.

He sat across the table behind a crystal ball,
wearing a weird hat that looked like the roof
of the Taj Mahal, dark rhinestone encrusted glasses
and a colorful suit straight off of the
Sgt. Pepper album cover
The patchouli incense was a nice touch but
not necessary, at least for me

“What do you see in my future?” I asked
He thought for a moment
then hummed some strange melody,
(I think it was a Taylor Swift song)
before saying, “I can not see your future,
I can only see what will happen ahead.
Your future is behind you now,
it is out of my hands.”

“I don’t understand?” I questioned
thinking to myself I have definitely
been ripped off this time, twenty bucks
down the drain
“How could you let her go?” he queried
staring intently into the glass orb
“She was your future, your everything.
She made you what you were,
brought out the best in you
and you let her go, you gave up your future.”

That hurt…it hit me hard as I felt
tears well up in my eyes at the thought of her,
of us and then my sadness became anger
as I shouted at him, “What gives you the right
to say these things to me?”
With that he removed his hat and glasses
and I felt a wave of anxiety grip me.
“Because I am you,” he said staring at me now
and not that ****** ball

A lump the size of Everest grew in my throat,
it was me, he was me
as I nervously asked, “Is there any hope for happiness
in what will happen ahead then?”
Staring at myself I waited for the answer
which I already knew…then we spoke in unison,
“No, there is not.”

.

Beyond the border of withering dreams,
blue skies and ribbons played as
poolside wishes slept in the cabana

Winter followed the guards
while north of here braced for another
stranger to walk through the gate

Beauty sat on the rim waiting for
dark features of sun tanned wisdom
to sing sonnets of warmer climates

But the intense glare of a protective sun
blinded her ability to see as her pina colada
melted and ice formed in her eyes

Nothing left now but a shadow walking
beneath the umbrella shading her fading smile
as summer came and went without even a wink

.

Your ink,
sadly spilling
on fresh tablecloths
with torn lace trim
beyond paper napkins
absorbing the smiles
you should be smiling

Darkened tear drops
drenching emotions,
free flowing sorrows
collected in fractured phrases,
penned stanzas now
erasing happiness
in dull pink smudges

When just outside
the sun sits behind heavy drapes
drawn tightly closed
on panoramic picture windows
waiting to frame the beauty
of spring for your eyes
in nature’s poetry

So open them,
(your eyes and the drapes)
behold the wonder
where small children play
and laughter scents the air
allowing light to enter that ink,
your ink

.

Where will the circus fall,
leaving giraffes homeless,
as pitched tents get pitched
and sideshow freaks
become the norm,
guessing someone’s weight
who doesn’t care

When the sun sets
tablecloth desires
on a silverware runway
with dishes made of gold
and wine glasses half full
are spilled in sad regrets

Will I walk alone
on a cobblestone road,
counting windows without shades
laced with flat screen televisions
tuned to the wrong channel,
reruns in Technicolor

Broadcasting seeded visions
in open fields of tall grass
when Eric Burdon sang
and cherry trees once stood
producing the fruit
of a past I no longer
want to see

Where will the circus fall,
where will I fall

.

Pacing backstage like a bull in the batter
Thrashing about as if china exists
Driven to drink by some wine on a platter
Blowing off steam for he could not resist

Snorting a scene when the lines are recited
Reading the script just a few seconds more
Up with the curtain by hands so excited
Wishing the winter had closed every door

Shoveling snow in a thong made of paper
Counting the flakes that attended his show
In the front row as the smiles did taper
Sat an old woman he knew long ago

She held a bag printed green with a flower
Wore her hair up and her underwear down
Gazed up at him as if she held the power
Reached in her satchel and pulled out a crown

Glistening gold trimmed in jewelry gleaming
Something indeed that was fit for a king
Pinching his skin just in case he was dreaming
Thinking it must be the silliest thing

Low went the lights with the audience hushing
Now was his time as he stood on the mark
Hoping that nobody noticed him blushing
The brightest of red in the darkest of dark

Then as he spoke in an accent so fitting
Words written out by some dude named Shakespeare
Looked to his feet where the crown was now sitting
An inscription inside “For a lousy King Lear”

He searched for the woman and noticed her leaving
Screaming out loud, “What’s the meaning of this?”
When she looked back, now his eyes not believing
She wore his face as she blew him a kiss

