Your a complete dead ****,
and your favorite beer tastes like ****.
All of your thoughts are vapid at best.

You have about as much personality as a brick wall,
but you have an okay body with a really nice ***.
Frankly I don’t require much more criteria than that.

I’m a real feminist so I’ll give you an equal chance…
to make my ******* turkey sandwich.

Maybe I’m simply just drunk,
but you are still ugly as hell.
I said to the mirror.

Bust a nut or stick a ***** up your ****.
Bang an aging clown crossdresser.
Nibble on my ear just like mike tyson.

**** a mean **** for only three bucks.
Eat ***** and sweet *****  out like ice-cream,
and make all the girlies scream.

Drive your car while naked in a sheep ******.
Do coke up an aging *****’s brown crack.
Give strangers hand-jobs to just say hello.
     Or at least give me some ****.

Fall in love with a ****** and sail the world.
Eat your own *** like a vegan smoothie.
Gamble about sporting events fifty years ago.
    Wrap your **** up in a blender.
    
         But always,
enjoy the downfall while it lasts…..
Now where’s my pay check you *****?

A lost angel stumbled into the hallway.
I gazed at her lovely all encompassing ***,
that fit perfectly into those pristine blue jeans.

She had no clue until I had firmly squeezed.
I whispered softly “shhh deary don’t you scream.”
Then she tried to hit me but well she still couldn’t see.
So I made a quick escape and I hid myself away.

For nearly two days I quietly studied my sweet prey.
I learned everything including the place that she lived,
and I paid her a visit but long story short…….
A restraining order is the purest form of love.

Past relationships are first degree burns that never go away.

Without even trying and I made a good person miserable.
My best try from the start was never good enough and I knew that.
I crashed on the highway like a drunk before I could read the signs.

All of that time spent alone drives nails straight through my temple.
I forgot the art of expression from years of pain inflicted by others.
Whenever I try to open myself up my guts spill out all over the floor.

              Can a mutilated tongue ever truly learn how to speak?

Self-doubt is the only thing that feels constant in my mental corridor.
The face that breaks the glass mirror is just a pitiful shameful thing.
       My memories are only a stain that can never be erased.

If you want to be a great writer only write about writing.
Inhale your own ******* so deeply you can’t breathe.
Then ingest several mountains of a publisher’s *****.

Pretend to read a lot and go ******* all over Europe.
Drink bad wine and socialize with Harvard's yuppies,
and watch mostly 1920’s avant-garde *******.

Always act like your the only center of the cosmos.
Say the same thing fifty times and word it differently.
Make your stuff dull and as hard as my **** to read.

Be subtle like a cat burglar wearing assless chaps.
Sell your off dignity cheap and be free from all shame,
but…..

If your hot (preferably asian) and show me your ****,
You’ll always have a life long reader from me.

Prescribed by:  Doctor ”Micro-****" Barry (MD)

Vitamin (T)rauma in large doses may cause side effects such as:
****** bleeding,watery eyes, sucidal thoughts, Liver failure.
vagrancy, depression,poverty, and decreased ****** performance,
cancer,Possession, itchy eyes, tight muscles, and virginity.


SEVERE side effects include becoming a poet.
If you are writing poems PLEASE STOP IMMEDIATELY,
and seek out medical attention.

Warning
NEVER try to be literate.