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Stephan Apr 2016
____

My life in a canvas backpack
A bus ticket and a pack of gum
Fifty bucks in the pocket of my favorite jeans
A muted cell phone with a cracked screen
Rear windows subtract a fading past
Exhaust smoke slowly obscures  
A tear wets the corner of my smile
Facing the unknown from a worn vinyl seat
Something better down this two-lane highway
My future waits, one mile marker at a time
Stephan Jul 2016

Quiet echoes bring the night of cricket song and firefly
as masks of clouded abstract shades intercept
Foaming colors take the eye to moments of shadowed dreams,
crimson plumes beneath a starlit canopy
Footing soft on dry grass down paths not yet worn,
wandering along fence line silhouettes

A golden sphere, above mature pecan trees appears as curtains lift
igniting the northern sky in beaconed majesty
Slowly puzzle pieced mist clears and bursts of color,
rainbows of dark bands announce the arrival
as this evening’s lunar show begins amidst
heavy sighs and mesmerized smiles

Soft in splendor, basking in myth,
the full moon, distant yet touching the soul
This night is shared, beyond horizon’s glare
and focused thoughts of two places, two hearts, one sky
Whispers follow beams of ancient descent, silently finding her,
hoping she will sense and know…that it is this moon that is ours
Stephan May 2016
.

Melting away in the past
What was, what I have lost
Tears form thoughts
Thoughts bring tears
Black and white vintage
No happy endings
What could have been
Your smile etched
Pain driven vacancy
Wondering answers mount
Dancing alone forever
Caught in my own web
Waving goodbye to shadows
The end has come
Blowing kisses on the wind
Finality penned
In soon forgotten ink
Too many sorrys
From these lips
Eternal frowns
Curving end of days
Nothing lasts
Finding one word
Can change everything
As the "and" is now gone
between
You
Me
Stephan Sep 2016
.

On those dire days

when your smile

has abandoned you and worry walks
in your shadow

I will also be walking, but by your side

with one

only for you
Compact Poem Series
Stephan Jul 2016


Simple reminders of conscious belief
Filter my mind with the moon’s silver glow
Satisfied truths sent to spell my relief
All that my beating heart now needs to know

Sensual visions to capture the feel
Bringing the contours of wind sculpted plains
Temptations cry out for all that is real
Filling the void that I now can explain

Cloudless these evenings of star sprinkled mist
Shimmering soft on the eclipse of love
Delicious the thoughts of your warm tender kiss
Found in these endless illusions above

Memories harbor the times that we’ve lived
Photograph remnants of places once shared
Telling the story of all it can give
Building the dreams now worth capturing there

Still we are standing alone on this eve
Counting the points of the bright scattered light
Dreams can come true if we only believe
Whispering prayers on this warm summer’s night

Hear my desires a float on the breeze
Finding their way to the one I adore
Listen, my love, for I hope but to please
Biding the time till you’re with me once more

All that I ask shall be all that I need
Merely the chance I may prove ever true
You are my life and in that I believe
Eternal my love will be only for you
Stephan Sep 2016
~

While fireflies wrote

a love poem
on the evening sky

your kiss
wrote one

on my heart
I am going to try something new. I will call these little poems my Compact Poem Series. I hope you enjoy these when you see them because I am really enjoying writing them.
Stephan Sep 2016

I watch the sunset fade
beneath angry wintered seas
cresting furiously,
drowning possibilities
of another moonlit night
washing up on this
frostbitten shoreline

Fading reflections falter
atop a jet stream,
coerced from below,
chilled from above,
willing feats of great wandering
as sleet licks old wounds
and footprints
become yesterday puddles
of journeys ending

Castaways cling to ancient dreams,
their treasures sinking deeper
in the murky silt,
while I brace against a frigid wind,
traversing drifting dunes
and snow fence barriers,
heading towards the light

A lone flickering candle
left in the bay window,
the flame, a signal
that your love still awaits,
and my heart warms
as I approach the beauty
I have so longed,
on the other side of
a blue weathered door…
Stephan Aug 2016


I found the sunrise in your eyes,
tiny dew drops in your kiss
Upon bright Lantana skies
on a morning just like this

Now I look within my mind
and the scene I long to see
On this new day that I find
is that you are here with me
Stephan Aug 2016


Sun kissed,
this distant land
Uncharted waters drift on whispers
of solitude wishes

