I will have to gather
All my shadows together,
Not like an army
Defending my body and mind,
Not like a wall, stone cold-
No; more like: to find
What is left of the real things
In me.

Because look; it’s like this-
See: shadows are not shadows to me
Any longer-
Black is not black in the way
It is to others.
And white, in a sense, is not white
And I am not even fighting
Not even-
Writing about it.

For here is why:
Daylight makes edges too sharp
For their contours to melt.
So, as for my heart, I speak
Only to you-
Do you see them-
Do you see the shadows, too?

And even now-
Even this was not a question.
For it is only why I want to be
With you.

Some one has destroyed
the robin’s nest
and stolen the eggs
Jane said

she leaned
into the hedgerow
beneath the streamlet
and parted the branches

her voice choked
as her fingers poked
about the damaged nest
you stood watching

behind her
over her shoulder
watching her fingers move
who’d do such a thing?

you asked
all gone
not an egg left
she said

in saddened tone
you leaned near her
smelt lavender water
she wore

her dark hair
pinned back
with metal grips
why destroy?

she said
why steal?
you sensed her sadness
felt her ache

and how
it would feel
she withdrew her hands
and wiped them

on her dull grey dress
and looked along the lane
and back at you again
who would do such things?

you asked
she looked at the hedgerow
that now concealed
the damaged nest

and said
father says
such are humankind
that seek and take

and leave all fouled
and lost and leave
to nature or to God
to mend and count

the cost
I saw the nest and eggs
last time we came
you said

the beauty of the eggs
and nest made neat
Jane walked on
along the lane

and you walked
beside her
her dull grey dress
swaying as he walked

her hand reached out
for yours
her fingers slim
unpainted nails

her thumb rubbed
against your hand’s skin
the sky
watercolour blue

with puffs of white
just the countryside
sans eggs and nest
and Jane and you.

I think
The reason I felt
All tingly, when you asked,
"Ma'am, have you fastened your seat belt?"
was this Uniform of yours.
Why else would I blatantly stare
At you walking towards the cockpit,
Wondering if you'll look as good
Without it?

Someone I once loved
Ran his finger across my chest and traced
The outline of my moles and said
"They look like an anchor! When you connect the dots, they are the shape
Of an anchor! You are an anchor. It all makes sense now.
You are going to be okay."

At the time it was like some big epiphany for him,
Like he was telling me something about myself
That I never knew when really, I always knew
It was just
Something I didn't want
To admit. It is something
I have been running away from for a long time now, thinking
I could be an anchor for someone else
Because then THEY could be my problem, my project,
My ocean
So then that way I could leave myself, fallen by the wayside
To wither away, slowly, subtly,
Secretly disappearing.

I am attracted to people who are made of glass,
People who shatter easily, who shatter willingly,
Who are reckless and brilliant, beautiful and dangerous
People who I unconsciously think
I can save.

I can only save myself.
I can only be my own anchor.

I am nowhere near strong enough
To be with someone again
I am so terribly fragile, I break my own heart
So easily. Too willingly.
All I want is to keep realizing things like this,
To admit my mistakes and learn from them, not
Repeat them.
To hold on to the people who keep me on the ground,
The people who actually love me, who don't put me on
Some pedestal where I am liable
To float away.

Because if I'm not careful and let myself
Float away again,
I
may
never
come
back.

It's always the road
          blowing songs in her ears,painting glory in her eyes.
Why? they ask,who only live beside the road,who don't know a different sunrise.
Those who stay home .

She brings the scent of distant flowers
the flight of eagles in faraway skies
Carrying ancient rocks to lives bound by hours
Watching life with loving eyes.

Its always the Road
  and the peace of knowing
it's not getting there,it's the going

With cushions to embolden practice
his teeth chattered like a monkey
a juddery fall did him remarkably well,
he was like a comet awry
a soft landing edified his standing,
merriment down the chimney
depuis Decembre .