This person made a promise
He said knock and the door will be opened
I knocked
Screamed
Pounded
Despaired
Cried
Hoped
Banged
Knocked
And you never came
You abandoned me
I hate you
You are a liar
Liar
Liar

Lies
Lies upon lies
Lies under lies
Lies behind lies
Lies lies lies lies everywhere

Truth
Truth hidden beyond it all
It is beyond me
Beyond you
Beyond all of us

Reality
?
Lies

Striding in metamorphosis
Changing in violation
Of the past entity
That dictates the minds beliefs
Believing in his existence
Denying his love
Believing in his grace
Denying his forgiveness
Living lives of stagnated development
Learning...
Growing in theory only
Practically a lie as each step lands upon the previous one
A journey of inner growth
Yet sprouting only protrusions

Sitting close next to each other in the car listening to the same music with the same set of earphones, ******* my parents off by ignoring them and giggling

Sitting on the hood of a car with my head on your shoulder as we talk about the beautiful things in this world

Us.

Us in an art studio we rented for two hours. Unlimited paints and colours. Everything from the walls to the chairs to each other are the canvases

Sitting at a family dinner talking to my family as I sip wine from my right hand and curl my left hand around yours. We don't need to talk to each other just be with each other.  

Walking in to the room to find you passed out from exhaustion. Smiling because I'm happy that you feel safe enough to sleep around me.

Falling asleep with you in my arms. I fall asleep with the smell of your hair on my mind.

Covering your sleeping figure with a blanket.

Falling asleep without a blanket. Waking up with one.

Falling asleep alone. Waking up with you.

You

You kissing me awake

Drawing you.

Seeing you. Running to you catching you and lifting you as I hug you and twirl you.

Laughing until we cry

Driving along. Seeing a puppy in the street. Take it home wash it feed it and play with it. Together with you.

Buying a glass Rose and giving it to you.

Smudging your lipstick.

Helping you to put your makeup on and giggle as I make small mistakes just to annoy you.

Painting your nails. Taking the brush and dabbing your nose to see your smile.

Going on a run with you through the forests. Letting you win because I enjoy running behind you.

Getting lost with you by my side. Telling you that 'lost is relative'.

Sitting on a Park bench with you. Talking about the people walking past. Speculating on how God did his job well.

Explaining my art to you

Listening to you for as long as you can talk.

Seeing you concentrate on some small task. You do not notice me there. Seeing who you are when you're alone.

Reading a book in front of the fire as you sit beside me and read a different one. We compete for the blanket.

Reading my poetry that I wrote for you about you.

You forgiving me.

Waking you up in the middle of the night when it's pouring outside. Sitting at a Window and telling you about how I used to do this as a child. Having you rest your head on my shoulder as we silently share the moment, chilly from the wet cold air.

Waking you up in the middle of the night when it's raining heavily. Going outside with you waiting until we're both soaked then tell you how beautiful you look. Hugging you.

Hugging you in the rain.

Kissing you in the rain.

Walking under an umbrella as a thunderstorm rages around us. Being close together as a little silo of dry air is created around us under the umbrella. A tiny world all to ourself.

Falling asleep to the sound of rain. You are next to me.

Spontaneously buying an artwork for you that you saw and liked at a flea market.

Buying you a puppy.

My love
My sweet bitter love
Caress my heart in your hands
Touch my soul with your ice fingers
Make me feel alive and not alone
Please my love
Press your head against my chest
Touch my arms
Make me feel like a bird
Soaring across the vastness of your beauty

My love
My sweet bitter love
Look into my painful eyes
Let me look into your abyssally deep eyes
Let my lips drift slowly towards yours
Let me kiss you my love
Let me fell your passion
Your pain
You
Please my love

My love
My bitter sweet love
Put your arms around me
Pull me tight
Chest against chest
Let me feel your heart
Let me feel your love
Let me feel your smooth skin
Let me feel your pasionate gaze
Let me feel your lips against mine

