I always thought I knew what it was like to be in love. I thought being in love meant taking the blame when we got in an argument. I thought being in love meant making him happy even when I felt completely shattered on the inside. I thought being in love meant listening to his every command just to make sure I didn't disappoint him. I thought being in love meant staying behind because I knew he didn't want to worry about me. I thought being in love meant hurting myself to make sure he was okay. I thought being in love was getting so frustrated with him that I couldn't hold in my tears. I thought being in love meant watching him walk out the door and sitting cross legged on the floor waiting for him to come back. I thought being in love meant changing myself in order to be perfect for him. I thought being in love meant carrying the weight of both my world and his on my shoulders to make sure he could stand up straight. I thought being in love meant loving him with every ounce of my being, even though he didn't really love me at all.
I wish I knew what it was like to be in love.


B.S.

The stars started
dancing
in the sky
above
us the moment
your
lips collided into
mine*


B.S.

Hey, I miss you. I don't know why I feel the need to apologize to you, but I do. Im sorry, I'm so ******* sorry for everything. I feel terrible, although I'm not quite sure what I am apologizing for. Maybe I feel this way because I know that you feel awful for what you did to me. I shouldn't feel bad for you at all considering you're the reason why we ended in a bad place. God, even when you're not trying to be manipulative you are. You dug into the deepest parts of my brain and buried yourself in the back of my mind whispering, "It's all your fault." That's all that runs through my head anymore. I guess it was my fault that this happened. I loved you and I apparently that was enough for me to take the blame for everything. I knew what I was getting myself into when I fell for you, but I didn't stop myself. So, I guess you're right. Everything was my fault.
I'm sorry.


B.S.

I was in love with a boy who could calm my most fierce storms that were brewed inside my head, but he created a hurricane inside me when he left, flooding every crevice of my body with the memories of him.*


B.S.

Fall in love with the way his voice shakes when he tells you he's scared to lose you
Fall in love with the way he smiles when you kiss his cheek while he's trying to sleep
Fall in love with the way he gives you goosebumps when he whispers sweet nothings in your ear
Fall in love with the way his fists clench when he gets frustrated because he can't explain how much you mean to him
Fall in love with how his breath fills your mouth when he kisses you so deep it feels like your lungs have melted away
Fall in love with how his eyes fill with tears when he knows that he hurt
you
Fall in love with every part of him


B.S.

I feel so safe laying here
with my head on his chest,
listening to the beat of his heart.
I feel comfort with his arm around
me and his hand resting on my hip,
but I know that he can tear my
heart out as easily as the page
of an old, over-used book
and that's what terrifies me.


B.S.