Soaring high,
like souls afloat on summer breezes,
my mind wafts in the beauty
that only appears in desired dreams

For as my heart does fly
on wings of mystic endeavors
and the planets align in curved formation,
this, my eternal love, seeks only her
Stephan Jul 2016


If I were there I would caress your heart
with the thread of a silken cocoon
Stitched now as one on the eve of the weary,
bound by the light of the moon
Careful to touch oh so soft as a feather,
gentle as spider web tears
Keeping you close on the edge of the tomorrow,
shielding your soul from the fears

Dew drop beliefs on the lawn they are waiting,
prisms of lighthearted scenes
Dandelion clouds offer sweet pea protection,
dragonflies float in between
Watching as breezes of painted day whispers
on kite strings of warm summer fire
Sing with the echoes, repeating their sonnet,
offering all you desire

Though all I have is a poet’s conviction,
spilled now in ink penned to share
Hoping on dreams you will rest in the sunrise,
find a few moments to spare
Taking the hand of this forgotten hero,
trusting in him ever true
Open your eyes for a new day is dawning,
written with love just for you
Stephan May 2016
.

Driving by,
lost on a side street
directly in the middle
of where I never wanted to be

Clamoring at the expectations
strewn along the curb
between the broken dishwasher
and empty beer cans

Where neighborhood gnomes
painted gaily colors
wave as if they know me,
but I ignore them – sort of

There is one though
with a hollow bookish smile
that seems familiar
or is it the tulips

A wooden staircase,
worn planks in a grey stain
lead to an entrance where an ornate
metal light fixture sways in the breeze

Your porch used to look like that
but this door is standing open
behind a welcome mat with a clover,
wish I hadn’t lost that rabbit’s foot

Maybe I am lucky after all,
just found a spot with ten minutes
remaining on the meter, forget it,
it took me fifteen minutes to park

The empty passenger seat
still holds your form,
at least I can see it -
Corinthian leather never forgets

A speed bump at 40 mph
rattles me back behind the wheel
when I see the bank clock flashes 5:00 pm,
still offering a free toaster

And that’s it, another Sunday afternoon
wasted as much as I am,
spinning my wheels
with just enough gas to get back home,

alone
Stephan Sep 2016
.

With a brilliant moonbeam

as our spotlight
and the stars our audience

we kissed passionately

listening as our
heartbeats became

our applause
Compact Poem Series
Stephan Jun 2016
.

I was going to write a poem
but I just ran out of ink
I had the stanzas lined up nice,
I know I did, I think

It said how much I loved her,
and that she had gone away
Rhymes about my broken heart,
how it was here to stay

One verse filled with crying,
those endless falling tears
While hiding neath the covers
afraid to face my fears

Another said I miss her,
my days had all turned gray
There was no sun, there was no moon,
just sadness on display

I mentioned how I need her,
life will never be the same
Saying I was sorry,
that I knew I was to blame

My entire world is empty
and I couldn’t take much more
She’d always be my every thing,
the one I would adore

I really hoped to write it,
though I know she’d never see
These feelings that I’d write about
so deep inside of me

So now I’ll just forget it,
nothing else to do, I think
Except to sit here with my pen
that’s just run out of ink
Stephan Jun 2016


What is it about poetry
that so consumes you
Brings you to your knees,
cowering in a corner
of your own delusions
Reading in between the lines,
finding what is not really there
Dropping hints of absurd defiance,
collecting spoonful after spoonful
of puzzled meanings and chaliced dreams

Flowing symbolisms, metaphoric landscapes -
Where bushes are bluebirds
and sidewalks - bridges of no return

Why do you reach
into your pocket, searching for love
on white paper folded into a square,
when all along it faces you -
not in ink, but in smiles
expressing exactly what is felt
No boundaries or disguised emotions
penned in rhythmic sequence,
only true love, standing on this sidewalk -
which is only a sidewalk

What is it about poetry
that so consumes you,
when love is waiting – just outside the lines
Stephan May 2016
.

