There’s one little line
That constantly eats at my mind
It’s the one thing you said
When I saw you for the last time
“Why didn’t I meet you later in life”
Cut through my chest like a knife
I was too mature for you
That’s something we both know
But I promised you I’d give you
All the time to grow
But you couldn’t wait
You had to escape

I still check on you
I hate it, but it’s true
Why can’t it just go away?
Name the price, I’ll pay
I’m sick and tired of feeling like this
4 years and I still feel like ****?
Honestly if I could talk to you one time
I’d get some closure from you this time
Every other time we spoke
I was holding on to one thing, hope
But today sitting here
I can tell we are too far from that dear

As I lay here at 5:30 AM I just can't take it all in. Moving away was something that I always wanted. It's just so different I can't really word it. I'm happy to be out here but I'm a little sick inside. Being so far away from everything that's been by my side. So close to having a brand new life. But my old one just started 2 months before I left it behind. They say my writing is great. But sometimes I can't believe it. Just stories of hard times that have controlled the way that my mind has been created. I think of all the masses. My mental isn't always focused upon the women's *****. Yes it strays there sometimes in the moment. But I want a girl that I can click with for eternity. And then eventually lead to her maternity. I want a mental, intellectual, and physical bond. I don't wanna repeat my last. I was in love it destroyed me when it crashed. But even the titanic sunk. Not everything is unbreakable even though if it says it was. We sank. And I find myself here. Slightly addicted to nicotine with a hole of despair. She doesn't know the plans that I had. But now it's too late to get them back. I need to get over her completely yes I do. But sometimes there's reasons your mind won't let you. I cry about her sometimes when I'm lonely. Idk if it's her or the fact I need someone to hold me. Next month it'll be a year. Since that day we shared both our tears. I cradled her in my arms. And we sat there and tore ourselves apart. It didn't make sense. Honestly it still doesn't. It affected you so much. So why didn't you stop it? All you had to do was ******* communicate. But since you didn't our lives have a different fate. I would have given you everything in the world. You would have been decked out in diamonds and pearls. I loved you so ******* much. But I guess my love couldn't compare to the buzz...

When I think of you it stops
We were never as high as the tree tops
But I promise you that day my heart stopped
When you told me our time was clocked
My mind never comprehended
But yours made a quick decision
I’ve moved on to better days
That, I truly can say
My brain isn’t completely corrupt of you
And my eyes finally see blue
So In a few words thank you

When the words in my head just can’t come together
I feel like I’m put together
Feelings haven’t come back in a long time but that’s whatever
I’ve moved on and that’s for the better
If only my mind could believe what my heart does
This internal battle would be done
I love her so much but is this what it truly is

It’s Valentines Day,
I thought of you today.
Our last one was great
Atleast that’s what I think
I wonder how you’re doing now
I’m doing great it just took awhile
Honestly I want to catch up soon
There’s so much I’ve been dying to tell you
I want to tell you thank you for breaking my heart,
Leaving me there alone,
To mend my self together body part by body part.
I want you to hear all the truth
You were the only girl I thought would ever do.
And the last thing to go over will be
That I hope you find you
Because once I did that myself
My skies turned bright blue

When you look at me
It takes my breathe away
On nights you have to leave
I want you to stay
That’s why I’m so quick
That we get our own place
I want to spend my time with you
I want to spend my life with you
Some people say “it’s too soon”
But they’ve never fell in love with you