Growing up has taught me
The kind of man I’m meant to be
I’m not happy when I’m succeeding
and I’m not pretty

Keep your distance
Keep your distance
Keep your distance
From me

I still haven’t figured things out
I doubt that I ever will be
peaceful, coming to terms with that
Makes me feel more free

Keep your distance from me

I used to write of a man lost at sea
Of a mountain man
Of things I’d like to think
I could strive to be

Keep
Keep
Keep your distance from me

I’m drowning on solid ground
Burning and crashing
Surrounded by a thriving town
Burning and crashing
By friends who would never let me down

Keep your distance from me

Please
Oh please
Just give me peace

I used to be better
At being with those less put together
But as I assemble my own pieces
I've become bad at that, too

A girl wants a fiery temper
Tattoo scars from bad weather
And pieces not assembled
So she's something to do

While a boy wants not to feel bad
Something sad to make glad
As if he has no root in the blame
That any other person’s due

So now I'm trapped somewhere between
What makes up a girls dream
And what I now assume
A woman must want, too





I’m probably still wrong

*** starved and aging badly
Too many cigarettes and 'dank *** ****'
Bad tattoos and ****** hair so scraggly
He's called in sick to work all week

He set his high score four years ago
But she broke his heart last June
Now he's stuck in his parents basement
Doing speed runs on Halo 2

She has no cash to feed her cats
But she bought two wigs on Monday
She dresses up like anime girls
And thinks she'll be famous someday

She'll tell you she's just keeping it real
While dressed like someone from science fiction
She meets the boy at some comic con
And they go to her hotel room to make friction

...

Edgelords and meme queens
Addicted to the obscene
Spewing hateful words
With no care for what they mean

It seems that even the regals
                                   Are doing their kegels

I want to walk in
bartender gives me a smile
She says, 'hey how's it been?'
And then we talk for a while

She pours me a drink
asks, 'what'll it be?'
'Oh just the regular,
but with a side of green beans'
---
I wanna be a regular somewhere
It's something I'd like to be
A familiar face, man
Comin' in off the streets
---
And now my car's close to empty
And I need to grab milk
So I'll buy half a gallon
And give her a fill

'Back for dairy again, huh?
It'll be two fifty-nine'
'Plus I need some regular gas
Here's twenty this time'
---
I wanna be a regular somewhere
Somewhere where they know me
They give me **** for my habits
And for driving a red SUV
---
Now I pull in the drive way
And I walk through the door
I take a look at the clock
Already ten fifty-four

I make my way to the bedroom
Trying not to wake her from sleep
I lay in my regular spot
And she puts her arms around me
---
I wanna be a regular somewhere
It's something that I've yet to be
'Cause I don't know if you know this -
Sometimes I'm even irregular to me

Two nights in a row
with the sun coming up
I thought one was an outlier
but two is more than enough
As Roger Murtaugh would say:
I'm getting too old for this ****
But you keep swinging away;
you must be some wunderkind

I guess you'll never be done
Being this young
When your friends keep you up
By acting so numb

But I guess this is 'fun'...

All the **** that I said
about how ****** up your heart is
now seems to be stripped off
lying on the bedroom floor

And the clock on your wall
is tic-talking to me now
tail dancing to secrets
its cat eyes motion to the door

But your head on my chest
weighs me down like an anchor
keeps me under the lighthouse
drowning just off the shore

And the worst of it is
you know exactly what you're doing
and you know what it takes
to have me crawl back for more

Burn down the ice caps over my eyes
Your flamethrower love is powered by lies
Scorching the earth in search of the truth
I'm proven guilty without the proof

I search for the entrance of the maze in your heart
But the bigger journey, so far, is just finding where to start

From the hip
A tragic slip
Yet you still don't remember me
One shot
Not for naught
But it doesn't make me bleed
Like a fly
On your eye
Though it's something you can't see
But a glitch -
A phantom itch
Just one is all I'd need

We're free

When being on top of the world
Has me up on the ropes
I like to keep my options open
Like you keep your legs closed

I don't

Old habits die marred
Especially during scarred times
When you need a more unfamiliar bed
Than the one found in soft rhymes
Sometimes comfort is found in uncomfortable places
I've never found it in familiar faces
Sometimes it's found in the strangest of spaces
And others it's found in uptempo paces

A hold up a minute
Just to waist a second
Killing thyme with a vegan
Who feeds upon my meat
I'm picking up good libations
She's giving me exaltations
We're stalking hand in hand
In the intersection of a bustling heat