My love
My bitter sweet love
Let me kiss your smooth silken neck
Let me caress your suple *******
Let me feel your skin against mine
Let me feel the sweat
Streaming off our bodies
Let me feel your heart and soul
Mingling with my own
Let us intertwine

My love

My
Bitter
Sweet
Love

         I love you

once upon a time
I loved a girl
I loved her more than the stars in the sky
More than the sand in the beaches
So I gave her my heart
She took it
Kissed it
And cut it in half
"To keep it near her all the days of her life"
But then she left
She took the half and gave it to a man
(His heart was also cut in half before
But now my half makes him full)
Anger swelled up for she gave another man my heart
But it is part of me
And because of that I felt his heart
Begging from me to let go
To Let go and let the woman I loved be loved by the man she loves. ......
I let go and wept
Wept from despair
Wept from joy
For though she is gone
She is happy
And that warms my half heart

I guess its pain I want
I doubt it will make me feel better
But I want you to know that I would drink my own blood for you
I would burn my skin for you
I would cut my wrists for you
I would not eat for you

The couple of conversations we had
Just proved to me that I failed
So far
You still think your ugly
You still think your fat
You still think your not worth it

But you see the thing is
To me
Your weight is perfect
Your face is elegant
You are worth everything I can give you

Yes I'm drunk on tired
But what causes things to come out
Doesn't make it any less special
So here it is
I'm here for you
Easier to say than do
But let me prove it
Let me show you what I think of you

And in the end even if you were fat
Even if you were ugly and worthless
It doesn't matter
Because I would still want to kiss you

To my dear orange princess

The slow sombre air is stifling
I wish sometimes it would be more exciting
There are no women in the room
Only females
I do not gaze upon any of these females with lust or attraction
I return to my much more exciting book
Suddenly a presence enters the room
I look up confused and my mouth drops wide open
There she stands the most beautiful thing that there can be
She stands there in an orange dress
Not suited for occasions such as this
But she makes it fit
Its perfect for her body
Her smile
Her glasses
Her hair
She is perfection
And I stare
She is so vivacious my heart starts beating so loud I expect people to look towards the sound
I continue staring at this beautiful creature
She looks at me then with a smile of bemused etiqutte she wonders what im doing
With a shock I realize she does not realize the beauty that she is blessed with
this is a travesty beyond comprehension
I will show her how her smile brightens the day
How her curve entices men
How her lips enchant every living creature on earth
I will show her or die trying
I will show her the orange princess

But know this dear one I will never leave you nor forsake you for I am strong. I will never hurt you or let any harm come to you for I am strong.  I will always Protect you dear one for I an strong but against you I am weak and I love it

Know this dear one.  For you my heart is always open.  For you my soul is laid bear. For you my mind is an open book.
I love you?

Know this dear one. I am not everyone. I am Different have you not realized this? I will not waver, give up or stop trying I am me and me is strong.  Even if you change for better or for worst you will still be levels above everybody else
I love you?

Know this dear one.  I do not lie.  When I say you are perfection I do not say you are perfection to me I say you are perfection.  When I say you are beautiful I do not say you are Beautiful to me I say you are beautiful.  This is the truth
I love you?

Know this dear one.  You are nothing but a liar to yourself.  I do not condemn you no. I merely want you to know that when you say"i am ugly" you are lying! When you say "I am stupid" you are lying.  Whenever you lie to yourself I will protect you and show you the truth this I promise!
I love you?

Know this dear one. You are a butterfly. Just like you a butterfly does not know it's own beauty, yet it still graces the world with its sheer beauty.
I love you?

Know this dear one.  I am busy but I still try. I do not give up. I will not leave willingly. And I am here.
I love you?

I sit here
And I think
Of a memory long distant
Yet so sweet
Succulent potatoes
And tender meat
Cooked to perfection
And presented so neat

*dankie oupa:-)

All that this
Is
Is
A painful attempt at a poem