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  Jul 2016 SteffyWeffy
Stephan
.

What do you do with a fried pickle sandwich
when lavender leaves have messed up its hair
How do you cut it in two equal pieces
while no one is home and you don’t like to share
Why is it sitting alone on the counter
as saucers of milk perform on the stage
Where is the flavor when bland is in fashion
and comic books sing on the very next page

Will you surrender to appetites chanting,
crossing the line where the pickets are white
Shoveling corn flakes when it is not snowing,
flying a kernel instead of a kite
Serving a side that is right down the middle,
leftover vegetables mashed into paste
Like a potato but not very filling,
smothered in ketchup to drown out the taste

Do you like tablecloths made out of vinyl,
just like a record but square when they play
Nothing to spin when you can’t find a needle,
looking through stacks that are covered in hay
Cook books too heavy to fit in your diet,
checking your math while subtracting a pound
Running in place when you’d rather be singing,
wishing the dining room table was round

Can you believe that a poet would write this,
watching a hummingbird outside his door
Smiling from one ear but not to the other
feeling the pinch when his cheeks are too sore
Maybe his mind is a swirl of affection
and it is her that he is thinking of
It’s a safe bet amid all this confusion
the poet who wrote this has fallen in love
SteffyWeffy Jul 2016
Dear Anorexia, you told me you would be my friend. You promised thinness, happiness and you promised you wouldn’t leave.
You didn’t leave, you were my shadow.
You told me what I was allowed to eat.
You made me cry, you made me lose everything.
I felt numb, it felt like I was high.
When I walked I felt like I was floating on a cloud unaware of my surroundings.
Cutting myself the only time I felt alive.
I was told my fear of food may never go away, I was told my family may never trust me again.
My mind isn’t my own.
I worry about being lonely without you, sometimes I go full minutes without thinking about food that’s when I feel the most incomplete.
My voice was taken I couldn’t speak, without asking you if it was ok.
Toilets, mirrors, knifes, and razors are my friends.
You are my friend aren’t you Anorexia?
SteffyWeffy Jul 2016
Unzip me now, take away all the layers do you see it? My heart is underneath. Please look at it for me, touch my heart see if it’s still alive. Love my heart it won’t be broken that way, I need you.
My heart is broken from your lies
My heart is broken because of your broken promises
My heart is broken because you keep pushing me down, don’t say you hate me maybe my heart will be fixed.
My heart is broken do you see it? Unzip my skin further take away more layers.
Do you see it now?
My heart is broken I can’t stand the pain.
Look at what you did it’s all your fault.
Daddy tried so hard to keep you together he lied and said you didn’t mean it when you called me a *****.
My heart is broken and you won’t be the one to fix it, I know that.
SteffyWeffy Jul 2016
She was hanging there by a rope; she is a corpse.
She had a beautiful blue dress on and her hair was done, she wanted to look nice.
She is hanging by her window she was hoping someone would see her,
That’s all she ever wanted is for someone to see her, she felt invisible.
She thought about death, she never thought she would do it though.
She wrote a note, explaining why she killed herself, explaining why she had scars on her wrist.
Because everyone thought she was fine, no one knew she self- harmed on her wrist.
I’m sorry I had to do this, please forgive me. No one would find her, no one would care.
SteffyWeffy Jul 2016
He was laying there in the hospital bed, he looked tired.
I didn’t think he would die,
He had one wish, he wanted someone to hold his hand while he passed.
So I did, I held his hand hoping he knew I was there.
I went back into the lobby, I sat in a chair waiting until there was more news.
Tick tock, tick tock, I look at the clock.
I see this woman with a child crying.
I go back into the room where he is,
It seems like hours pass, I walk around the room and wait.
I look at him, I slowly walk towards his bed and I lay with him to feel closer.
I hold him, I listen to his heart until it stops.
SteffyWeffy Jul 2016
I remember when we were little kids.
We use to play with dolls in your mother’s front yard, until we got tired.
You got out your bike and tried to teach me how to ride, but I never learned I fell.
In the Summer when it was warm we played in the sprinkler, until it got to warm.
In Autumn we played in the colorful leaves, until your mom yelled and said rake the leaves.
In the Winter we played in the snow making snowmen, we had snowball fights and when we got cold your mom would make hot chocolate and give us warm blankets out of the dryer.
We played Battleship and Monopoly until we fell asleep.
Sometimes on the weekends if I were there, we would wake up before your parents and watch cartoons. We would eat Lucky Charms and Coco Puffs.
SteffyWeffy Jul 2016
Another day passes by, while you watch others live.
All you seem to do is cry; You are broken, you are tired.
Your life is passing by you don’t care anymore.
You would **** yourself if it didn’t hurt your family, you can’t put your mom through more pain though.
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