*I opened the rusted iron gateway
bound in chain and wire, to find a landing
caked in muddied footprints, scattered about like roaches
Magpie shadows course the rain soaked streets
and puddle patterns reflect temptation as light flickers
from second floor moan filled parlors, painted nails scratching

Navigating the fog entrenched alley, garbage bins fallen
create a maze of skinned shins and bloodied lips
when I come to an arched opening, only hinges remain
The staircase up is dark, creaking under my weight
I count the holes collected in plaster walls yawning,
prior frustrations showing no mercy

The stench of tar and factory waste wallows,
catching me stumbling through the opening to the roof,
gasping in the ever thinning air
Dark clouds retaliate for earlier lost days
when stale bread pudding was a treat
served to those of less fortunate standing

What life is this to lead anyway, empty pockets
and hand me down promises, watching shadows below
taking chances and knocking up opportunities
Red door, black door, be careful which you choose,
for one color leads to the lower city,
the underground where ***** flows like crazed sewage

The other holds within ****** fantasies
and red lipstick smudges,
but beware when jiggling those tarnished handles
with your best foolish grin,
the cost is what you can't afford to lose

Swine roam the busy square freely,
splurging on last night’s tossed garbage,
grunting approval in an off key symphony
of stringless digestion, slobering regurgitation
beyond the blinded eyes of the others
lost indefinitely within themselves

Street lamps spit hot oil through fractured glass
dripping onto the formal evening wear
and diamond brooches worn by the elite,
making their way to the opera house where marble steps
are lined with evergreen topiaries
losing needles to the addicts of the night

A carriage passes, glazed eyes peer from lace curtains,
hidden hands roam freely the velvet seats and occupants,
as painted wheels follow ruts in the worn cobblestone
Smoke spews from stained brick chimneys and cracking mortar
discoloring the moon and choking stars
with a filth to be reckoned with

I sit on this rooftop alone, looking down,
scarred legs dangling over the edge four flights up,
wondering if anyone would care if I jumped
When startled by a noise behind me, footsteps perhaps
I turn to see the beautiful silhouette of a woman, flowing hair,
hand extended, "I would," she whispers...
Stephan Jul 2016
.

Skiing on snow
that is made out of pepper
Dodging and weaving
though there are no trees
Taking a turn
that is straight as an arrow
Hitting the ground
always causes a sneeze
Feeling the cold
even though it is summer
Sliding much faster
than what I had thought
Nearing the bottom
where dinner is waiting
I’ve got the snow,
can you pass me the salt

please
I know, dumb, but it was fun to write
Stephan Jun 2016
.

Pressing patterns patiently protecting priceless pillowed pleats
Proudly pasting photographs of proper preening parakeets
Pushing plastic pinwheels past the park where purple peacocks played
Panoramic pixies practice prancing down the promenade

Paying people for providing pizzas to pentathelets
Picking peppers privately, politely pleasing prom petites
Painting pulpits perfectly in places preaching pastors prayed
Posting pretty poetry on paper pages on parade
Just having some fun on a Friday.
Stephan Aug 2016
.

Tending to my fruit stand,
another lonely day
Hoping for a customer
to happen ‘long the way

When then I saw approaching
a funny colored van
It pulled off on the shoulder,
I wondered of its plan

The back doors slowly opened
and there before my eyes
Stood a gorgeous woman
beneath these sunny skies

Her eyes were soft and sable
with hair a darker hue
She smiled and said hello to me
I said, “How do you do?”

She stood before my table,
I couldn’t help but stare
First she touched an apple,
then she touched a pear

Suddenly she shouted,
for now her hand did reach
Excitedly she questioned
“Please may I have a peach?”

All I could do was stutter,
as I could barely breathe
She took a bite and then exclaimed
“The sweetest I believe”

Then she grabbed a couple,
and walking to her van
Sat upon the rear end sill,
then patted with her hand

I stumbled there to join her,
she handed one to me
“I just adore your peaches”
“Yes ma’am, that I can see”

I sat there with her eating
and maybe I am dumb
But juice was dripping from her lip,
I brushed it with my thumb

This seemed to make her happy,
her beauty such a view
Then I could not believe my ears,
She asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Well, forget what I said earlier
the “dumb” part wasn’t right
I pressed my lips against hers
and held them there real tight

They were sweet and sticky,
delicious like the fruit
Then we separated,
she grinned and said, “You’re cute”

“I really think I love you
and will forever true”

I felt my heart just skip a beat,
“Yes ma’am, I love you too”

“I just adore your peaches,
they’re the best in all the land”

We kissed again, this time good bye,
she climbed into her van

I watched as she departed,
standing on the curb
Thinking of her kisses
and the last thing that I heard

Then felt kind of lousy
this pristine summer day
Not for what had happened,
but what I did not say

I didn’t have the heart to tell
this woman of my dreams
The fruits this day that she enjoyed
were really nectarines
Stephan Aug 2016


