Im not even sad,
Its just the thoughts get so bad.
I cant even cry,
But believe me I try.
Just to feel like the emotions get out,
But I have nothing to be sad about.
Just the thoughts in my head,
Restraining me from going to bed.

I think the thoughts are like a ferris wheel.
I know this shouldn’t even be how I really feel,
But I do.
And no its not because of you,
Its just all in my mind.
Because even though you’re so kind,
I cant help but think,
What if he thinks I’m ugly or what if I stink?

I get quite ashamed when it gets the best of me,
It sort of makes me wonder if anyone can see.
See me when I’m cracking my knuckles or breathing heavily,
Or playing air piano while walking or talking unsteadily.
To you its probably invisible,
But to me its quite unmissable.

Back to the thoughts there getting worse now,
If you knew what I was thinking you’d probably think how?
How is someone as confident as you so insecure deep down,
But the thing is I was treated so badly growing up in my hometown.
And a college so far from home is the only place I feel at peace,
But even still, some days I feel great unease.

So if you see I’m feeling a tad on edge,
Don’t take it personal, its nothing you’ve said.
Its just the anxiety, so I hope you can understand,
I just need reassurance, yes please, that would be grand.