I have loved, Now I have lost the love of my life.
I’m done loving people, at least for now.
My heart is broken.

I’m not crazy I swear;
My mind isn’t all here though.

Cold and tired, I’m hungry.
I need sleep it’s 4:32,I have been talking to you all night.
You make everything seem ok.
Text after text, talking about everything.
I want to hear your voice; I have fallen asleep to your voice before.
It’s 1:34 where you are, you need sleep, you’re not a night owl like me.
I love you, I’m going to sleep now.
Sweet dreams.

I wrote a poem on my wrist, I used a razor as a pen.
I know I will die someday of me hitting a vein when I self-harm.
When I leave this world would you miss me?

Can I call you daddy would that be ok?
See I was told you were my biological dad my whole life.
Until my biological mom said otherwise.
I asked for a DNA test, you said yes I would love to do that.
But when I really pushed your promise of doing a DNA test you said no.
Can I still call you daddy? Is that what you are?
I miss you so much.
I know why you declined the DNA test, you were dating this woman named Theresa.
If I was your daughter, that means you were cheating on Theresa.
It’s a confusing tale I know.
All I want to know is are you my daddy? I need to know.

Sometimes when I look into my mom’s eyes, it feels like I don’t know her, it feels like evil has taken over.

I hear kids talk about their parents, how awful it is because they didn’t let them have ice cream.
I hear kids talk about their parents, how they can’t get along, how they wish they were 18 so they could get away from them. When they are really just trying to love you.
Someone told me what I was going through wasn’t abuse.
There right it’s not abuse, my mom hitting me with a remote can be called an accident.
My mom saying, she hates me, can be blamed on me she was stressed.
I was offered help by someone I knew, someone who could get me away from the abuse.
I didn’t want to hurt my mom and dad though; I didn’t want them to lose everything.
A part of me knows they really are abusing me.
They love me right? What if the person abusing you is your own parents?
Is it tough love? Could they really just be abusing me? Why is that so hard to comprehend.
If a girl or guy gets in an abusive relationship, right away people run to help if there lucky of course.
Why can’t this case be abuse?
Why can’t I leave them?
I love them, I love my abusers that’s why I can’t leave.