When did you last lay in breezy orchards,

naked, sunshine glazing your curves in amber,

heaped between fallen apples, tickled by alfalfa,

peeking through a tangle of someone else's hair.

When did you last lay beneath starry sky,

afloat in empty fields, grain waving like oceans do

peering above, your vision consumed by an expanse of stars,

two bodies shivering under one blanket.

When did you last hold your breath,

struggling to slow time in that one aging moment

and you would gladly let the world grow old without you.

Freeze.

Still.

Forever.

Just five more minutes.

I washed the window when i left you
I forget you
whats your name?

****** sheets still on my bed
the window is ***** again
please forgive me
did you forget me
Where is home?

I washed my hands when I left you

He was careful he was kind
Don't look back now
the sheets are *****

There has never been a place that I have felt safe from memories

I locked the room and now I never enter
I forgot you
where did I go?
He has held me closer than a mother
holds her baby
And the window is fogging
it's filthy

If you come to find me
please shut the door behind you

rushing wind will come and blow your hair
thats my last
caress
I have left

I have left
the window open for you

I used to be made of leather
wrinkled and worn,
my seams were torn,
but you,

you sewed me together.


Satin fingers linger on me
oh why can't I be
smooth?

I learned to be rough,
to be enough
oh why can't you be too?

Skinned and *****
and left alone,
I am leather

like you.

'pale blue book beside my bed.
stop staring
a sinner is as a sinner was and forever will be'
shhh.
'I'll only do it one more time.'
he said
'be careful, mine, small, kind'
'I am no one's but His'
was that a lie?
'it rained last night and i took a walk'
there's another
'and i prayed
"before i wake,
i pray the lord my soul to take"'
it was a fantasy, really.
am i?
'Lord! Hear me!'
but i saw only ran drops and i heard
only thunder
or was it?
~laughter
'pale blue book of mine
he never heard me'
you fell behind the dresser
and I never bother to put you back in your dusty corner.
I put myself in mine

I wear you like pearls,
Dripping down my neck,
Into the curves of my chest,
Rising. Falling.
Beneath the weight of your breath.
I clench and release the air.
Suffocating.
Your fingers in between my lips,
It was a sweltering summer in the sheets.
And we swam in our own ocean,
Tossing about and-
Rolling.
Tides of arms and balled fists,
Crashing together, a furious,
Lustfull storm.
You wore me like perfume,
The aroma of volcanic ash,
And I erupted in your arms.
And no sunlight remained-
Except in your eyes.

If I were to sail past days and years

to ask of you what we once found here-

If I were to char the hearts I hold

to chance this bliss and gamble the gold-

I wonder if your hand would reach

past time and space and sea,

or if those eyes would soon be blind

than fix their sight on me.


I've given thought to what I've lost

and gained through growth and reason.

the waters yearn and churn with frost-

we've long out-grown our season.

A soul must reminisce on if's

and leave the shores of sorrow.

It was only fantasy, you see,

I wont love you tomorrow.

You'll see me when the tides roll out,
in a heavy downpour
at the heart of the spout.
Catch me in the grave of pine,
trees like tombstones
roots in my spine.
Follow me past the end of the page,
till the ink bleeds out
and you fray with age.
I'll wait beneath an august sky,
my heart will be wet,
yet unthirstably dry.