Yes, it’s a poem no matter who reads it,
worded conclusions one line at a time
Splattering ink on the pages of reason,
whether or not you can sense any rhyme

Searching my dreams for the perfect notation,
picking and choosing what I hope she sees
Gathering leaves of our tomorrow seasons,
falling to earth on the breath of a breeze

Echoes I’ve whispered in words used so often,
carved in the essence a float in my mind
Wandering footsteps through valleys of wishes,
happy endeavors in phrases I find

Till comes the day when she sits here beside me,
sharing the beauty her smile does inspire
And of the views framing skies of forever,
promising visions of windswept desire

I write these verses of heart felt emotions,
all of them true in the fashion I send
For very soon I’ll be rounding the corner,
penning her poetic love once again
Stephan Jul 2016
.

I coined a phrase  
the other day
but didn’t have enough
change left over
to buy a cheap pen
to write it down
Stephan May 2016
Sweet magnolia kisses
in the shadows of the day
Petals of desire
flowing soft upon the breeze

Scented of affection
in this magical display
Surrounded by your beauty
as we lay beneath the trees

Listening to a bluebird
so melodic is its sound
Harmonies of springtime
soaring skies of velvet blue

Lost within the moment
in this solitude we've found
Dreaming of forever
on a perfect day with you
Stephan Apr 2016
Why are you always so little,
running around kicking shins,
then hiding inside a cookie jar
swearing the crumbs are talking about you
in bittersweet morsels
wiped from hands
stealing all that is sweet in your life?
Stephan Aug 2016
.

Poetry is my insanity,
sparks collected in closed eyes,
frantic phrases falling
in a spectrum’s pulsating palette,
picturing icicle webs
and chromatic landscapes
blurring in the distance

Dancing to the sounds
of brain cells singing
rhythmic compositions,
ringing constantly
in between hours of
counted pendulum swings
on fingers and toes

Pulling on my heart,
squeezing every last thought
oozing in blacklight ink
and day-glo sunrises
of fruit cup offerings
and psychedelic posters,
depicting moons
fluttering in crayon heavens
driving me crazy
in the best possible way
Stephan Jul 2016

They have feelings,
They experience pain
They love deeply
They cry often
They laugh loudly
They know happiness
and they know sorrow
They express emotions
They get stressed
They relax
They have hearts
and those hearts break at times
They dream
and they imagine
They worry
They help
They wish
They ask
and they tell
They create
They design
They work
and they play
They think
They learn
They hurt
They smile
But most of all
they pour their souls out in their poetry
just hoping someone, anyone will read*

Poets are people too
Stephan Apr 2016
I can clearly see the anger in your eyes,
hear it loudly in your voice,
taste it strongly in your bitterness,
feel it immensely in your actions,
sense it definitely in your disposition,
and I don't even know you,

now that’s power
Stephan May 2016
.

Love

Why is it that the faster I run towards it
the further away it seems


Love

Am I destined for shadows,
empty masses of luring movements
hiding behind me,
disappearing each time I turn,
fading on a cloudy day
forever just out of reach

            (Your's is the smile
Love
            that makes my smile smile)

Why is my puzzle always missing
that one perfectly fitting piece
that creates a beautiful picture
of a country landscape, an ocean scene at night,
or a heart that is complete,
leaving a gap in my happiness

            (Why can't you see
Love
            it was always you and me)

The last page of a mystery thriller
torn out by the desire to know,
ripped from its binding,
jagged paper edges seeking
a conclusion that doesn’t come from
reading between the lines

            (Every time I wait
Love
            it always is too late)

I sat in a garden
on a beautiful spring day
pulling petals off of a forget-me-not
just hoping she loves me
I should have known the cycle would end with
“me not”

            (I just want to love you
Love
            to show you that it's true)

Maybe if I write it enough times
Maybe if I were a glazed donut
Maybe if I were a fresh cup of coffee on a Sunday morning
Maybe if I were a cocker spaniel puppy
Maybe if I was a soft comfortable pillow
Maybe if I were a poet

Love

Probably not
Stephan May 2016
.

