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Z 2d
Forgive me, a fool I am not to hold her to her words of loyalty,
Yet I expect her to hold fast to mine, that's a messed up morality.
It's not like I'm doubting her words because of its repetition and false meanings of past or meaningful but less action that last,
I assumingly find it hard to trust anyone fully that likely.

Yet to her I gave my trust willingly and humbly,
Occasions on such that she shows her loyalty.
She speaks of a firm foundation and pushes a steady mind,
Only God knows how many times I think of her with this lost soul of mine trapped in time.

Nicola, the name equaled to my first love and my third,
My mother of course and my girlfriend shares the same name.
I look at them and they have similar acumen and major things the same.

Mrs. Samuel, maybe, maybe not some day to be,
My wife or not probably as long as she stay with me.
I'm not praying she stays mine forever, but if she does would forever be mine?
I am trying to mold myself to be a better me than I was before,
The apropos way to ensure I'm worthy just for future time.

Still when I think of Angel I see "Her" smile,
When I sit and write tears for that "Her" flows from my eyes,
Because my soul misses "Her" but she is what I can't have,
It pushed Angel further away, but in great strength I alone can over come and understand.
Z 2d
Also in another world,
Minds of intellect precious as gold.
Molded in the hands that will not be scold,
A word to wise, secrets and truths will one day be unfold.
I have a fight to fight and a story to be told,
Bite the fruit of life, Oh Eve our death, the wisdom that sustains my soul.

Am I ready?
Lie at a price unwilling to be sold,
In dept in modern civilization far from home.
God is my solid rock and my standing stone,
Stuck on this planet called earth, a life trapping dome,
Fire in my soul sorrows extinguished with pipes of foam.

Ice cream in a cone fall slow to the floor,
When I change there would be more open doors.
Strength of core not physically but mentally and spiritually assured,
Giving balance to the purpose of dying and being on this forsaken earth anymore.

Am I ready?
Ready for what I should ask,
Finding the answers for that question will be an enervating task.
There, a fake smile worn by a human like a mask,
Your essence in the devil's glass and you blood in his legions flasks.

My body and mind must coincide with each other,
Like twins that are identical whether sister and brother.
I must stream the possibilities of my opportunities, failure I cannot cover.

I am ready no more questioning myself,
I am ready to try being the sum of better+ment.
For myself and not for those who look at me for strength,
My child to come in time to come of unknown length.

In this world,
Many minds have vast intellect like gold,
Impurities born and are unworthy to be scold.
A wise man to a fool truths were ignored but told,
This sweet fruit, Oh Eve I rather choose righteousness and sustenance for my soul.
Z Oct 24
Oh I am a humble ******,
My guidance cometh from the Lord and my peace, pushing from the sea front.
To the sea front I look for strength,
To the sea front I lean for a calm spirit,
To mother seas who sends blessings for me.

Look upon this ******,
Know that his head is guarded by integrity.
Discipline and professionalism are steeping stones I must take,
Accountability and respect are pillars that should not break.
My strength of character and ethics are implanted in my soul,
The values embedded to my core and are on my skin like moles.

My peace pushes from the sea front,
Oh I am a humble ******.
To the sea front I salute proud,
To the sea front I shout loud,
To mother sea, thank you for sending blessings for me.
Z 2d
Growing up in an unstable home, I never had much,
I was taught to accept the little and be contented with the few I was given.
I am no saint and I caught myself complaining a few times,
Though I get myself back to the realization that sufferation is a part of life and along those lines bla bla bla.

I began to appreciate the little from a very tender age,
Getting familiar with hard times was once a difficult stage.
I still face difficulties, I thank God for it every time I can,
I am only human and I acknowledge that not everyday I pray.

When my tears wave to God I ask forgiveness for I am of sin, things I do wrongly,
Whether it was knowing or unknowingly.
I appreciate the little and understand the reason for my journey,
Auspicious, for success and I cannot stay down such concerns me.

The days we had no food and the weeks our cupboards went arid,
The times of no electricity and water at our disposal.
This brought me to accept life as it is.
That saying "Good people endures the hardest fights" or how ever it goes,
Allowed me to be much different from others and bring fort my brightest light.

Some people may think they know me, but truly they don't,
I programmed myself to figure people out, so being friendly is something I wont.
Vanity isn't behoove and isn't apart of my heart,
Therefore the riches of man stains me not and wont tear me apart.

Indubitably, I appreciate every little and praise God for his continuous provisions,
I pray that God shows me my friends from foes, and register the division.
So I can be at ease and have peace of mind,
At this point it's circumlocution, I know I speak too much but in spirit, happiness is all I wish my family to find.
Z 2d
To apply focus is all I really need to fix,
My confidence as well takes a play in that mix.
I had to become better than I am but I am too timid,
the picture I want to paint is there but it's not showing to vivid.