Had he gone mad as the world became hazy
Spinning in place, royalty gone insane
“Give me your praises,” he shouted like crazy
“Tell me you love me and tell me your name”

“I’m called Cordelia and I far from love you
Your acting *****, you’ve no talent at all
I’ll give you no praise, no that’s something I won’t do”
And there she stood as the curtain did fall

She started to laugh as the sirens were blaring
They carted him off on a stretcher of gold
To the asylum with everyone staring
Tossing the tickets that they had been sold

Then out of nowhere the crowd started cheering
She took his stage, now her kingdom, she swore
Taking a bow, the applause so endearing
She had no choice but to give an encore

.

*What ever happened to fairy tale endings
When did the sun bring the cold winter chill
Why are kind gesturers an act of  pretending
How did our heartbeats become ever still

Where is the joy that we found ourselves sharing
Happiness falling on much darker days
Meadows of flowers now weeds never caring
Blue skies are hidden behind sorrowed haze

Dreams slowly scattered on desolate oceans
Washed up on shore as the sandcastles die
Tossed overboard with the weakest emotions
Salt coated tears the horizon does cry

Once perfect mornings now afternoon weary
Gazing on edges cut sharp by the storm
Forecasts are sent in a poem that’s dreary
Standing afraid as the thunderclouds form

Hiding our eyes behind last April’s fashion
No cotton fabric for sale on the rack
Finding that drab is our lone source of passion
Marked down for clearance way out in the back

When did we give up on promises pending
Taking a place after push comes to shove
What ever happened to fairy tale endings
What ever happened to forever love

.

*Music written to
the sound of the rain,
patters of notes upon
slick windowpanes
mesmerizing a day
of reminiscence,
when two hearts
danced between
the steady drizzle

Drenched in the key
of lost moments
playing over and over
in the saturated symphonies
of my mind’s
harmonic sadness
un-tuned melodies echo
through puddles collected
within a cappella fingers

.

Words from perforated ceiling tiles squawk
as megaphone filters blare
in crackled sequence
around missing stations
and call letters that aren’t acronyms

I hear these words, but shake my head
I know they are for me,
sent by well wishing advisors
wearing t-shirts imprinted
“I’m with stupid”

(and the arrows point at me)

Still I don’t heed the warnings,
I can’t, for dreams require reaching,
top shelf visions waving with
hope filled coupons
offering no discount for the heart

“Don’t want what you can not have,” they shout
As I continue to climb the frozen escalator,
cleaning my shoes on the bristles,
then checking my appearance in the sunglass
reflection of a mannequin missing one arm

(and I feel happy for this plastic person)

For it has no idea how it feels
to be out of style, yesterday’s sleeves
Worn of worried first impressions,
heart beat delusions and needs
at the end of the line…to check out

and yet, until the time comes for me to “check out”
I will not give up on that dream, regardless of
invisible sales clerks on their eternal breaks,
because I will reach that register and I will ask that question
to which she just might say yes,

(and then who will be wearing the t-shirt)

.

*I opened the rusted iron gateway
bound in chain and wire, to find a landing
caked in muddied footprints, scattered about like roaches
Magpie shadows course the rain soaked streets
and puddle patterns reflect temptation as light flickers
from second floor moan filled parlors, painted nails scratching

Navigating the fog entrenched alley, garbage bins fallen
create a maze of skinned shins and bloodied lips
when I come to an arched opening, only hinges remain
The staircase up is dark, creaking under my weight
I count the holes collected in plaster walls yawning,
prior frustrations showing no mercy

The stench of tar and factory waste wallows,
catching me stumbling through the opening to the roof,
gasping in the ever thinning air
Dark clouds retaliate for earlier lost days
when stale bread pudding was a treat
served to those of less fortunate standing

What life is this to lead anyway, empty pockets
and hand me down promises, watching shadows below
taking chances and knocking up opportunities
Red door, black door, be careful which you choose,
for one color leads to the lower city,
the underground where ***** flows like crazed sewage

The other holds within ****** fantasies
and red lipstick smudges,
but beware when jiggling those tarnished handles
with your best foolish grin,
the cost is what you can't afford to lose

Swine roam the busy square freely,
splurging on last night’s tossed garbage,
grunting approval in an off key symphony
of stringless digestion, slobering regurgitation
beyond the blinded eyes of the others
lost indefinitely within themselves

