When my time comes and I past,
Do not stand above and weep,
This is where I lay forever asleep,
Thousand's Memories, had many enemies,
seen many discoveries, death is just life summaries,
You may seen my tombstone alone and neglected,
Date and name chiselled out on polished stone,
Decaying and becoming nothing but bone,
Reaching out to all those who cares,
it is too late to mourn, death affairs,
Just put me in a sheet and bury me, Unethical,
Please, Don't poison my body with Embalming chemicals,
My blood, My Body Fluids, Drain in to you,
Pure and True, Allow me provide the plants to grow,
While I feed and Nurture your soil, Nurture your soil,
I won't allow the Human Death culture to spoil,

When my time come and I past,
Remember that I had a blast,
So plant the tree's, Flowers above,
and watch them grow with my love,
watch the wild animals play above,
see the true love from the two doves,
Most of humanity was undeserving,
My spirit running free and observing,
Waiting for them all to conserve and preserve
Still acting like there always do, quiet absurd,
Was it natural, was it suicidal,
Maybe my religion was the Mother Earth's bible,
Maybe I could not stay another day,
to love, To laugh, to work and to play,
Watching this world decay, this way,
I think my time is near, or tell me when it is, Hel,
This whole world is my hell, Farewell,
Let me run wild and Free, Cernunnos,
Where no one knows,
Let me join my Animal Brothers and Sisters,
where they play and run, like winds of whispers,
In the Spring, Autumn Equinox, Midsummer and Winter Solstice.

HAHA, Stephen, you think that,
You could ever forget you past,
With the demon on you shoulder,
With a gun to your head, think fast.
Stephen, don’t you see, you’re a shell,
Of the person you long to be,
You know everyone, even you goes through hell,
Wishing all the times, Why can’t I just be me.
HAHA ,Stephen, You need to open your eyes,
No one cares about your words, there not real,
There not honesty or emotions, just stupid and offensive,
While you lock down and refuse to speak, self defensive ,
System to cope  while the world systems falling,
You just don’t care about everyone else,
Cause the voices in your head, aren’t your own.
HAHA, Am the Sane voice on the left,  Insane on the right,
We are the self doubt and am on the right making sure you fail.

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA, STEPHEN, THIS IS SATAN,
Maybe your parents where right, you were a mistake,
Maybe they should have an abortion,
Maybe your teachers , were right that you are a failure,
And You should have  ended up in Jail,
Why did you every decide to prove then wrong,
College, NVQ Level 3 Hospitality and catering,
Started a 16 hour job, that was part time,
At 16 you did a year of Youth Club that,
We know you enjoyed, but we kept telling you,
That it wasn’t for you, but you didn’t happen,
Up from 7am to 3am each day, at 17.
Should have worked 16 hours a week,
But close to 80 hours weekly,
You threw in the college course,
Cause you were feeling tired and weak,
You were working Monday to Friday 5pm to midnight,
College Monday to Friday 7am to 4pm,
Saturdays and Sundays Full Day,
You threw the towel in at college, cause you couldn’t hack it,
But you took 6 month out, decided to try again,
We screamed that your a failure, you say No,
You tried to do a Health and social care,
At college once again, but failed cause you,
Were told to type up 8 months of writing work,
In 2 weeks that I screamed and said how do you think,
I can complete this task, stay up every day and night,
Typing this lot up, it ****** crazy.
All we keep telling you, that you’re a ******* failure,
But yet at 24 you defied us once again,
Applied and when to University,
With no qualifications and somehow,
Worked with out of controlled Children, gained Level 4,
And we keep screaming, how did you not loose it,
Also you lived at University, in the same halls,
As your lying, hateful Ex, how did you not hit him,
We knew you were close, or did the ***** help,

Stop, Stop, Stop, Just Stop,
Silence Both OF YOU,
On the left and on the right,
Who to say I am not that bright,
Preacher always Reaching, Left Sick,
Satan always doubting, Right Trick,
Preacher all you do is speak the good,
Satan all you do is is laugh and hag,
Preacher, you're words are thought for food,
Satan, You're words are something for you to brag,
Preacher you're up, Satan you're down,
While I sit laughing, at the night in tears till I drown,
What is wrong with me,
Why am I so mess up,
Why can't I be the person,
I was back in early 2000's,
They say your personality does fully develop,
Until 25, maybe my past was a letter inside the envelop,
Maybe it time, that I faced it,
With a checkered history, scars to prove it,
Emotions to sabotage this,
Alcoholic drink and drug Hit,
It's just Satan, Preacher and Me.