I am behind and I am seeing blurry,
I lose focus too fast and confidence appears not to be my style.
I yearn for wisdom of how to become accomplished, high Oh High Court please send your Attorney,
And Judge, judge me, criticize the fact that I lack equanimity.

I desire to be a focused, confident person,
I wish my lack of focus and confidence doesn't worsen.
I want to stand out unencumbered from my darkness but quite shy am I,
Soft as clouds that paradigm the sky and confidence as Splendiferous as my love inside.
Z Oct 24
The book of my poems,
Means so much to me.
Come, read oh distant traveler,
May you feel the words I silently speak,
In times of distress my reflection of frustration enters this book freely,
I rather write away my realization than sink and sulk in sorrows like seas.

Read and understand my little wisdom,
I believe God granted it to me.
Come in the wall of my little kingdom,
I assure you love and loyalty.
I am no scholar nor the wisest of men,
Yet my heart cries and my tears the ink to my pen.

Forgive me distant traveler,
Only words i have for thee.
No silver nor gold nor vanity resides inside of me.
A cancer who slowly kills the body and makes it no more to be,
Like a man with no foundation and ambition his eyes can allow him to see.
Z 2d
I embarked on a situation, create the hypothesis for mistakes,
Mistakes isn't knowingly adding too much sugar to the cake,
Then you let it bake, afterwards the cake is baked it's too sweet, now it's a mistake.
Or is it?
But adding the right servings of salt and the cap releases allowing half the bottle to fall and the cake is salty, that's a mistake.

Don't get me wrong that simple explanation won't explain the full extent of what a mistake is and what it meant was that mistakes are depended on the understanding that knowing and not knowing finalizes the decision of making such mistakes.

If you can meditate on things that are wrong trying to put it in form to disguise it as a mistake, then that's your mistake.
Initially you make mistakes when the ignorance of something is present.
On the contrary carefully analyzing your actions and thoughts making proper covers for loopholes then doing the decided portion isn't considered a mistake.

don't tell me lies and afterwards say sorry it was a mistake,
You had time to think over those lies and the in this it results in life sentences.
Heart with no recompences,
Anger of the soul tenses,
Your mistake commences,
Now we're left with negative consequences.

Back to the beginning of your path heartbroken apart asking yourself, "Was that mistake worth making?"
Was that toothache sweet cake worth baking?
Was the thinking process worth taking?

Mistakes are out of the ordinary,
With lack of knowledge and wisdom and doing as we think rather than we know, it slow, we think, NO I don't think so, but even though our minds are clogged like someone's front door at Christmas with snow, we go the distance to allow our ignorant selves say or do things that we don't comprehend or have the evidence to show then we say sorry under low yet we learn and we will grow because that was a mistake.

So, before you approach me saying sorry it was a mistake think before you speak the same way you thought before you spoke or acted, rewind the tape repeat the situation again and again correct the matter in your brain before I ask you to maintain the words you are choosing to speak in vain..... "I'm sorry, I made a mistake!"
Or did you?
20 · 1d
2:35
Z 1d
I said I wouldn't have came back but I threw that poem away,
or did I.
Here I am staring at the screen 2:36am
My soul is longing to do more but my legs and hands are too short,
My heart goes a long distance.
My brain gives my heart no response and a lot of resistance.
Welcome it's my penance for kind gestures and lack of actions
Time to sleep,
Z 2d
I crossed the river, I am on the other side,
I swam, I almost drowned but I survived.
The end of the road, my end result,
Is only just an award for the true beginning.

I will be free, I am now in a bigger cell,
The sadness that troubles me is that I just out of Hell.
Patronizing the remembrance, the pain I have endured,
A sinner with an influence and a job to secure.

Fatigue is a part of my daily routine and career,
I see in time my talents gained are increased and shared.
Yes the road of such journey has ended,
But there's much to cover and for many branch have been mended.

