If living is literally Hell

And agony accompanies my every step

I'm glad even if you aren't.


I'm here once more with you.

What else could I ask for?

Subside, O hunger of mine.

Satisfy thyself of cravings,

So we might co-exist just yet.


Play our tunes so fires might just extinguish,

Instead of being set alight once more.

We're in love with the things we can't see,

Searching for meaning in the silent groves,

Dreading the day we have to face ourselves,

In mirrors glazed with old reflections,

Of how we used to be.

The ache of always looking for someone to complete you.

When you know you're not all that whole yourself

<Twang> ; went your yearning, the strings of your soul.

Til when, does your heart have to wait?

And if takes a lifetime to hold peace,

And if you teach me what it feels like to be home once more,


I'm happy with what we have.

The fluttering of eyelids breathed new life into the moments caught like fresh Polaroid snaps, the afterburn of the camera flash persisting, like a memory that fought its way to remain, resisting time and wear til the end.

The flesh knows the aching, burning want. The mind knows the still, cold pools of fools, the soul rolling with the blows of said fools, who thought time as it was would never be everlasting : A shrieking defiance, with the Chariot being pulled along by hanged men ; an everlasting idiocy.

But dreams & memories do just that. Syphilis-like consistency, marauding us all with persistent innocent tendencies to drown us in nostalgia, regret and fury. Yet we still have them on repeat. To not have known, is far more terrifying than not knowing. After all, we fear what we don't know. What we don't understand.

Extinguish the me

To find the you

Cremate the when

To nourish the now

Cherish the moments

Embrace the life you have.

She is my silent purpose

My unwritten desire

Until one day she realizes

I'm the little pretender

Never getting tired of her.

distancing oneself from the tell-tale signs

of morbid fascination with you

like thy myth

the rousing rumour you sell

hapless I am

entwined, I'm still.

How much farther down the rabbit hole?

How far before the taste becomes bland?

How much more of myself do I have to give?

This is a prompt of peace.

This is a concession of cliches.

I have hungered beyond my ken.



I am killing every piece of me that's ever lived, so I might remain humble.

But this hunger will never be sated.

What we claim we do for love
we do for ourselves

a proof of duty
a molting bone marrow

the silent rites
the subdued preaching

a subtle instinct
of making your mark

the basic instinct
of a flame going out.

The lips of the woman I love, intoxicating.

The way she suckled on my lower lip,
Spellbinding.

Her body convulses with mine, in the sacred bond of the bedroom.


She is mine.

What you told me, rang true.
Did I want to use the power of the hammer to shatter glass?

Or to forge myself anew, like steel?
The fact I kept talking about how things were, showed I cared still.

Now, scream at the hole we left each other.

a drive to find peace
a need to be whole

the heart understanding a feeling
the mind fumbling for meaning

this is vicious
what was private emotion
is now exposed

Indeed, there is no question
Whether their tunes start again.
This time, they all halt.

the wine spills
soft whines to no avail
fake rhinestones scatter into debris
love, wry and wrought,
wracked with distraught.

Despite what you've heard, I'm not quite dead yet.

You might've erased all good in me,
But like how the sea always met the shore,
I'll still be here.

You no longer remind me of anything.

I am of little faith.
You have taxed yourself, time & aggression wearing your soul down.
We have still a long way to go, my darling.

Have faith in me.

Regina meum, peccatum meum, mi domina.**

Terrifying feeling of something new.
As your lips trailed down my neck.


Terrible things I felt in my body,
As my mind fell to black.


It's a maddening twist of fate.

I'm forever yours now, aren't I?

Her body writhing to the rhythm of unconstrained lust

Imbibed of her soft growls and ragged moans

My own mind travelled : Their bodies/ Shuddered in his embrace
Enraptured by bliss
Lapping up his bounty

Fire, fire everywhere again.

It all burns away in his mind.

I have simply, hungered for more than just your touch.

What other way to combine two desires into one?

What could be more natural than to consume each other?

Maybe it'll start with little kisses,

Then caressing necks.

Then giving each other lovebites.

Wearing these ****** gorgeous purple bruises as badges of honour.

Draw a tiny bit of blood, and we take one tiny step into vampirism.

But we don't lap at each other's open wounds, do we?

It's the worst kind of hypocrisy.

And passively we lay down, bleeding out.

Her blur crashes into my windshield
But I don't raise my arms to my face
Neither do I remember how to tuck into a ball

The glazed eyes meet mine
Honey gum spills from her lips

Her revenant consumes me whole
Twitching, catatonic I become.

After the genocide was done,
I decided to remove myself before I was incriminated.

No one could know of the premeditated sin I had prepared, as all the outcomes led me to this tearful separation.

Least I could do, was to ease the transition.

I gazed stoically upon the wasteland I created, one last time.

I'm only human, to leave.
Adorned with a crown with cracked gems and black gold.

There were no more words to say.
The gears rusted over, for their own good.

No words to collect,
Cause they lubricate.

Her spindly fingers bothered me.

There I was, glaring from across the tables, teeth chittering with naked desire.


Her smile, coated with red, as the red line opened, closed with pearly white.


Picking them up like a graceful crane, and consigning them to a shadow realm I hungered abashedly for, from a corner.

Piping hot, the meat slid across her lips, proposing a grimace of both pleasure and annoyance.