Hello Stephen, I'm your demon,
I see that morning,
No ambition to move,
No ambition to start the day,
Mind is running a million miles,
Did you remember to take your pill,
Or are you giving into the cravings,
For drugs and the alcohol again,
Did you remember that today,
Is today that day, you've failed,
You alway said that you've spoke your mind,
But constantly double checking,
Should I have said that, Should I have posted that,
Knowing that the whole world, won't accept that,
Sparking the hatred and the fact checkings,
Why are you crying, is it cause your hated,
That no one cares, no one loves you,
That you know you have no real friends,
That everyone despises you,
Because everyone was right,
Your pathetic, nothing more than a failure,
Trying to control yourself, and not go off the rails,
You should have listened to your teachers,
Maybe you would have been better off,
As a criminal, someone that done a crime,
Cause everyone hate you, all the time,
So what you doing, sitting here self loathing,
Maybe you should have listened to your family,
That they never wanted you,
Said that they wish that they should have aborted you,
Don't you understand that your life, been 9 years overtime.

Hello Demon, I'm just Stephen,
Stop with all these flies, all these lies,
I locked you away, it was you that found a way,
Back and i don't know if your here to stay,
Yes, your the reason my mind runs a million miles,
Every day that you say no to my smiles,
Yes, it you that made me this way, maybe I create you,
So I had a true friend to stay,
Maybe it was me that created you, to talk to,
To guide me through, but now,
All I see if that your no good, you betray,
Making me obey, fearful and faraway,
Maybe I am pathetic, maybe I am a failure,
But since I locked you away,
Look at what I done and achieved,
But now since 25,
You back and here to stay,
Drugs to help and trying to forget you,
Trying to be me, trying to say true,
But every day you push through,
We both know one day this will end,
Who be the winner and who will descend.

Maybe it time,
That I swung this all around,
Lock the door, pound on the ground,
Maybe it time,
That I spoke my mind,
No shield, No Lies,
From today till the last one dies,
It time I did this for myself,
You can stay inside,
Watch this, on how I say what I feel,
Overcoming what you drill in fear.

In the morning mist,
Sat here, hand in a fist,
A million things running through my head,
Waking up sometimes wishing I was dead,
They say everyone has a story to tell,
They say everyone wishes upon the well,
I know that everyone goes through hell,
Wishing that my story I could tell,
Wishing that my fear didn't stop me,
From closing up and pushing them away,
From knowing everyone else is going to say,
Stop being selfless, think about the others,
Think about your father, mother and brothers,
Think about your relationships and lovers,
Stop being selfless, it not all about you,
Think about others with stories to tell,
Think about others who just fell,
Through some sort of pain and depression,
Why do I force myself into this oppression.

Maybe I need to be selfless, to get better,
Maybe I need to be careless, to see the life letter,
All I have done in the past,
My friendship never last,
Life is moving way to fast,
I will scream if I hear one more, "Am here for you"
In the past, I reached to you with no response too,
I know that everyone has a story to tell,
But where my wish that cast upon the well,
I know that everyone, say that someone there, just call,
But if I call will you answer, maybe in the fall,
I know everyone find comft in the line,
"Am here if you need someone to talk"
In the past, I message just to be told to walk,
So excuse me if I don't cry or call you with my problems,
But answer and listen to yours everytime you want,
Been called toxic and maybe drugs and alcohol are my toxins,

I've been a selfless wreck for as long as I can remember,
I've been a self destructive force, as a humanity member.

BOOM!!!!
Drop the ******* Bomb,
Go ahead and cry,
That my words, hurt your feelings,
Guess what little boy, little girl,
This is the truth, forget about the lies,
Cause if you want to be the sheep that dies,

Police Brutality,
Car Fatality,
Injection Lethality,
So wake the **** up,

This isn't immortality,
me and you are mortal,
This is mortality,
See the portal.

FIRE!!!
Go ahead and pull the trigger,
Go ahead and aim,
cause humanity is bigger,
so naturally, everyone is to blame,

Gays, Straights, Catholics,
Christians believers,
So butchers and murders,
Ready Steady Cleavers,

This isn't immortality,
me and you are mortal,
This is mortality,
See the portal.

SCREAM!...
This is not ******* fair,
You cannot say that,
This is not ******* fair,
You cannot believer that,
who are you,

You are the Devil,
The sinner,
drowning water level,
We are the offender winner,
You are the one,
that will be the death,
of the past,
You're not immortal,
See how long you last

I cannot feel guilty for having free will, free thought,
having the right to live, the right to stand my ground,
having the right to speak out about the worlds animosities,
Cause free will and thought, is now just modern atrocities,
Demoralizing, analyzing, patronizing, wake up and see,
the false symbolizing and socializing,

Call me racist, cause I don't agree with the BLM movement,
even thought I stated that I agree with the segment of the movement,
just don't agree with the organization behind it and your own actions,
Okay, you scream Black lives matter, Police brutality and to end Systemic racism,
But only focusing on the police, where the focus upon,
Education system, Work systems, Health care system,
Go ahead and tell me where was the riots,
For the police brutality from 2015 - 2019..
Why was it different to get social media and news coverage for the deaths of,
Michael Brown that kicked off the movement,
What happened to the deaths in 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019. where was the coverage
then we heard all the names from the victims after Michael,
When it was time for George Floyd to be covered, that just 2020.

