It never ceases to amaze me,
How lucky I am to be living today,
All the things I take for granted,
That others in history never dreamed of.

Pale light floods through my window
The moon reflects your light
So I know that you're still shining
Even when out of sight

It's a small but beautiful thing
That something so far away
Unaware of my existence
Can make me feel that I'm okay

Now a light appears behind me
As I gaze at the moon out of my window
Someone just beginning their day
Is texting to say "hello"

I'm eager to respond
As I tap this small glass screen
As we talk a world away
I still feel heard and seen

It brings me some small joy
To imagine how they react
How their face too lights up
When the screen is no longer black

I rarely get to hear your voice
But I don't feel the need for mine to be heard
I still feel love in your messages
I see you between your words

It's hurts the brain to think about
It's heavy on the mind
From across our small blue planet
You can still say "you're mine"

I'm glad that we're alive today
With the chance that we've been given
To meet a beautiful soul from across the world
That reignites my love for living

I'll be waiting by the phone now
Until your name appears at the top
To see "I love you"
And "I'll never stop"

Writing has so many advantages
But non e tht I take for granted more
Than the ability to change what’s been writtn
The backspace on a keyboard
The eraser of a pencil
But life is a story written in pen
No crossing out words or paragraphs
And no tearing out pages so they can be written again
It j only continues to be written
Moving forward
With every mistake and flaw
Immortalized in a way more permanent
Than ink on a page could ever be
And so I wrote this as ametaphor
As a challenge to do thinkgs right the first time
But even if I think twice, write once
Shaky hands miss keys
And I see better pasts unchangeable once
I ma am is in the future
I am in the future
Such is life

What is this feeling?
I know this feeling.
It’s been a long time
Since I felt the stargaze
Tarnish before my eyes.

But I remember
Sleepless nights
And a shudder
When I saw you
For the first time.

You won’t have the same
Satisfaction
In my response;
I know what you are
And why you’re here.

You don’t have to convince me
That the shadow
You cast
Is my only friend;
I know it’s not and yet,

Here I stand.

Should I be afraid?
Will I come to fear
The places
My mind
You will take?

I’m too lost
To turn away,
You always seem to know
Just how long
This candle can burn

Before it fades.

I think I can pretend
Once more
That your vast nature
Can comfort me

I think I can pretend that
The light I see
Is more intimidating
Than the arms out you reach

But what the **** is this feeling...

Your hair gleams a different shade
In the sunlight than I've ever seen;
It stuns me at my core
To where I am lost for words,
Until I’m able to find my resolve again,
And pretend that the stars strike me more.

Your brown eyes seem to pierce my soul,
Even from five thousand miles away.
I couldn’t possibly lie to you.
It takes my breath from my lungs,
And the color changes in my face.

Not enough for anyone to see,
Except your windows
That see right through me,
And I realize only now
That your blinds are closed.

I wonder what you are afraid of,
Me or society?
But still you peek through,
Eyes on me,
And mine on you.

But now I know why
You never let me in:
You fear yourself,
Not those who wave at you
From the streetlights smiling with sin.

Built up to be broken
Is what they taught,
And the thought
That nobody will stay
Is hidden behind the blinds.

If you let me in,
Maybe I could show you
How just a hug
Can change your mind,
But you promised me.

“I am nothing,”
Is what you said
And for you to be nothing
Would make nothing, to me,
Worth everything.

And I can't help
These twitches in my chin
And my hands holding either side
As my tears penetrate through
These once-strong hands.

I couldn’t save you
From the sorrow you’ve
Weathered behind your blinds
Closing off your soul
And I am left shaking…

I am defeated, as life defeated you.
I am breaking, as life broke you.
I am gasping for air, as you breathe no more.
I am alone with your ghost,
That will haunt me until I finally
Decide to knock on your door.

And I wonder how long it’ll take me.

What an ugly state of things.
How did something so gruesome
Come from something so serene?

Blades were exchanged the day
We said "I love you" and then turned out backs,
But deep inside I feared it'd always end this way.

You stabbed me,
I stabbed you back.
Who's Caesar and Brutus
Just depends on who bleeds more from the attack.

We're just no good for eachother,
But we can't share the blame.
It's hard to believe I ever loved you,
But I guess neither of us are the same.

Now we look each other in the eyes,
The eyes I used to see my future in,
While we tear open all new scars
Before any healing can begin.

Somebody's gotta be the villain,
Nobody wants to be the one who got off easy.
So now we fight to be the bigger loser,
So people will know by what they see.

It doesn't matter who drew blood first,
It only matters whose the last to stop bleeding
In a bitter war of attrition,
With someone I said I'd love til my heart stopped beating.


Pain is no competition,

Because there are no winners.

There's no greater pain,

Or pain that's less important,

The pain you feel is as severe as you feel it is.

Don't get caught up in a losing war to try and leave as a victim.

Don't fight to be the biggest loser, so you can throw the biggest pity party.

Don't minimize other's pain, because you haven't lived a second in their mind to know how they feel.

When someone shows you they're hurt
Think of them first

Pain is no competition.