She gave me her throat-like throne
Just to take away my crown
Slipping through a crack in the floor, bored
We forget all proper nouns
We haven't sent out one invitation
Yet we're throwing parties in a ghost town
From dusk 'til it dawned on us
From sun up until the son set us down

We feast

I started to shave my beard from my face
Because someone had said that it had changed
But I was afraid that my youth had passed
So now I just have a mustache

A dream can be
A wonderful place to live
Where you can shape anything
To your whim
Unless it becomes a nightmare
Composed by static strife
But I don't want to dream anymore
I want to live in a real life

Though you may not be the man
You were when you fell asleep
(I guess that's sort of the point
To living in a dream)
Every passing minute
Is another chance to turn it all around
A chance to accept your losses
But still fight for solid ground

I would love to wake up
And be the mole on your chest
But I know I'll just be me
So that is who I must caress
And although the narrative is clearer
I still enjoy distressed formats
So, I'll still hope to see you in another life
When we are both cats
Yes, when your own dream should end
I hope you can finally clearly see me
And I hope you are no longer sad
When you're holding that martini

Space loving:
You and me,
Swimming through each other
In The Great Empty
Spaceships
that pass in the night
Taking (clothes) off
At the speed of light

She tried the fiery reds
like love, hearts
and the end of cigarettes
Like the sun rising on a brand new day
But she's tried too much
and they've become a cold, sad grey

Like an elephant
who remembers acquaintances from the past
revisiting their graves
like an old iconoclast

She once tried all of the blues
Tight ripped jeans and salty rivers
for a lover, their eyes the same hue
She even tried to swim out into the ocean spray
But she's tried too much
and they've become a bleak, empty grey

Like the clouds of a storm
on the Fourth of July
******* the joy from
explosions in the sky

She confided at times in the colors brown
The pitch of her own eyes, of sand
and her old hometown
She tried to sculpt her feelings in clay
But she's tried too much
and they've become a dry, calloused grey

Like stones of a castle
built to keep others out
She's locked away in her tower
with a head full of doubt

I hear that, these days, she dabbles in black
Like emptiness, nightmares,
and crooked witch hats
Not unlike the swan in the ballet
But at least this is one color
that will never turn grey

You are the answer
You are the question
You are indulgence
And you are mass discretion
I am the student
I am the teacher
I am the sinner
And I am the preacher
You are the rabbit
You are the fox
You are both inside
And outside the box
I'm empty pockets
with future wealth
I am acknowledgment
with assassin like stealth
We are practically strangers
Yet we know each other so well
We're riding high on Ferris wheels
While on our own carousel
We are together
Yet at times far apart
We know not where we end
But we know where we would start

I know you'll be waiting, still wild as a fire,
At the pearly gates
Still cracking jokes and swinging bats
So very nineteen ninety-eight
Pinching **** from underwear drawers
Of the patron ****** saints
And teaching all the angels
How to pull your favorite pranks

Pull out that flask from your white robe
This one's for you, my favorite ghost,
You always said Hell was at the end of your road
But I think that we both know

For once, you're looking down on me

Like a lion made of paper mâché
Caught up in an earthquake
They think I look so brave
But I fall apart on shaky days

Like having the courage,
but being far from a lion,
I have no straw man,
but a heart to stitch
I have a great mind
Yet it's over oiled
And I've wandered the road
In search of all I've missed

I don't look like a night tremor
But I am
Oh, I am
I don't look like the Fisher King
But I am
Oh, I am
I don't look like a night tremor
But when you dream of fields
I am the burning emmer
I don't look like the Fisher King
But when I lost my mind
it seems I gained everything

You can have the right gameplan
You can win all the rounds
But you still need your chin tucked
Until the final bell sounds

See,
My footwork was perfect
I'd slip in, jab, slip out
And I avoided the takedowns
For most of the bout

The final stanza opened
He came out slingin' leather
So I stuck to the outside
I've been taught to know better

I should've pushed for the finish
But I thought I'd play it safe
When I woke up after the fifth
Coach asked if I knew my name

I told him, "what happened?"
I asked him, "I'm fine."
The cage was still spinning
And I couldn't clear my mind

"You got caught, kid
But it could be much worse
You could be leavin' Las Vegas
In the back of a hearse."

I felt so disappointed
Like I let everyone down
My trainers, my family
And everyone in my hometown

Then he smiled at me
"But you were saved by the bell!
Running on instincts alone
You made it through Hell."