Call me homophobic, that am against the LGBTQ Plus Community,
Just cause I don't share the same views or stand in a fight with you,
Against homophobic even if it more towards religion,
Call me homophobic, because you see my views that damning,
yet proving that hatred behaviour works both ways,
It funny that I don't stand and scream "How can I be homophobic",
Am pretty sure that I dated equal amount of men and women,
so why should I hate the whole community, why should I have to hate,
Religion and straights, when you commend everyone the same,
That if you don't stand with our cause, we will ruin your life,
Maybe that I see that it not everyone or all to blame,
That am accepting of free will and free thought,
that am more welcoming to the view and opinions,
even if they hurt or offend,
What happens if we switch the tables,
Cause it so clear that the world is okay to be,
Free thinkers and believe in Free will,
If everyone beliefs and views aligned with everyone else, worldwide,
So here the switch up, Let see shall we....

Look what if that slavery was just white oppression,
That the slave owners were just blacks,
What if that white people were killed by police brutality,
News headline read as " Black cop murders unarmed white guy".
What if that Homosexuality was the new religious,
where most of the gays were the catholic paedophiles,
Come here alter boys and girls, please me, shhh don't tell your mothers or your father's.
What happen if Catholics, Christians, straights, was the full on homosexuality,
and the bible was saying that gay's and bisexual person were always the sinners,
Look maybe the ****'s are not as bad as history tell us,
Maybe the 6 millions Jews just committing suicide,
Even that Jesus will come back and punish all the sinner,
Leaving the true believers, saving half of them, as the winner,
Maybe that Donald Trump was sounding racist,
Maybe that he was just trying his best,
Maybe that Boris Johnson is stupid,
But he the best hope for Britain.

Waking up feeling fresh, pills on the side,
Taking all of my strength not to pop them,
Man, I hope this feeling stays, been to hell and back,
too scared to make plans today,
s.h.i.t, am surprised even if my family and friends, know where I am,
It getting too hard to breathe, too hard to think straight,
with all the stuff running a million miles inside my head,
Scars on my legs and my body, a story of the past,
scars forever to last, sometimes, Maybe I am better dead,
People scream, ******* Open up, Open up Like a book,
Then when I do, they all scream shut the hell up, it all about you,
Stare in the mirror and take a ******* hard look,
Thinking about why do they want me to be open, to close me down,
when all I do is sit and listen and help them,
Am I selfish or am I Narcissistic,
Maybe I need him, Maybe I want to be in him,
Maybe it is hard for me to speak,
Never speaking with anyone who seen him,
Asking and double question myself,
Should I start to redeem stuff I done,
So when I am gone, I can meet him,
Should I believe in God, Should I believe in Lucifer,
Should I believe in Mother Nature,
When I see nothing but hatred and humanity comes the executioner,
Should I become the crucifer, or become more of the newcomer,
Ran away from all the labels and chains they tried to bound me with,
Maybe I wasn't made for the nine to fives or the education system,
Maybe I was too F.u.cked up from the moment I was birthed,
Maybe I was too F.u.cked up to cope or maybe am cursed,
They tell me the drugs I need to stay sane,
sometimes, They refused and make me more insane,
I know they are prescripted but they help better,
Than the self medication drugs of the past,
Where paranoia and voices came way too fast,
Maybe am too F.u.cked up that I don't care,
Maybe am too far gone that all the truth stays in sight,
Maybe am too F.u.cked up that even the World's lies, flies,
Maybe am too F.u.cked up that everything I read and see,
My mind states the truth,
Maybe my mind makes me an racist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Feminist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Antifeminist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Communist,
Maybe my mind makes me an socialist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Fascist,
Maybe my mind makes me an conversationist,
Maybe my mind makes me an colonizationist,
Maybe my mind makes me an preservationist,
Maybe my mind makes me an conventionalist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Abortionist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Antiabortionist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Pyschiatrist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Nonpyschiatrist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Intellectualist,
Maybe my mind makes me an experimentalist,
Maybe my mind makes me an obstructionist,
Maybe my mind makes me an segregationist,
Maybe my mind makes me an integrationist,
Maybe my mind makes me an Cooperationist,
Maybe my mind is too f.u.cked that It everything,
Where it see nothing but the both side of each story,
All the lies, all the hate, and all the truth,
Maybe my mind loves to self debate,
Reform and reshaped the views and opinions,
to make others screams and cry like onions,
Maybe Am too mess up to say "I wish",
That I could change and not be who I am,
but then that going against everyone who screams,
Be proud of who you are, stay true to yourself,
Maybe, it those who scream be proud and stay true to yourself,
are those who are way to easy to offend and tick off,
and unable to handle the ******* truth,
unable to handle the honest from those who value,
Demanding and screaming handle because it shallow.