I had the same dream over and over again and I had no idea what it meant. Someone was trying to **** me in my own home, and everytime they went to stab me, they missed. It was terrifying especially since I had no idea who it was.  The last time I had the dream, I saw who was on the other end of the knife. It was me. I was trying to **** myself.

Maybe I was trying to tell myself something. Maybe  that I do have the strength to keep living.




                              B.S.

You meant the world to me. You kept me sane when I thought I might go crazy. You were my escape. I was okay for a little while after you left, but ****. My heart feels as if it has sunk deep into my chest and went into hibernation. I feel so numb and I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. There's not a lot I feel anymore, but God, when I think about how much I miss you, I can't help but tear up and feel like screaming. It's been three months and it still hurts the same. My heart stopped the day I lost you and it hasn't started beating since. Maybe that's a good thing, though.



                               B.S.

I am not going to sugar coat it, I hate you. I hate you for making me fall in love with you when you **** well knew we weren't going to work out. Why wouldn't we work out? Oh, because you're a ******* liar. I have no idea who you are. Your whole being is non-existent to me. You're not real. The sad part is, you didn't even fight to make me stay. There's no way in hell I would stay either way, but it would have been nice to know you actually did love me. Obviously every "I love you" was a lie too. I meant nothing to you. I hate you for making me feel important when we both know I am nothing. I will always be nothing. I'm just everyones toy that gets tossed in the corner whenever they're tired of playing with me. That is all I will ever be. I just wish you saw me differently.


                                B.S.

It was almost midnight  and we were all looking out the window wondering what trouble we could get into before we all went home for winter break. We realized that it is the night of a meteor shower, so we decided to go outside and have a look.

One shooting star.

So we waited a few more minutes until the next one came.

Then there were at least three more shooting across the sky.

It was magical to me considering I've lived in a city my whole life and there's no way to see the stars unless I drive out to the middle of the desert.

I started running in a different direction to get a better view and my friends yelled at me to come back, but I didn't listen. We walked all the way to the football field. Everything was locked, so we crawled under the gates and walked down to the middle of the field.

I could see the sky stretch in every direction for an eternity. There were so many stars that it looked as if someone spilled glitter and spread it across a black canvas.

A few minutes later...
We thought someone was coming, so we laid in the grass hoping to blend in with the darkness. There was no one. We left anyway, though and I had the bright idea of going to the top of the parking garage to get an even better view.

One shooting star

Two, three, four, five...

They just kept coming.

There was one star in particular that caught my attention, though. It seemed to have been dragging across the sky for at least 20 seconds. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but I've never seen that happen before.

I wonder if that meant something.

We laid there until our bodies started tingling and going numb and we couldn't stand the cold any longer. It was almost 2:30 a.m. and we finally decided to go back.

That night may not sound like much to you, but that's one of the best memories I have.

I finally felt free


                                 B.S.

"Why are you jealous of the moon?"*

This could go one of two ways. I can either be super sappy and try to sound poetic by saying something along the lines of: "The moon is this beautiful force that draws me in. Whenever I look up at it, I'm breath taken and I forget about everything I don't want to think about for a moment. I want someone to feel that when they look at me and the moon has billions of people looking at it in that way. I just want to be adored."

But the reality of it is:

The moon is surrounded by the stars and that sounds a hell of a lot better than being down here surrounded by idiots.



                                 B.S.

~ Bri ~

Im tired.
I'm really ******** tired.
I'm tired of the lies.
I'm tired of feeling alone.
I'm tired of not being enough.
I'm tired of getting hurt.
I'm tired of being heart broken.
I'm tired of caring too much.
I'm tired of hiding my feelings.
I'm tired of running away.
I'm tired of being used.
I'm tired of being manipulated.
I'm tired of being pushed around.
I'm tired of feeling weighed down.
I'm tired of being me.

I'm
    so
        ****
              tired


                                 B.S.