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Feb 2020 · 272
Temptation - Z
Batchelor Feb 2020
A little bit of something I haven't kissed,
A little bit of a line I inch closer to

Help me chain myself
Anchor my soul and body

A gradual slow crawl to a halt
Rolling eyes at the visual premonition
Surely this must be in jest, old feelings emerge and though not mine
Niche tastes flap on my tongue
Inquisitiveness turns to desire
Clamping down on the Beast

Time is a cruel mistress, is she not?
Yesterday bought stability
Now today bought sins to light.
eu sunt dracul *chuckle
With the assistance of the Courtesan, darker heart than night itself, Blood And Tears is off to a roaring start. Temptation slides a bit closer than most.. and the sorrow of the sins are cloaked, a little more longer. January 2017.
Feb 2020 · 128
Cascadia/Cascade/Casket - Z
Batchelor Feb 2020
(Let's go)
Up and down the boulevard of broken dreams

(Shy glance)
Across the boulevard of broken dreams

Saw her again
Shy, like my Dana
Sultry lips
With a scent of distinctness
Infatuated with the thighs, tempting
Inviting, so much like an oasis
In the middle of sandy dunes, twin suns

Two steps from hell
Disturbed
Five fingers I raise
Four I keep, one thumb I raise
Dana walks over to me and smiles.
A dissonant step into a landscape in between the events of The One Draped In Orange and Ashtongue, but coming face to face with the Lady In Red ; now the current Red Queen. January 2017, and many more.
Feb 2020 · 88
Hypocrisy - Z
Batchelor Feb 2020
You saw to that, I'd never stray.
Now everything's tumbling like cards.

Your kisses, were they for naught?
I mean, how could you?

Didn't we promise to grow old together?
Did the sweat of your brow on mine mean nothing?

On this hot asphalt. I'm left alone.
The dissociative identity kicks in and I'm struggling to remind myself why I'm here.

honey it was over before it began
he's so much better.
blame me if you must but know you started the clock.
whatever you feel now you deserve it.

Ah yes. I see it now.
The smokey-eyed stranger.
A scent of days long past.
Soft sounds of lapping water on my feet.
A cloth yet to be stained.
The book that was never read.

and you have no right, love.
shame in grey, shame in color.
you don't deserve love.
the clarions scream and you love in technicolor.
come back again when you can come up here once and for all.
wake up. wake up.