The fog began to roll back
I could make out the cheers
I guess hard work and dedication
Paid off through the years

So just remember this story
The next time you're in doubt
You may find yourself down
But never count yourself out

You built me a ship with your own two hands
Which I over analyzed to try and understand
To see things better, I used your magnifying glass
But recklessly, I burned holes in the mast
With nothing left to hold up the sails
I had to find a new way to wander my trails
So I've left the boat, the water, and the cold, rocking sea
To continue on foot, towards a much better me
As it turns out, I wasn't meant for the skies
Nor for the ocean, and all of its tides
Because I was known for getting too high
Or for getting too lost, with no safety in sight
But finally I'm grounded, satisfied at worst
Comfortable in my surroundings, it feels like a first
I'm walking towards something, instead of floating around
I'm carrying tunes instead of just making sound
And though it's no longer here for this part of my trip
I wanted to thank you for building a ship

We're loaded like a six shooter
Six ***** to the hammer
and we empty again
We've been playing Russian roulette
and now it's your turn
to put us up to your head
And like a song about
how life is like a song
I'll keep this to the point
it won't go on for too long
The chamber revolves
the chorus is the click
We're both in a better place
once the breakdown finally hits

I will pick you to pieces,
Break you down into different parts
I will target every weakness
And test that thing you call a heart
It's my reaction, only natural
Since you did unto me the same
And now that Summers long since over
I can't seem to forget your name

You've a head right for business
A body you've proudly forged in sin
And a heart locked up so tight
Yet you've let a deadbeat in
I've a tongue forged in gold
I shouldn't bite it, yet I do
I guess it's just a force of habit
and I almost always chip a tooth

You can't just walk into the fire
  You'd burn up like paper tigers

                  No,

You must run into the fire
   -  I swear you'll burn much brighter

We had no idea the kind of plan they'd constructed
It seemed like any other night until the gunshots erupted
We had no idea that they would come by the sea
It's like they knew exactly where our weakness would be

We awoke in the quarters that they let us share
In less than a minute, we were dressed and prepared
We passed Captain Troy, Composed Mike and Voltaires
We chased down our checkpoint as they headed for theirs

We got past the doors and down the east gate
We passed a few bodies, now resting in fate
Out in the horizon were blazing, sinking ships
Reminiscent of the feeling that this could be it

It was the final battle of this three year feud
A ****** war zone - confined in youth
Endless explosions rained over me and you
The last thing illuminated would be the truth

We finally met our squad at the watchtowers base
When I noticed the calming assurance on your face
We all loaded our guns to await your command
When a shooting star fell just as you raised your hand

The bomb went off and left me shaking my head
But that's better than those injured, unconscious, and dead
You yelled and reminded me to do what it took to survive
To not pity the others, not while we were still alive

Just as you told all the women and men to fall back
Our group was ambushed, caught in the sneak attack
They grabbed you first and you said, 'I love you, now run!
This war isn't over, they haven't yet won!'

So I rushes inside, barred the doors behind me
Where the crippling pain brought me to one knee
They came and they pillaged, they took you in the night
But I wiped the tears from my eyes, and got ready to fight

There were a few other soldiers, one friend I knew well
I sight for sore eyes, he could compose himself
We held the main hall, it was our prison cell
with the enemy at our door, we prepared for hell

Mike was at the window, "oh god, we've been betrayed"
When the doors swung open and life was dismayed
A few shots were fired, there was no time to reload
But we don't turn tail and run, we took the warriors road

The infantry men trapped Mike who began to weep
As the bayonet blade sunk its edges in deep
He screamed out to me "Things are not as they seem"
The rest of us kick,
we bite,
we scratch,
and we screamed

Oh dear lord, how loudly we screamed





The final bastion broken, our defenses crumbled
With a sword to our throats we kneel to be humbled
I look up to meet my executioner, and her cold view
A mans last words killed the surprise, I knew it was you


The blade cuts clean
Just as your lies do

Like a baseball bat
in a room full of clocks
Just swing, Jack, swing
no longer give any *****
Turn them all back,
and then stop them completely
At a time when my fangs
were not yet wisdom teeth
My grip,
I'm losing it
Like a montegues
on a capulet
My vices,
mobbed with pitchforks
Is it being lonely
or in good company that's worse?

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles … ”

I find comfort in the sea of troubles
Yet, I enjoy drama springing from drawn bows
Is it worth the riches doubled
If solely gained through making foes?
A game of thrones is drawn on daggers
Sheathed beneath a sacred cloth
Do you force yourself to stagger
Drawn to the warmth of new gods?
Or do you throw it all away -
A peasant to a smaller fate
To find richness in each new day
Where in small comforts you partake?