Street lamps spit hot oil through fractured glass
dripping onto the formal evening wear
and diamond brooches worn by the elite,
making their way to the opera house where marble steps
are lined with evergreen topiaries
losing needles to the addicts of the night

A carriage passes, glazed eyes peer from lace curtains,
hidden hands roam freely the velvet seats and occupants,
as painted wheels follow ruts in the worn cobblestone
Smoke spews from stained brick chimneys and cracking mortar
discoloring the moon and choking stars
with a filth to be reckoned with

I sit on this rooftop alone, looking down,
scarred legs dangling over the edge four flights up,
wondering if anyone would care if I jumped
When startled by a noise behind me, footsteps perhaps
I turn to see the beautiful silhouette of a woman, flowing hair,
hand extended, "I would," she whispers...

.

*I have written a dozen messages now
(probably more, no definitely more)
I word each one as carefully as I can,
telling you how much I miss you,
how lonely my days have been,
how I am doing ok (not really)
and I hope you are too,  
only to get to the bottom, the final line,
and typing out, I...well you know,
then stare at the screen and
think about it for a few minutes
before hitting delete…

wishing each time I did
it was me that disappeared

.

Laundry detergent
and love, broken hearted
Dark nights and witches
and dearly departed

Death in the front yard
with bright flowers blooming
Winter and summer,
all seasons are looming

Fireflies, evergreens,
balloons colored yellow
A beautiful woman,
an old grouchy fellow

The sun and the moon
and the stars that are shining
Laughter and teardrops,
occasional whining

Sunrises, sunsets,
the beach and the ocean
A walk in the park
or a magical potion

A bird on a fence
or a babe in a cradle
The dish and the spoon
ran away with a ladle?

*** that is sensual,
pain that is hurting
Humor and drama,
some things I am blurting

Long ones and shorts ones
and some in between
A king in a castle
defending his queen

Rhyming and free verse,
it’s endless and mounting
Ten words or haiku
and syllable counting

Written out stanzas
of how we are feeling
Even an orange
that someone is peeling

Riding a horse
or just crossing a river
Feathers and leaves
and all things that do quiver

So many thoughts
I have found that are waiting
Here on this site
there is no hesitating

To all the poets
with pens always bleeding
Thank you so much
for the poems I’m reading

For all of you
that I get to call friend
Here is a poem for you
I have penned

.

A green park bench
and my shadow

slanted to the field
watching pigeons form a heart shape
among clover and dandelion

seeding my thoughts
on a steady breeze

lovers walk holding hands
swinging arms and bracelets
happy go lucky feet
flip flops and sneakers

and I toss popcorn
stale but they don’t care
(I didn’t like the movie)
fine feathered friends

A green park bench
still only one shadow
wishing there were two

Pianos cried

Sad, this lonely figure on a gloom ridden street,
head low, looking for diamonds in a dumpster
Chasing dreams in slow moving express lanes,
tracing graffiti on the edges of his skin,
following a blood trail hoping for orange juice

Once upstanding, a real community guy,
a giver, not a taker of sunrise gestures and hot coffee
Tossing an alarm clock no longer needed as
each day was something to look forward to,
slumber happily abandoned for the love of his life

Now duct taped shoes, silver on black scratched soles
worn from pacing in low signal zones, bad areas where hills
and valleys interrupted service, beeps meant voices straining
to hear over the high rise shadows,
while twenty dollars bought enough gas for two days

Fancied himself a poet a long time ago
Phrased emotions in sunny side up stanzas
Mornings and evenings reveled in inked harmonies
as two hearts sung a duet of rhymes in cursive cadence
so song like, pianos cried when left out

The only melodies these days are off key assumptions
stored behind locked doors of closed businesses,
offering desolate concrete steps for liquor bottles
with brown paper bag wrappings and unpaid receipts,
where he finally returns to sleep, to dream about her

.

How many long days,
how many lonely days,
how many silent days
will it take
till I stop checking the clock,

**** it!

.

