears.
When you are confused, I will comfort your fears.
When you need love, my heart I will share.
When you are sick, for you I will care.
You will feel my love when we are apart.
Knowing that nothing will change my heart.
when you are worried, I will give you hope.
When you are confused, I will help you cope.
When you are lost, and can't see the light.
My love will be a beacon shining ever so bright.
This is my vow, one that I pledge to the end.
For you above all, are always my best friend.
These words I have written, speak of my love for you.
From my lips these words spoken, shall always ring true.
God has blessed me, and with your hand in mine.
Both of our hearts, will forever intertwine.