Now, do I have your attention or should I fuel your apprehension?

You should stop looking too much into what you dream.
They're more akin to a waking nightmare.

Their skin. Their waists. Their movements.

Intoxicating, aren't they?

Now that you've come up to breathe.

Now that you're on dry ground again.

You are not Icarus.

And they are not the Sun.

You know what you felt.

A great amount of suppression of lust.

But the fire, oh the fire.

Rouse yourself.

Douse the flames.

A soft silky smooth thread falls into your hands again.

Let it go.

Here's to mourning the things we never lost
Here's to dying over a cause you don't believe in


Here's to beating yourself up for things that were already preordained


Here's to sorrow.


It's the unique taste on your tongue and mind,
It's the feeling you never had,
It's the tune you never heard.

For it doesn't exist.

Our dead states and best conditions become null in the face of each other's prettiest nightmares.
Numbed fingers and downcast eyes are all that echo throughout the noise we make.
But we love. And we synthesize noises to feel something.
Screeching and howling all we hide to get past  a dead state to find better conditions.
Patterns ****** on xylophones but we can't look back.
But I know I'm worse off without you.
Frame me for anything. I'll give it all up for you.
Trapped but as free as I could ever feel or remember.

At first you saw it was nothing.
And then you had to believe it was something.
And at long last, it became every little thing you didn't see coming.

Your lipstick stain remains on my collar.
Abstract chaos and unquenchable desire stampedes through my veins.
Every breath I take, I suppress this raging impulse to make you swoon, to mark you.
If it was yesterday that made me feel this way, and tomorrow is uncertain, submit as I devour your entirety in my hollowed-out soul.
Perhaps in this cruel mood, this sublime harlot will drown all other thoughts.. save the ******.
The listless fervour, new dew sticky, gumdrops amongst the humdrum.
Inexplicable thoughts short out and fizzle out as the waves from the shores all too familiar
smash again and again.
 Hiccups turned into gasps as measuring standards disappear into a place where electricity takes over.
When the cold days erupt into gardens of dead roses long thought lost amidst secret gardens for a blissful moment where ****, famine, scars and hope all implode for a single moment.
Alas, it is but a single moment, subsiding oxytocin as we turn and face away, and I leave the deed on the dresser.
To walk away and repeat another day, just not with this almost lover.
Shrug it off and return back to your 9 to 5.

What we claim we do for love
we do for ourselves

a proof of duty
a molting bone marrow

the silent rites
the subdued preaching

a subtle instinct
of making your mark

the basic instinct
of a flame going out.

Bells continued to chime through cathedrals unseen.

On shattered knees, imagery of our dawn settled on the confessional window.



I'm learning to live on without your honeypot taste.

I wish things could've been easier.
It seems I used up all my shooting star wishes, wishbones and eyelash wishes.


Wishful thinking, wishy washy hopes that somehow without saying a word or muttering a wish everyone would be alright.

I used my prayer for you.
If it wasn't my time to be in your life again, bells would chime and I'd walk away.


But enough talk.

Swish you go.

And with the persistence of silence


I turn to the previous chapters


And relive them once more.

How much farther down the rabbit hole?

How far before the taste becomes bland?

How much more of myself do I have to give?

This is a prompt of peace.

This is a concession of cliches.

I have hungered beyond my ken.



I am killing every piece of me that's ever lived, so I might remain humble.

But this hunger will never be sated.

Even if my life should be snuffed out tomorrow,

For sanity's sake,

I cannot reach out to you anymore.


A stage where the state of best conditions, and good intentions brought ruin.

I'll use this pain, to create the world I always wanted.

Your ash, my embers.

My dark soul, your dying flame.

Your expression is all the taste I need.

With the orange gumdew drops on my tongue

Crackling firecrackers on the sinew

All drugged up with euphoria

Expectation to shove you off after I'm done with you.

Caressing your cheek til the morrow

Til yellow corona peeks over the flat body of water


Watch you turn and leave

Feel the pit of my stomach churn but lips clamped shut with how I feel

like yellow dandelions bursting to soar away forever.

The ache of always looking for someone to complete you.

When you know you're not all that whole yourself

<Twang> ; went your yearning, the strings of your soul.

Til when, does your heart have to wait?

Gaunt, slipping through time, evading notice.

Buried alive, a small comfort, exaltation of terra firma.

Gauntlets equipped, not unlike shackles, once more into the fray.

Unearthed, foul arcana preserving an empty husk, begging for rest in moans.

The gravity of assertion, the innocuous chuckles and giggling, with the eyes of experience and eagerness.

Illusions that I don't even seem to be aware of, the deeper meanings behind my words and low monotonous chuckling.

With every move certain, until it becomes unsure anymore what's behind the door.

Succumb, and pull on my strings as much as I can to you.

Fall under this house of dominance.
Kneel before the end of choices.
Understand your will doesn't exist anymore.