Whining, it happens when blizzards come calling
Grabbing a jacket I walk down the stairs
Beside the window where winter is lurking
Waiting about as if nobody cares

Coating the trees with a cottony fabric
Not quite as warm as the heater detects
Here in the handbook of problems and answers
Only for masters to come and inspect

Grabbing a scarf from a shelf in the corner
Pouring a cup just to dance in its steam
Maybe some sugar so life can be sweeter
And just a dash of your half and half cream

Kicking the mud from the boots made of rubber
Purchased on sale at a shop on the beach
Next to the flip flops and lotion dispenser
Low to the ground and so easy to reach

Those were the days when the sun wasn’t hidden
Blanketed white like a sheet on a rope
Held up by clothespins of wooden construction
Seeking a breeze with the fresh scent of soap

Shoveling sidewalks and not chasing seashells
Feeling the cold as it bites through your skin
Running a faucet to thaw every finger
When will it be time for all this to end

I guess I will go out and trudge through the weather
Deal with the snowflakes, the slush and the sleet
Before too long I’ll be sweating the summer
Probably whining about all the heat
Stephan Jul 2016
Promises in a burlap bag
slung over your shoulder
offering three for dollar
(I've already heard it twice before)
Maybe this time I will be lucky

I found a penny heads up,
but didn't have the sense to pick it up


Still an echo spins atop a broken record
repeating the same chorus
no matter what song is playing
that all are tired of hearing by now

Oldies but goodies are just as bad
as the first time you heard them


Spinning yarns
in coloful fabric weaves,
braided possibilities that never
seem to shrink in the wash

The button for gentle cycle
broke a long time ago


But there is always that chance
when we lean on words
hoping they support the message
delivered once again

*Chances are like matches,
using the last one is always bad luck
Stephan May 2016
.

Passages trail the utter existence
along brick faced wanderings
with puddles reflecting death
in the vast wasteland that calls
from bled out dreams

I listen to the footsteps,
eager to please, left by the curb
beneath graffiti warnings
in spray painted quotes
dripping with ease and intent

Their cadence sends
splashing ripples onto
nicely pressed slacks,
collecting glares from bus stop loafers
with exact change and nowhere to go

As I find my existence
fading in the far back seat,
staring out of a smeared rear window,
exhaust fumes wave good bye
to the nothing I have become
Stephan Jun 2016
.

I punched the sun
and burnt my hands,
they blistered ‘fore my eyes

Because I want
just cloudy days
to fill my sorrowed skies

I used to like
the daylight hours
before she went away

Now I just can’t
accept the sun,
I want a cloudy day

And evening
doesn't help at all,
if it is coming near

Because I know
there’ll be a moon
upon the heavens clear

So I’ll keep punching
at the sun
with burns upon my skin

Until I can’t
fight anymore
or clouds return again
Stephan Jun 2016


Woven secrets
on silken sheets
whisper softly,
lingering atop
the quilted desires
of our love
Stephan Oct 2016


Here in this place where I once played,
midst memories now cast aside
The clouds my worthless life has made,
rain down in teardrops I have cried
Thank you to all of my friends here who have supported and encouraged me. I appreciate each and every one of you.  I hope I have shown you the same kindness you have always shown me. This will be my last for while, I need some time to figure out who I am and how I became that person. Thanks again.
Stephan Aug 2016


Mountain top wishes in echoing fashion
Whispers in sonnets afloat on the sky
Soothing this emptiness fraught with distraction
Sifting through clouded views wandering by

Northern horizons in tangerine ribbons
Sing in a melody sweet to the ears
Heavenly callings from far away places
Wrapping my shoulders and calming my fears

Painting a landscape of pure understanding
Inside the dark fades a much softer hue
Nature reduced to its tiniest fragments
Illumined, the feelings I hold here for you

Narrow the tree line of dreams comes to offer
Shadows beneath every beckoning star
Finding a moonbeam aglow in its wisdom
Reaching for love now where ever you are
Stephan May 2016
.

*Where is the sun
as I walked through the valley
Clouds seem to follow
where ever I go
Hidden behind every dream
Warmed of promise
Now broken hearted
I’m covered in snow

Spring disappeared
like my smile in the garden
Dissolved in the floating
grey mist of the sky
Fall left its mark
in its teardrop leaves falling
Colorful memories
drowned as I cry

Summer, my hope
ran away like my shadow
Left me alone
in the heat of the day
Searching for love
on a beach way too crowded
Realizing winter
was here to stay
Stephan May 2016
.

