Old machine, my heart,
Tastes blood, tastes hurt,
You were before,
You are after,
A part of you, beats faster,
Take me home,
Give it the answer,
Cheap meaning,
Real feeling,
The thrill of loneliness,
Pulls me in,
Like the moon pulls,
At the ocean,
Overcomes in waves,
Let it rinse me down,
Make me pure,
Make me found.

Becoming dull,
in it's confusion,
I found a beauty, and took it,
over time it's colour has faded.

running from my possession,
we will all take in the end,
heart ticking away,
blood runs clear when you cut deep.

fear is always a rational thing,
creature moving, to drink,
the smile,
I know you wanted to live.

Big wide open mouth,
The skin is stretched
Trying to breathe with all those teeth,
Inhaling my whole sky,

It (is me it) is not the same alone,
Be careful to catch your breath
Before you,
Eat your fill,

Not knowing how to be anything else,
But hungry.

And I go just as deep as the ocean don’t I.
Drowning in Irony
But I picture,
The bottom,

Somewhere warm and quiet,
I can speak a new language
I write books, maybe they get read maybe they don’t but I’m writing,
At home.

On the way down I will be
Dreaming of my own end,
And it is,
So quick to catch,
The wings of the thing,
Tangled between my blue fingers.

The universe moves and breathes around me,
Limitless possibilities,
and here I am,
Awkward and shaky,
Failing at communicating,
Squeeze the stone till it bleeds,
Love everyone not quite enough,
Meet them right, keep them wrong,
I am not worth possessing,
Breathing in the water,
The way it crashes into me,
So many people, their feelings messy and obvious,
Haphazardly hidden,
No one can figure it out, but we’re all here trying,
Scream into the oblivion,
That we are worth existing,
So much beauty all at once,
Falling into my split iris,
I am not a person, I am a collection,
Of time crushed into a body,
That thick smell after rain, or the way the sky washes over us,
Created something,
And everyone called it a person.

How do I write, in a language that communicates,
There is something in me - there is something in you, that we share,
The same ache, if it exists,
I could show you,
But I have never been good with words.

On this earth, I exist,
Weeping into the willow of these ten fingers,
No more.
To be so safe and so sad,
And if the summer sends me sun,
Then I say try your best,
Because even gravity and me,
Fall to the same faults,
Some icarus melting,
The wings that spread from under the shoulder.
We look for what we do not have,
And I am crying over truth 60 times a minute,
Making the woman with the cigarette dance,
I’ve never been an emotional person.
I have been asked - do I even feel at all?
It is a question in me
In this moment,
We are briefly beautiful.

So if I come to you,
Loud and raw and stupid,
Would you still love me?
I paint myself white, with words, with words,
Blood rushed to the cheeks,
He said I taste bitter, under the sweet skin,
And I thought,
I don’t know how to be,
The person I thought I would be when I was five anymore,
When everything was given,
I’m sorry I’m trying to love,
Ruthlessly, and thoughtlessly,
Let me live, like no one has ever lived before.