Pretentious lies the one being

Left speechless lies his brother

They cannot hope to share what they’re seeing

With
               one
                              another

A never ending itch
I can only ever start to scratch
Scared of being scared,
Like backing out of a suicide pact
I surround myself with people
who don't know any better than me
A sea of others gasping for air -
The only place I've ever learned to breathe
I numb myself to their level
Until a comfort washes over me
Surrounded by unlocked minds,
Tying mine down to feel free
I'm drowning in an ignorance
While my best friend eats his LSD
He says I'm trying to run away
By rooting here, like a tree

A map unfolds the way
I think I'm supposed to take
Yet I'll just lay here all day
Until fate shakes me awake

I'm over this, but I can't get out
Loosen the ego in oatmeal cream stout
I'm over this, I can no longer get lost
But I'm already here,

                              so I'll do my best

No matter the cost

I hear when you're upset, a walk calms your mind
It explains why you're in stride all of the time
I know, right now, I'm the cause of your feverish pace
I'm the reason you've took to the trail and covered your face
So I suppose it makes sense that I should apologize
I know you love your shoes, but take this walk in mine
The souls they share - they're already worn
The toes are scuffed and the laces torn
They've been everywhere I've ever tried to roam
Eyelets have seen it all, except a peaceful home
The right tongue, it sometimes slips and lies out right
And the heel has turned, but not without a fight
They know how to cut shapes, they've kicked ideas around
Their views on life and the world are quite profound
The curve where your arch rests, it almost feels divine
They could be a perfect fit, yeah, they're my size nines

Even the darkest of clouds
will run out of rain

"I bet I'll get free drugs"

                    Is dignity so cheap?

All the time, defined by enemy lines,
And all that's on my mind is lies
On lies
On lies

Aye-aye!
                    Tough fight!
Heavy eyes!
           God given rights!

I wanna be someone that you believe
that you'll believe
that you believe in

I wanna hear something that I think
you'll mean
even though you think, right now,
you couldn't possibly mean it

How can something
Taste so absolutely
As if it's nothing

A peaceful autumn breeze and me at seventeen
Both of us kicking leaves, killing time at the ravine
When suddenly it all hits me


Nothing is as it seems


I grew up an angry kid,
Punk-rock was all I did
Black t-shirts, with harsh swear words,
Growing up - the only thing it hid

Fifty miles in my moms car, thinking that was so **** far
A small crowd packed in a dingy bar
All to wait for dimming lights, stage-dives, fist fights
We'd sing the songs all ******* night,
It made us feel like we were right

But nothing'd ever change

The world doesn't hear fifty young voices,
Bold flavored shirts don't change others' choices
Besides, the concrete walls drowned out most of our noises
No one could see our radical views,
Nobody else thought it was anything new,
But it was what we chose to do

2007, that's the year I grew

I see old friends posting pictures,
Now they look like aging hipsters,
Still wearing the black tops,
Still hanging at the same record shops
"Glory never fades if you never leave it"
But some of us just need change,
Goals to move towards,
Something to believe in
And some get stuck in what they're doing
If they’re happy then there's no sense moving

No reason for turning the page
Some people never change

We talked.
We got together.
We drank.
We left together.
We ******.
We slept together.
We dreamed.
We woke up together.
We laughed.

I left.

You never responded to my texts again.

At least you didn't continue
to lead me on.
I don't have to spend the time
asking myself
what's going through your mind.
          (I will anyway,
     but at least I don't have to,
          I'm not drawn in by misleading texts,
     words you tell my friends,
          or more drunken ***)

At least I know I was just a body,
used to keep you warm.

Oh hell
Hell no
No way
Way to go
We've only got a little bit further
'Til we get through the snow

Right on
On guard
Guards are up
Up in arms
It took you time to see
That this is part of our charm

We head back
Back down
Down and out
Out on the town
You look just like a starry sky
In that new night gown

More drinks
Drink it up
Up and down
Down the cup
Just a little bit more
and I swear that's enough

I like you
You like me
Me and you
You can see
Even if it doesn't last
For right now, it's meant to be

We get home
Home run
Run away
Away and done
If I am truly your moon
Than you must be my sun

We lay here
Here in my space
Spacing out
Out of the race
I hold your body close
So you'll find comfort in my place

In my arms
Arms race
Racing hearts
Hearts and spades
I will cherish this moment
Even when the warmth fades

If you'll hope for hope
I'll hope that I can, too.
Between the towers and the marble
something drew me to you.

Because you're trying to get something.
I think that it's inner peace.
but you won't find that here,
no you won't, not in me.