“Sadness does not come from the falling rain,
but joy from the ability to feel it”



The rain is cold this early dawn
when morning appears in overcast vistas
dampening pathways of mud
gathering my footprints
that happily walk towards you
and the sunny days that wait
in your loving arms,
regardless of the weather
Stephan Apr 2016
Beware the shadows that harbor the fear
Wearing a smile to entice
Bringing a storm to the lingering clear
More than enough to suffice

Coloring clouds in an off center shade
Planning apart the disguise
All that will glisten, the edge of their blade
Steel once embedded the skies

Preying the fool on your worries does rest
Hands over eyes now the view
Changing the truth into lies is the quest
Oh its so easy to do

Words made of candy to sweeten the pain
Sugar attracting your stare
Waving good bye to the few who remain
Brother and sister beware
Stephan Aug 2016
.

When dark clouds collide and
thunder erupts on shaken stares,
rains fall in unrelenting sorrows
along bramble thorn threads,
screaming leaves crash
into a frozen ground
of broken branches
and disgraced smiles,

as cardboard condos
dot the litter strewn landscape
and graffiti drips
in tobacco stained puddles
at the feet of those
standing in an endless line
for bits and scraps
of the life they once knew,

while sons and daughters
face the monsters drugged
by beliefs conjured
on sand blasted battlefields
and bibles of their own deciphering,
bridging the elongated gaps
between lies and promises by those
disguised in designer pantsuits
with fingers crossed
behind their backs

and children have secrets ******
upon them through filthy fingernails
hiding under bed frames
of rusted iron and disgusting touches,
silenced by the horror
of squeaking hinges
and foot steps in the hall,
crying for mothers who don’t believe,

the tears of a poet will be revealed,
bleeding through the page
Stephan Aug 2016

Violets sing
in the sweet fragrance
of your smile

Their beauty
enriched by
the perfect blossom
that is you

Scented illusions
float on whispered
winds carrying silent
wishes of love to
my heart

As I sit here in awe
of everything
that is you,
blooming right
before my eyes
Stephan May 2016
.

Here in the pit of a sanctified cavern
Vacancy fills every pore of my soul
Grasping at walls made of stone, cut and jagged
Tearing my flesh as my fingers inscroll
Carving a poem of granite intentions
Phrases of love fall as dust to the floor
Evidence trailing in breaths hardly reasoned
Nothing to rhyme as I lose so much more
Drowning in questions while heavens are bleeding
Puddles of crimson abound at my feet
Shoveling dreams in a creviced delusion
Sunk in the mud till I can not retreat
Loneliness shouts in the stillness demeaning
Echoing chambers deplete in my heart
Calling my name which I now have forgotten
Ripping my sanity cleanly apart
Clutching my hands of the blisters now forming
Pain wreaks its havoc beneath severed skin
This is my fate, an abyss never fading
Bring on the end for I’m lost once again
Stephan Sep 2018
You look beneath each unturned stone
where four leaf clover shrouds the path
To wonder, thinking all alone,
what brought about this aftermath

As daisies clamor ‘bout the field
and dragonflies abandon hope
When orchards passing off their yield
will find it hard to even cope

Lest not a day of future themes
reflect this distance you now feel
For merely but a stack of dreams,
horizon’s light may soon reveal

So take this orchid from its stem,
a small reminder of the past
And question not who follows them
but cherish every foot step cast

Come hold your head up to the sky
as banners wave and bluebirds sing
Extend your hand to passers by,
much more than just a thoughtful thing

For life is but a fleeting friend
not here for very long at all
It’s up to you to just transcend
and rise above before the fall
Stephan May 2016
.

I feel like I’m running on ice,
a slippery surface confines me
in frozen dreams facing a desolate future
My legs move constantly, my muscles endlessly,
my thoughts mindlessly and still I get nowhere
I’m stuck right here where you left me
Wearing out fast, holding on to anything
to keep myself upright, to keep from falling,
to keep from crashing through

I’m trying, I swear I’m trying,
I just can’t seem to break it, to break free
I have good moments, a few I’ll admit
but they don’t last long, not long at all
I always slip right back into this place,
this empty, cold, lonely place
that to be honest,
I can’t bear the thought of leaving
because if I leave, I know it will be the end

I don’t want it to end
Stephan Jun 2016


Bright as the midsummer stars on the sky
Your love illumines my way
Soft as a candle flame flickers the eye
Enchantment so warm on display

Moonbeams now glisten the path to your heart
Shimmering sweet on the air
Even these moments which find us apart
Sparkling gleams we will share

