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Tenaj Lee Taylor Oct 2015
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I just keep
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Thats what my dreams have been for the past couple days
Me falling
Falling from so high in a hole i dug so deep long ago
A hole ive been digging for years
And i just started to climb out
Then as i get close to the exit
The rock i was holding myself up with pulls out of the socket
I slip
And then thats when i start
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Tenaj Lee Taylor Oct 2015
I wish i didnt make mistakes
Maybe i wouldnt feel this way
Maybe i wouldnt be the **** up i am now
Maybe i wouldnt be dying on then inside from the pain i feel when i make mistakes
Im told by many people that people makes mistakes
But do people make mistakes every ******* day
Do people mess up every **** thing up every single day
Im told that people arent perfect
Well what if i want to be perfect
What if i dont want to make mistakes that hurt others
And when it hurts others i feel the pain
The pain hurts so much
And this pain i feel is always the same
It always happen the same way
I make a mistake
I sometimes think to myself am i a mistake
Am i the reason for your pain
If i leave would that fix things
I wonder to myself what people say behind my back
And when i think about it
It's probably true
I wonder to myself am i a problem
If i would leave forever or just never existed would everyone be alright
I dont even know anymore
I dont even know how i feel
I just dont want to cause pain for others no more
So if im a problem I'll leave
If im a problem I'll be gone forever never to bother you ever again
But i would still love you when i left
I would be glad to leave or even maybe leave this world if would stop your pain
The pain you inflict to yourself because you think you cause me pain when really you dont cause me pain
Its more like you fix everything but
I feel as if i cause you pain
And i cant talk to you like i should be able to
I just cant do it i get flustered
But when i think about leaving i get scared
I start to feel lonely and depressed
I cant think straight
Wierd thoughts come to my head
Ones that are harsh
Ones that are not able to solve my problems
And I realize i cant live without you
That when i wonder if thats how you think
Thats when i keep thinking and thinking and thinking
The thoughts just keep pouring in
They dont ever stop
Tenaj Lee Taylor Oct 2015
The hole is deep
Its the hole i live in
Its the hole i keep digging with every mistake
I started doing things right
Thought i could see the light again
One little slip
Im falling
I climbed to high
I dont think i can survive the fall
Im falling
The hole is to deep
Im still falling
Splat!
I think im dying
My heart its beating fast
Scared to die
Scared to lose someone else
I dont want to lose her
I dont want to die
I dont want to stay....
In.... this.... hol........
Tenaj Lee Taylor Oct 2015
Life* has its *ups and downs.
People will put you down,
Friends will pick you up.
Life is mysterious.
One day,
You'll have a fight.
Another day,
You'll be laughing.
Life is confusing.
You can't understand why things happen.
Life is fun.
And I enjoy spending my life with my one and only.
Life has its ups and downs.
I hope it goes only up from here.
Tenaj Lee Taylor Oct 2015
I've been found out.
I have been discovered,
I can't hide anymore.
I can't stick to the shadows like I've always done.
They know the real side of me.
The side which can't stand people.
The side that wants to hurt.
I can't go back into hiding.
Now like it has always been,
I will be thrown away.
Thrown away like a rag doll.
Thrown away like the piece of trash I am.
I can't keep the happy go lucky act going.
Everyone will hate me.
They'll dispise me.
I hate this,
I don't want to live in this world.
I want to go to sleep and just keep dreaming.
I've never been accepted.
And I will continue to never be accepted.
The devil on my shoulder says to cut.
The angel says nothing.
The devil says to punch.
The angel says nothing.
The devil says to go to sleep and hope to never wake up.
The angel says nothing.
The tears continue to flow down my cheeks as I continue to hate the world I live in.
Yes I've been spoiled.
Yes I love my family.
But thats not enough.
The love they give isn't worth it.
The thought of reverting back to drugs to forget the feelings sway back into my head.
The thought darkens the last light.
I'm gone.
I...
Can't Hide Anymore.
Tenaj Lee Taylor Oct 2015
I look at her everyday,
And all that is going through my head is the future I want to have with her.
How I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
I see her gorgeous brown eyes,
And it has me thinking about how much she means to me.
How if anything would happen I would end up broken.
I look at her everyday,
And all I think about is how much I love her.
How I wish I could wake up and see her cute sleeping face.
I see her gorgeous face,
And it has me thinking about how lucky I am.
How if she wasn't there I would never get outta bed.
All I ever think about anymore these days is....
**Our Future
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