***** it, forgot my pills again.
The first of 2017's series,
Where we bleed into each other,
And my pain starts to leave me, but not without getting deeper.
Feb 2020 · 94
Book Closes
Batchelor Feb 2020
Thus loneliness encumbers my shoulders and heart again.
It feels like a singular kiss, amongst a hail storm of hellstricken bullets.
Snowflakes in a garden of rust.
An amoeba separated from its kin, unable to split.
21 decided to be divided to 4.
Perhaps my worth as a wordsmith wasn't as great as I thought.
Thus the feeling draws on itself, in a constant art and motion, an Ouroboros Serpent.
Like how I used to stammer and stutter badly as a child, ironing myself out but falling and scraping yet never bruising my eagerness.
Nostalgia and adventure are just means for one to hide in security.
Perhaps one day, one day I'll fall in love again.
Baggy pants, oversized shirts and a lioness, wispy and delicate. But alight with fire, with life all the same.
And the rain fell on me, eliciting no tears, but ripped my pores apart, and whiffs of an old perfume, of ghosts. Playing to the tune of yesterday, I swept across with her. And I let her go, as the dust settled on my tongue and ash filled it, and was gone.
The lady who ran this place, bowed and closed the mausoleum, and I asked, "How much for your services?" And then she said, "You couldn't afford it."
I walked away into a wasteland blooming again. There's no sweet taste of victory here.
Only death's touch remains, all-cleansing and all-equalising.
I pick her up, and she said, "What took you so long?"
I sigh.
"It's nothing."
The melodious cacophony of both love and hate, crashing smashing and finally tearing themselves apart. Circa 2013.
Feb 2020 · 45
Whore
Batchelor Feb 2020
Your lipstick stain remains on my collar.
Abstract chaos and unquenchable desire stampedes through my veins.
Every breath I take, I suppress this raging impulse to make you swoon, to mark you.
If it was yesterday that made me feel this way, and tomorrow is uncertain, submit as I devour your entirety in my hollowed-out soul.
Perhaps in this cruel mood, this sublime harlot will drown all other thoughts.. save the ******.
The listless fervour, new dew sticky, gumdrops amongst the humdrum.
Inexplicable thoughts short out and fizzle out as the waves from the shores all too familiar
smash again and again.
 Hiccups turned into gasps as measuring standards disappear into a place where electricity takes over.
When the cold days erupt into gardens of dead roses long thought lost amidst secret gardens for a blissful moment where ****, famine, scars and hope all implode for a single moment.
Alas, it is but a single moment, subsiding oxytocin as we turn and face away, and I leave the deed on the dresser.
To walk away and repeat another day, just not with this almost lover.
Shrug it off and return back to your 9 to 5.
The prototypes for Blood And Tears, also known as Basic Instinct, 2017's work.
Feb 2020 · 64
Shadows Of The Moor
Batchelor Feb 2020
You are the space in between my thoughts.
You are the grand design in which I am overseer.
Atrast nal tunsha -- may you always find your way in the dark.
You are the electricity that runs in my brain.
Closer and closer your lips pull to mine. And I desecrate your innocence in mine.
You have become the space between sentences. The pause between ragged breaths. The dusk of a million light switches turned off.
The trenches & blood rivers.
The bloodied walls and leather welts.
This is a feeling rarely experienced, rolling sadness on my tongue as expressions reveal pained smiles.
Time itself slows to a crawl, as the sadness screeches to a halt.
My godless self, my red draped black cat, my ashen kiss, the ghost, the illusion, the missed connection, the graveyard soil.
And a secret involvement in your ******. A lifelong commitment to uncertainty. Undertaking love, reciting the future, guarding the past.
"Who are you, that you don't know your own history?" - Lonesome Road
The only thing to be colorless, odorless, not have any physical form yet cuts, wounds and festers as if it was alive.
You exist. In rotting words, putrid flesh and fading art.
You exist. In quivering lips, shivering hands and eternal *******.
You exist. In the covenant of the womb, the atoms racing together to create you & break apart when you end.
I'm coming back home to my lights and shadows.
The beginning of another end, the ending of another beginning. Here the start begins, before The Black King meets The Lady In Black. The story ends, in 2019. But for now, the rollercoaster ride of hell starts.. ever so slowly. Circa 2015, to The Other Half, before she is anointed as The Red Queen.
Batchelor Feb 2020
"We are defined by the choices we make."
How do we truly understand this sentence, then?
Is it the bottom of the beer bottle in which we find it?
Or the passionate afternoon with that red haired stranger?
Maybe perhaps that beautiful pointless death you bloomed within yourself.
In which case you smiled and said, "It's alright."
Maybe the breaking point was when you realised you spent conforming to avoid being branded otherwise.
Self-immolation isn't that much fun.
It began with a heart-burn.
And continued with a tussle for control within.
Til you realised you could no longer pretend you wanted both sides of the cake.
The hunter and prey.
Then you awoke.
And saw that you were no better, no less than the entirety of the roads you took.
Now this is where you made or broke.
A knife to the arm, a rope to the neck, a pill to wash it all away.
A cacophonous tremor rippling across your psyche.
And you realised.
"Do I deserve this future, death, life I've been craving for? Or are we always, sometimes monsters?"
The fires start to singe and twist their way around the other bridges to the other unnamed Brides, circa 2014.
Feb 2020 · 60
When a shade becomes all
Batchelor Feb 2020
Our dead states and best conditions become null in the face of each other's prettiest nightmares.
Numbed fingers and downcast eyes are all that echo throughout the noise we make.
But we love. And we synthesize noises to feel something.
Screeching and howling all we hide to get past  a dead state to find better conditions.
Patterns ****** on xylophones but we can't look back.
But I know I'm worse off without you.
Frame me for anything. I'll give it all up for you.
Trapped but as free as I could ever feel or remember.
The author's mind is still a wreck, circa 2012.
Feb 2020 · 74
Something painful
Batchelor Feb 2020
And the best things about her were never how she dressed.
Neither when she danced circles around me when she held my hand.
It was as simple and unsettling like an open flame, that I held for warmth and to feel.
The line blurred between us for my surrealism and hard drawn lines for reality.
Maybe it was the knife edge she gave me as I traced runes on my left arm.
Mystical experiences that left blood on my lips. Was that it?
I am the child of the sun, and she was the space in between my heavenly Father and just like her signsake, she keeps me in places where I never have been.. and never will again.
I'm where I should be.
And I'll never be again whole.
Just like how movements are fluid, and how feelings are fleeting.
Firespark. Dreamstate. Singing in silence.
That, is the best thing.
And with her.
Me, to you.
The beginning of the merger between The Red Queen and The King In Black, circa 2013.
Feb 2020 · 57
Sequencing
Batchelor Feb 2020
First, we write about vague things involving ourselves.
Secondly, we solemnly promise to never break each other.
Thirdly, we take a bow and dip each other in baptisms of fire.
After all that, we pretend like we had never met.
In the end, we burn down bridges and walk away amongst molten flowers.
Because sometimes preparing yourself for things to end, is much beautiful than enjoying the time you have left.