Without you life has no meaning
A lonely book upon a shelf
Stories held for no one reading
Waiting silent by myself

Pages turned with nothing written
Chapters come without a clue
Words repeat in shades of darkness
Sentences of lonely due

Without you there’s no direction
Empty highways ramble on
Stark and barren roads dividing
Moving constant on my own

Painted lines without an ending
Solitude at every cost
Seeking all but finding nothing
Always on the edge of lost

Without you there is no music
Lyrics sung that do not rhyme
A violin whose strings are missing
Loneliness three quarter time

Melodies in empty function
Concert halls without a stage
Choruses now gone forever
Notes erased upon the page

Without you there is no reason
Nothing but an empty heart
Never beating, always waiting
Longing for a brand new start

Opened wide as you I beckon
Fill my world with wondrous view
It’s true, my life would have no meaning
If my life was without you

.

Passages trail the utter existence
along brick faced wanderings
with puddles reflecting death
in the vast wasteland that calls
from bled out dreams

I listen to the footsteps,
eager to please, left by the curb
beneath graffiti warnings
in spray painted quotes
dripping with ease and intent

Their cadence sends
splashing ripples onto
nicely pressed slacks,
collecting glares from bus stop loafers
with exact change and nowhere to go

As I find my existence
fading in the far back seat,
staring out of a smeared rear window,
exhaust fumes wave good bye
to the nothing I have become

.

*Oh the bliss of heaven’s reaching,
formed upon this fertile ground
Lingering desires touch us,
felt of love we now have found

Morning Glories, gentle weaving
velvet blooms in midday blue
Climbing higher, painted visions,
beauty as I find in you

‘fore the sunrise, silent breathing,
passion dawns within your smile
Strolling ’tween the dew drop wishes
here with you a little while

Morning shines her new beginning,
sweetly we embrace the day
Lost in love and nature’s wisdom,
witnessing her grand display

.

*In this dark, soft, silent sky
where starlight teardrops weep
in moon glow feathered sonnets,
my heart seeks. . .

clinging to every hope,
laced of tiny shimmered dreams
now filtered through weary eyes
and worried sighs

Collecting each moment shared
within my weathered hands, mixed
with the essence of maple
and snow flakes

woven together in northern patterns,
colorful arcs on distant horizons
bidding me a good evening while
riding in on a hovering mist

As another tear paints my cheek
in transparent worry
and desperate longing for that day
when happiness finds you,

for that is my endless wish,
behind tufted clouds of life,
touching me with poetic joy,
allowing me to breathe freely

For here I stand,
eternally gazing upward,
scanning the heavens
for that elusive glistening  

in this dark, soft, silent sky
where starlight teardrops weep
in moon glow feathered sonnets,
as my heart seeks . . . your smile

X

Steel follows steel,
a click clack rhythm in
metronome vibrations lulls nervousness,
counting forgotten miles
in heartbeat pulsations
of desired destinations

Endless tracks hug
winding ways carved through nature
Windows frame new beginnings,
watching mountain peaks
pass by in snow capped splendor
as flashing red lights hold up traffic

Facing forward,
leaving behind what was,
heading north on a one way ticket
to my imagination’s quest,
chasing a dream that hopefully waits
just beyond the next crossing

.
*Longing, you gaze through the curtains
Lost in the moon’s glowing light
Stillness awash in the heavens
A hush on the whispers a’ flight

Promises echoed in stardust
Softly as wind on a wing
Smiles that form in the distance
Thoughts in the quiet now bring

Sighs of each breath ever taken
Affectionate phrases a’ flow
Desires agleam in the darkness
Peaceful horizons now show

Hearing his voice say I love you
Even though you are apart
Knowing this night as you listen
In silence, he speaks to your heart

-
*Lying alone on a mattress of caverns
Pillow sham dreams only cool on one side
Twin fitted sheets in a queen-less adventure
Beneath a blanket of tears drops I hide

Headboard illusions cast vacancy shadows
Along the place where the bed is still made
Unruffled covers are lost in translation
LED numbers past midnight displayed

Caught in the silence so loud it is deafening
Even the moon cranks its volume too high
Shouted my prayer though there won’t be an answer
Folding away endless questions of why

Soon every star in the sky will be leaving
Shimmers will fade without even a care
Space quickly made for a hopeless sun rising
Another morning I won’t find you there

.