Little by little, the whittled crisps went down too, with the yellow of the sun.


I really need some ******* chips now.

All year round struggling with innate sensory overloading.


But I kept pretending that it was all good, til it wasn't.
From the little harlots I met, to the black holes I've created.


There's no more time, for one more line to blow.
Nothing in the end resembles what I imagined it to be.


**Carpe diem quam minimum credula poste

So you want my name then?

Which one do you want?

The one I call myself by,
Or what people call me?


Names have power.

And I'm only going to give you one.

Rise, ghosts of yesterday.

Show me the way so I might conquer tomorrow.

Whisper, dark forests of today.

Tell me the way through the fog so I might pass through unscathed.

Return, legions of tomorrow.

Stand by my side so I might seize the day yet.

Now repeat after me.

This is not the end of me, this is the beginning.

We'll be alright alone.

Everything burns in the end.

Lit sparks

Carried the flame to burn alone

On the wings of a butterfly,

May we find who we are, truly.

Even when we have no face.

Wicked
  Vile
   Temptress

Only she was never at fault.


*you were

The best thing you can do today is tell someone you love them.

We're stuck with words in our throats, never admitting how we feel.


Let it go before it's too late.

Flowers bloom
On graves unattended

Reading from musty tomes

And as I swept the leaves away

Your bones, so yellow and cracked over.

Bending over to kiss the stone

Tracing your eternal sleep

I could have sworn I saw you holding
The most beautiful bouquet growing
From your bones.

the lady in red
brings succulent lips
pursed around porcelain

the lady in red
brought voracious lips
wrapped around her digits

the lady in red
bringing seductive lips
clinging around pulsing veins

We felt the soles of our feet cracking up

As the moon gazed upon our alabaster skin

Silently we went to sleep


And then we woke up to the waves in between us, pushing us away.

Sitting here with heartache

Heart's gone bleeding all over again

Over again and I've never felt so sad

Feels like heart's gonna crack wide open

Wide awake again wondering about you


*Please leave a message after the tone.

We can't fall asleep outside with everyone anymore.

Our own beds are the last line of defense against the black.

The black of the past, holding nothing but rosy sepia.

You are but the soft growl of a domestic pet.


All bark, and no substance.


Please, I know what I am.


You don't know what you are, don't you?


What a poor unfortunate soul.

they only call you
when their want
exceeds their solitude

A different motif
Belying the similar nuances
Catheterization with anguished looks

Delving searching for reprieve
Eversong and evertone
Finding the beat that doesn't exist

Going, going gone
Help me understand what you left me
Internally bleeding your words kept me

Just what did you mean
Kind of you to keep yourself chained up
Lose or win we'll pass out

Maybe you'll break out
No more chrysalis
Omnidirectional truth

Please rise up with the other foot
Quietly without nailing it too
Rest later, figure what and who you are

So again like the year ago
Time has been kind to you
Unclear your intent was

Vouching for perhaps a perfect moment
Waiting for the definition of insanity
Xanthic your bones become

You are so much more than this.
Zymotic you cannot continue to be.

assurance in love is key to skinship
but skinship alone is never enough
for the hole left behind
is always
has always
taken more than what reprieve
it brings.

Bells continued to chime through cathedrals unseen.

On shattered knees, imagery of our dawn settled on the confessional window.



I'm learning to live on without your honeypot taste.

You think you know pain?

You think you know  Hell?

Take a good look around you.

You're just a tourist here, don't you forget that.

  - No Place Like Hell(ome) : НебоScrub

Shrugging off the dust,

Cracking open old scars to see the new skin grafts on the heart.

I was the one who took it all in stride, letting it all unfold.

I will never let anything go untold,
Cause the feelings go on and on.

But I have a choice, this time.

I swear I'll never be there, I refuse.

Her tension, was palpable.

Tears drenched her face,

Like a waterfall that never knew end.

She picked herself up,

And swallowed herself whole.

Just like her namesake,

She shut herself off.

Fading back to her Wonderland.

We're decaying, defeated by promises and kisses long gone.

I don't know.

How lucky I have it.


Should I?


Thinking positive thoughts,

Thinking of positivity, without thought.


What will this hunger give way to?


Is this lubricant for the gears of future mechanical dice to roll?


I'm an empty box cut out of ash, of killer queens and suns long set.


I'll gather what I can.

Even burnt out, I am more than I was before.

You'd guessed right : we grew cold the longer we weren't in touch.

Our skin's set ablaze, childishly believing we were destined.


Who would've known, the difference between lust and love?


A gnawing ache either way.

Let's sing in tune one last time.

Let us be whoever we want to be.

If only to extend this wick which we keep burning through.

So, it's dark to you, huh.

Then take my hand and watch me slip under.

Let's drown everything in a shade of gray.


Whispering in monochrome, noir, dystopia, sepia.

I have been sleepless, admittedly.

The crawling chaos of unrest, unrestrained.

The mind, slithering out of view.

The heart, brittle and whole.

The bodies, sleeping in the loch.

Replace your breath with mine.

It's the last thing I want on my lips.

As rune carvings ran red,

And blood-red eyes began to clear.

Adrenaline entered half-life.

Ash fell from the skies once more.

Greeting the world in crow down.


"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."