Here I am, in 2020, living proof yet regretting only a few things.
Feb 2020 · 85
REWIND
Batchelor Feb 2020
She held my hand and I went to places that only I and her knew and it was during such times I knew I loved her and I became someone else and I remembered her warm breath on my cheek and she didn't shy away

Shied away, from the world. Cold air around my lips. I'm someone else, after all that's happened. Places, either burnt down or burning like bridges. Her lips still felt cold.
Her hands gone, only mine left.

She loved to see my smile and I did all I could to keep her smiling told her that her smile would make others envy her for her smile lit up darkest corners of my Earth I couldn't stop holding her

Hated my features, and so I withdrew, attempting to please her. But I know, I existed. She existed. But what for? Shadows return, anyway. The stronger the light, the harder shadows hit..but I'll rewind-
Rewind, to the time there was nothing but perpetual snow.

2013.
Feb 2020 · 52
No Place Like Hell(ome)
Batchelor Feb 2020
The feelings.. best not show them.
I gotta find my fix.
There I go, total blind march of the pigs.
Hey, I got another ******* high score.
I'm the best aren't I?
That feels good.
I saw her again.
**** **** **** better find my fix WHERE THE **** ARE MY EARPIECES
Oh God that feels so much better.
Mmmmghh. Feels like ***.
Haha, what a funny video!
****, is it about *****?
****** ****, wanna get ****** up?
I'm home, again.
Where is my fix?!
My phone's got to charge?! Useless *******!
*******! Pick up! OH YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME ANYMORE?! *******! *******!
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET SO ******* ANGRY
****
GOD I'M SORRY
DON'T ******* WALK OUT ON ME
DON'T LEAVE ME!
Slide over to the point already.
You know I was never sane.

2013.
Feb 2020 · 64
R.T.B (Rip The Bandage)
Batchelor Feb 2020
Slow piano tunes play out as I walk towards the certainty, this singularity.
My heart heavy, listens to your confession.
"Since when?" I ask, not caring for the answer that I already knew months before.
"Now. Just now."
Grey sepia dandelions flutter, but oh, how beautiful you are still.
"Hi, how does this work?"
Had I known, I would've told you that I didn't know and walked away.
"I don't wanna lie. I can't tell anything but the truth.. it's over."
But, even in this death, you're still so beautiful amongst my molten ashen flowers of love.
Futile, wasn't it? In hoping that you'd stay.
And it made sense.
A purple flower, the red wine, the ashtray, the white flag and me, suddenly so small.
A cruel revelation. And me, still naive.
This bandage.. slowly tearing off my eyes.
The heartbreak I left in the wake of finding sanity,
And naivety giving way to cold purpose.
2013.
Feb 2020 · 50
Time.
Batchelor Feb 2020
She's a cruel mistress.
And I, her constant (slave)
Ashtongue is left on my lips.
And I, her mourner(ing flower)
Shaking my faith with all that she does.
With my hands turning into sand.
These silly notions that she could stay.
I remember her touch. (Pin drop)
Her lips touched mine/d it became melody
With no beginning no end
Sensations
Nerve wracking
Intimate
Killing
Telling
On the shaky road of recovery, or whatever passed for it in 2014.
Amalgamation of all the Brides, and all that will be in the future.
Feb 2020 · 67
The End, The First
Batchelor Feb 2020
"The End"
I hear the herald of a coming end.
He says, the words that we dread to hear.
The End Of Times.
I see it.
I feel it.
I dread it.
Welcome it.
The days are ending. God forgive me, but I feel sorrow and anguish only.
Bloodline rebellions, the slow descent into madness,
The pain we feel, the pindrop silence.
The investments of sin.
The insurance of damnation.
The Fall of Humanity.

And, for what we fear is here.
And I am the narrator, your king, your jester, and what you are.
Thy kingdom come, and crumble down, for you reap what you sow, and the deeds you did are here to haunt you.
Your words fall on Limbo,
threatening to abandon you to
Violence,
Wrath, and
Treachery,
as I wander about your tapestries,
only to witness your perfect insanity,
draped in the cold molten flowers of love,
smouldering your past memoirs,
extinguishing affection,
igniting anguish,
conflagarating the flesh.
The past is a mirror,
fractured into tiny pieces.
The more you try to fix it,
the more you change from the inside.
Eventually the end result is a bigger hole,
and you keep falling in,
only the hole gets bigger every time you fall in.
It's like kissing the lips of your dead love,
knowing you can never turn back from the choices you've made.
Try as you may, the only choice is to keep moving forward..
Never looking back, nor feeling the exact degree of that
old.. familiar feeling.
For the First Bride, atop your crumbling throne.

The first words, born out of shattered dreams.

Created over the span of six months ;  December 2011 - June/July 2012.

— The End —