*Reaching out,
searching for a touch
in the darkness,
when alarm clocks call
beyond fitted sheets
and flattened pillow nightmares

Measured steps
through open doors,
feed empty hallways
in night light silhouettes
as destined worries
wait in the corners in plain sight

Hoping again
for a sunny day
on a dreary gray morning
finding the coffee hot
though with a bitter taste of despair
sipping between tear drop ripples

This heart
beats so lonely, slowly
my thoughts echo through barren rooms,
returning to my mind
as eyes stare out of
frost glazed windows

at a world
moving about in altered fashion
blind to the pain that washes
down the existence I carve
in silent shadows
longing for only her

.

*Even though I do my best,
you are always right here
by my side gently caressing
my thoughts with wonder,
bringing desires to my mind
in poetic whispers cast upon
the continuous ripples rapidly forming
with every breath I take

Mornings still bring the sunrise
in multicolored shades of how I feel,
reaching for that lost love,
silently floating like indigo dreams
just beyond my grasp
I still want, with every ounce,
every movement, every hope

I am still being told
I long for what I can not have,
that elusive bloom at the peak of the arbor,
honeysuckle beauty washing down upon me,
fragrant reminders of a time before
when your petals gathered at my heart
in a bouquet of nectar scented affection

And try as I like it is of no use,
my mind holds you, desperately dreaming
in echoed wishes and twilight longings
which never seem to end, for I know,
as long as there are sunrises,
honeysuckle breezes and poetry -
there will be you

.

I feel like I’m running on ice,
a slippery surface confines me
in frozen dreams facing a desolate future
My legs move constantly, my muscles endlessly,
my thoughts mindlessly and still I get nowhere
I’m stuck right here where you left me
Wearing out fast, holding on to anything
to keep myself upright, to keep from falling,
to keep from crashing through

I’m trying, I swear I’m trying,
I just can’t seem to break it, to break free
I have good moments, a few I’ll admit
but they don’t last long, not long at all
I always slip right back into this place,
this empty, cold, lonely place
that to be honest,
I can’t bear the thought of leaving
because if I leave, I know it will be the end

I don’t want it to end

.

Do unto others
as you’d have them do
Such an old saying
it’s not something new

Then why do we fight
calling each other names
Pointing our fingers
and casting the blame

Looking for wrong
when there is so much right
Walking in darkness
ignoring the light

Talking behind
somebody else’s back
Laughing at problems
or things that they lack

Making them feel
like they’re nothing at all
Hiding our hands
if they happen to fall

Locking the door
when they’re out in the rain
Wearing a smile
when they’re crying in pain

If we all try
we can turn this around
Open your heart
so the love can be found

It would be easy
you know that it’s true
Do unto others
as you’d have them do

.

Love

Why is it that the faster I run towards it
the further away it seems

Love

Am I destined for shadows,
empty masses of luring movements
hiding behind me,
disappearing each time I turn,
fading on a cloudy day
forever just out of reach

            (Your's is the smile
Love
            that makes my smile smile)

Why is my puzzle always missing
that one perfectly fitting piece
that creates a beautiful picture
of a country landscape, an ocean scene at night,
or a heart that is complete,
leaving a gap in my happiness

            (Why can't you see
Love
            it was always you and me)

The last page of a mystery thriller
torn out by the desire to know,
ripped from its binding,
jagged paper edges seeking
a conclusion that doesn’t come from
reading between the lines

            (Every time I wait
Love
            it always is too late)

I sat in a garden
on a beautiful spring day
pulling petals off of a forget-me-not
just hoping she loves me
I should have known the cycle would end with
“me not”

            (I just want to love you
Love
            to show you that it's true)

Maybe if I write it enough times
Maybe if I were a glazed donut
Maybe if I were a fresh cup of coffee on a Sunday morning
Maybe if I were a cocker spaniel puppy
Maybe if I was a soft comfortable pillow
Maybe if I were a poet

Love

Probably not

.

Melting away in the past
What was, what I have lost
Tears form thoughts
Thoughts bring tears
Black and white vintage
No happy endings
What could have been
Your smile etched
Pain driven vacancy
Wondering answers mount
Dancing alone forever
Caught in my own web
Waving goodbye to shadows
The end has come
Blowing kisses on the wind
Finality penned
In soon forgotten ink
Too many sorrys
From these lips
Eternal frowns
Curving end of days
Nothing lasts
Finding one word
Can change everything
As the "and" is now gone
between
You
Me