And even if I were right,
you would tell me that I'm wrong.
You don't want a man to save you,
just someone who plays along.

So I've stopped answering the questions;
I side with you in false awe.
But wonder and adventure
are both dishes best served raw.

I've introduced you to my friends,
we've all danced the nights away.
And yet I still feel lonely
when you ask why I can't stay.

You haven't put that much together
to not have an answer by now.
It either means you're empty headed
or a tease, but I'm in doubt.

You just don't feel this way,
not as often as me.
And if that's the case,
then I guess we'll never be.

Girl, I still feel alone
when you ask me to stay
because I still feel alone
each and every other day.

See, a man needs something
that he can hold on to,
and that's either his chivalry
or a woman like you.

Yeah, it's either a bottle
or a woman like you.

You know, it's either his faith
or a woman like you.

I swear, life sure gets hard
without a woman like you.

The leather was ice cold
in my car and my backseat.
So, we spread out my suitcoat
like a blanket on the beach;
not enough to make much difference,
but it kept the sand off of our feet.
I guess this was the perfect getaway,
a fitting end to a bitter week.

You were never the target
so I never really missed
Close to home was the spot
I intended to hit
And as for the mark,
I'm not sorry to've took aim
But she was just a simple pawn
in an exemplary game

Its paralysis in wonderland
Ignoring all the things you can
Building a soapbox out of buried hatchets
On which you finally hope to take a stand

Will you ever be this young again?

I don't know, but don't get mad
when I ignore your gender, man


We split the toll for the long road home
We find ourselves questioning things
that they never wanted us to know

Pioneering sinking ships,
- still being told to 'row!'
A routine change of quarters,
Pushing on every border,
Until you finally feel you've found a home


Where is your light?

                               Where is your soul?







I guess we've got a ways to go

You said I was just a street rat
An Aladdin with no Abu
But if I only had three wishes,
I wouldn't waste a single one on you
The first would be for money
The second would fix my crooked jaw
and my third and final wish
Would get me the **** out of Agrabah

Nothing more than something to look at
Nothing more than a stake in the ground


Nothing more
          than movements in the wind

I got lost in a sea of people
And a monkey mask
And although the snow was rollin
She didn't tell, I didn't ask

I'm bad at letting people in
Unless I'm in a different state of mind
But like all the faults I've found
It's bound to fade away with time

I fear I only feel at home
Surrounded by faces I don't know
And that unless I'm in an awkward situation
I'm doomed to always feel so cold

I lost my soul to California
Although I've never been out west
I know the golden state of mind
Of those who think they know me best

I found worth in a sea of people
Caught beneath an avalanche
And although it took some time and courage
I think it's finally worth the chance

Everyone I meet these days
likes to ask me what I do
And I was hoping until recently
that the answer might be you
But she took my hand when Sandra Bullock fell
and then she took me home to *****
And now my moral standing stands alone

and it's contradicted, too

I got a postcard from the street
"I miss how you put your feet to me"
But she was always such a cheat

A ******,
            A *****,
                          A tease

And I don't expect you to understand
But, my darling, once again
My feet need to meet with their old friend

I think it's time we made amends

Katie loves gin
and the way it makes her act
She states her thoughts about the world
as if each of them were fact

It makes Adam feel
                    Like she's the one

Because Adams been lost
since the day he first found
the first pretty girl
he made make a pretty sound

Her name was Sara
                    And they’re still friends

Sara liked to move fast
and liked to leave even faster
until she found the perfect ****
who she's dubbed The Master

His name is Max
                    And he keeps secrets well

He only sleeps with women
when he's drunk and on the run
He's never shared the secret
of where he holstered up his gun

A pistolero of a man
                    Who's name is Tom

Who only met with Max
when he was mad at his bride
Who had a secret of her own
of who she sees on the side

A therapist named Paul
                    Who pretends to listen well

Paul likes to drink
on the job he calls weighty
and finds irony in his favorite patient
a little drunk named Katie

Whom he's often told
                    Should speak her mind

So she had a party
and told friends to invite friends
But once the therapist arrived
it began to spell the end

Secrets spilled
                    And people cried

Tom and his wife
ended up in a divorce
During which he left Max
in an attempt to make it work

And now Max drinks
                    Almost every night

He almost always ends up
on the couch in Sara's house
after putting down his bottle
and getting lost in her blouse

She tells all her friends
                    She thinks she's in love

It forces Adam into envy
who try's to make something out of lust
with a crazy little drinker
for whom he could never be enough

She's already been asleep
                    Wrapped in a doctors arm

Who's already unraveled
                    This strange ball of yarn