When in the darkness I find I’m alone
Searching for merely a trace
I see a beacon to come bring me home
Lit by the smile on your face

Take me and lead me, I walk in your light
Sent down to me from above
Held in your arms where I know all is right
Safe in the glow of your love
Stephan Jun 2016


You are the glow as I crawl through the darkness,
lighting my way so these eyes they can see
A soft woolen blanket when winter is reaching,
wrapping the warmth of your arms around me

You are the shelter when storms fill the heavens,
keeping me dry as each raindrop does fall
A calming voice that I hear in the distance,
when every sorrow about me does call

You are the strength as my knees slowly weaken,
lifting me up when I’ve nothing to give
The precious life as I feel I am dying,
giving me hope when I don’t want to live

You are my world, every day I am facing,
showing me love is a beautiful view
All that I wish is whenever you need me,
I will be all of these same things for you
Stephan May 2016
.

*His words,
once a celebration of love,
poetic affection,
written from the deepest
part of his heart
for her,

are now
nothing more than
creased and torn
pages of empty verses
shoved in the back pocket
of his worn out jeans

Ink bleeding between
the lines of a man
who believed he mattered,
only to find that he is
as insignificant
as his writings,

a forgotten poet,
a dried up pen in hand,
scratching sad poetry
on a lonely sidewalk
between the cracks of his life,
etchings of who he once was
Stephan Aug 2016
.

Why is it that when I ***** up,
someone above me always seems
to be ******* down?
Stephan May 2016
.

*A midnight wave of shimmered light
caresses soft this slumbered shore
Of moonbeam whispers on the night
in ocean scenes and moments pure

To find upon this beach we lie
our glistened skin in stardust gleam
Beneath a diamond dusted sky
alone amidst a seafoam dream
Stephan Aug 2016


Scaled heights
Volcanic desires
Downward gaze
Sultry peaks
Lush valley
Serpentine streams
Moistened access
Subterranean delight
Torrid cavern
Burning lips
Fiery eruptions
Bloodied nails
Scarred shoulders
Pleasurable pain
Names echoed
Seismic lava
Scorched earth
Ecstasy’s embers
Flowing passions
Searing nights
Breathless mornings
Stephan Sep 2016
.

What the hell is wrong with me,
where does this circus come from
Three rings that seem to open new tents in my mind
Dark tents filled with wild and dangerous thoughts,
pacing in a cage, waiting to be released
Yeah, you just try and make me
jump through one of those fiery hoops,
see where your head ends up and where
that whip is shoved

Sawdust everywhere as I parade around
Fluffing my feathers, thinking I know,
Proud ain’t even close to how I feel
as I swing from the trapeze,
sequins glistening,
looking for the meaning, the why
I keep asking why…why as I once again
light the fuse with cotton candy fingers,
shot from a cannon, screaming,
there is no net, not for me, not for these thoughts

Open this door and let me out,
I’m stuffed in this little car
with a bunch of clowns, painted on smiles
big floppy shoes and ****, they are all me
(Send in the clowns, I hate that song)
and I hate these thoughts
Juggled about, like so many *****
flying through the air, never touching the ground
and there they are, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
children of all ages, staring, laughing, pointing,
shoveling popcorn in their faces
then running in fear as these thoughts
escape confinement once again

Don’t you get it, can’t you see,
this is real, this is me
I love, I love deeply, I can’t guess your weight
but I can feel you rummaging for tickets
in my heart and all I have is for you
Free admission, stop by the petting zoo,
Share a branch with a giraffe, share
Share, wow, maybe that’s it,
maybe that’s why I smile
when the tents come down
heading for another place

another town

another time

send out the clowns
Stephan Sep 2016


Twilight serenades a distant horizon
in sweet echoed harmonies,
swept softly on a cool breeze
of September’s final whispers
across an autumn watercolor sky
singing I love you…

hoping to find your heart
Stephan Jun 2016


The darkness comes
on a sunlit day, reaching with its hand
of little comfort or warmth
Shadowing the promises
of ribbon shaped clouds
floating silently in harmony
with my heartbeat

My mind drifts softly
through this high rise window
slowly streaked in sadness
but transparent so that I may see
into the fabric of my memories,
desperately fighting the fears
as a slight smile forms

Collecting teardrops,
so many shed, flowing anguish
embedded of a loss
outlining the cracks in my heart
etched in tomorrows
now lost to yesterdays
when today I miss you again
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