I forgot to say I Love You.
I meant to show you just how much you mean to me.
I wanted to tell you just how Deep you've touched my Soul.

I forgot too.
I deliberately forgot too.
I was afraid to let you in.
I was too afraid you'd walk away once you realised it.
I judged you before I knew you,the real you.

Now seeing you with her Hurts.
She makes you feel like a Man.
She shows you the contants of her Heart.
Although she really loves you,I love you More!

I know you question daily how I feel about you.
I know I appear heartless and cold..
You've told me this a million times before..
Truth is I'm beyond Inlove with you.
But I could'nt show you.
I deliberatly forgot to show you.
I forgot to say I Love You.

All it takes is 1 song to bring it all back.
All the memories I have.
Your touch at the back of my Neck.
Your heavy breathing against my Ear.
The smell of your cologne when our bodies intwined.
As I roll my eyes back and you scent lingers in my nose.

Closing my eyes at night with that 1 song on repeat....
As my mind paints a picture of you, of your tatoos.
My mind reminisce your cologne.
Your hands painting a picture on my back.
That firm grip on my thighs.
All the evidence you leave behind....
Traces of bruises I discover.

Lord help erase all these memories.
I swear water falls everytime I think about you.
Your skin all over mine.
Your heavy breathing.
You always got the reaction you wanted out of me.
Even from a distance you still do.

As the Break of Dawn aproaches.
I still think of you.
As I fall into a Deep sleep.
I dream of you.

Here I am...
11months down the line.
Going through my music when I find the voice note you sent me.

We'd just discovered that the Butterflies you use to give me turned into little feet and you were assuring me you'd support me in everyway though you were'nt looking into having another kid.

All the memories flashed back.
I thought I'd dealt with this pain but here I was,
Vulnerable as Hell.
Feeling like it was yesterday when you walked out of my life even though you still here..
It's not the same.
I want my man back.
I want my Best friend back.
And what hurts the most is knowing you never felt the same way about me.
I was Inlove Alone.
The Voice note brought all the hurt back!

As I pour out my heart secredly hoping you'll never find out.
As I pour out my heart to everyone who don't really care and avoid you willing to Listen.
I know I appear cold,
I'm just hiding all the scares you gave me.
A part of me has not lost Hope though I know it's Hopeless to keep on Hoping.
You getting Married and thats the deepest scare of all.
As I pour out my Heart and hope you never see this..
I Hope I find healing with each word I write!

I tried so hard to forget you but I can't.
All the memories linger when my playlist comes on.
I wish I could walk away from you like all the others but I can't..
You're her Father and I still see more of you in her
She's got your Face!

The saddest Loss I face is grieving you while you on Earth.
The saddest Loss I face is the hollow feeling I have burried deep in me and theirs no evidents,just the excruciating pain I have and the traces of my shuttered Heart.

Still,I face you everyday.
She's your Daughter,I can't keep you away.
So as my tears stream down at night in memory of you.
I look at her asleep,she's a splitting image of you.
I moan the loss of my BestFriend
I miss the man you were when she was concieved
All I can do is smile and be greatful you in her life!