Home sweet home is a call of a distant traveler,
Grey skips, crying on the window pane I'm not a lone passenger.
I have grind and made it to the end of the road,
The end result is victorious and hundreds to be off load.
Z 2d
Alright! The finish line is in my reach,
All is needed is for me to slow march and quick march.
When I finished this book will be my motivation speech,
Of the journey I travelled individually,
A word to the wise is sufficient,
Wisdom taught to fools is prudent.
Men cannot stand alone,
But God by the side of men will ensure greatness to reach their throne.
Now there're two roads in front of me, I live by three rules I should push through comfortably.
Be tardy, Be punctual and obey lawful instructions,
If these rules aren't followed there will be destruction.
Pain was the foundation and blood the veils,
The prayers I sent to God was heartfelt calls.
I am changing slowly but surly.
A few steps and the end is near,
This point uncertainty is the trickster I fear.
I am stronger than I was before mentally and physically,
I over came the fight for my soul spiritually.
A word to the wise is sufficient,
wisdom taught to a fool is proficient.
Taking heed of the lessons the elders gave us to.
The speed of our creed was initiated by instructors by stampedes,
Some failed to lead and underestimated our deeds.
The final piece of the puzzle that shows the full picture,
The struggle was needed, in turmoil we gave unto Cesar.
A word to the wise was and will always be sufficient,
Wisdom spoken to a fool is in his benefit, and is prudent.
Z 2d
You feel pain and you do not speak it,
You endure heartbreak and yet you do not speak it.
You feel pressure and stressed and you do not plea it,
Zion you get in troubles yet you do not speak it.

I am speaking to you Zion, I am speaking to myself,
Zion, why don't you speak, Zion why are you so weak,
Why do you open your heart to everyone even when destruction is what they seek.

Know that no one knows you better than me,
Even though you don't take them on, though you don't really care.
How is it you enjoy your own company rather the company of others,
I see you are a bit confused by things you cannot fully comprehend.

You feel lonely and you do not speak it,
You stand alone and you do not need it.
You prefer your pains to be your own burdens and you do not plan to release it,
Zion, you have things important to say but who told you told you it's meaningless to say it?
Z 1d
Now what do I do,
To find myself back to you.
Little do the wind blow,
Yet far the breeze took you away
PAIN are you here to stay?
Z 2d
Maybe people try to subjugate me because I have less to say,
Or because I choose to speak less to back myself up anyway.
Often criticized because I am soft hearted and my words were poorly spoken,

When I write, my words are like heavenly tokens.

I try a lot believe me I really do,
Though I cameless, sorry typo came less, as I always do.
I push myself and find that I don't get much support,

I was once blinded, my family do have me in thought.

Why do others try to subjugate me?
All I do is try my best to be fair,
Yet fools walk over me like studs on the parade square.
I used to care, I did and maybe I still do,

Occasionally but why and to who.

Those that look out for me are those I look out for,
I have their backs but I pray they have mine.
They are mostly with you when they need and want,

Then disappear when their interests aren't meat in the flash of time.

Do I need to change? Yes I do.
Change my heart, my mind and the way I speak too.
I need to become a foreign me and positive in fact,

Though from now I am not allowing ******* lay me flat.

People cannot figure me out I let my actions show not who I am, my moods switch suddenly,
I may be caring yet act so don't care so surprisingly.
Sometimes I just don't care and I am not afraid to say,

I don't care how others feel when I say I don't care either way.

I will improve and I believe I will,
I am acknowledging my flaws and forgiveness I seek.
Everyone lies and I am no exception,

But I am human so hold me to no expectation.

I alone knows my life, besides God, I'll be dammed to let someone in.
Even when I do they will never see the entire thing.
I have seen dead bodies, I have watch relatives die,
My heart has a numb side but I rather let it shine.
Am I ready? Maybe, maybe not but in time I'll decide.
Z 2d
I do for you, you do for me, not in the bad way, I am speaking positively.
Cain killed Abel and his curse lives on even now.
The brotherhood has been lost and doubtful that it may be ever found,
Today brothers don't understand their roles and their responsibilities,
So they become eye servants and forced waste commodities.
Some men call their brothers brother yet their friends and strangers receive brotherly love,
So forsake their own families and placed others above,
I was once like this but my heart have been opened wide,
Now I know my true brotherly responsibilities I chose to hide.
People need you when they want things and want you when they need help,
But as it don't benefit their interests they're gone.
Most are like snakes, I rather have a pet snake than trust the likes of men,
Because the snake has less understanding than the least of them.
I don't understand , I am helpful and heartly,
I love to share and I always give the best of my self.
In return selfishness and the "never have".
They tend not to do the same unfortunately they give unjust rewards instead.
Like a flame the combustion of my essence and feelings cause my soul to ignite,
But because of self absorbed humans began shutting the doors of my heart tight.
I live in a blood thirsty world where men feed only for themselves,
The are greedy and they beg and have many hiding for them on their shelves.
I realized that not everyone would stand by your side,
Some wont ride for you until you die.
This new generation of men are weak viperous one indeed,
Search high and low to plant their viperous seed.
Wickedness and evil intents are driven and preached,
Heavenly laws and commandments disobeyed and breached.
I asked myself a question, so weird and suddenly,
Question to myself is why do others try to subjugate me?
3 · May 2022
Longevity
Z May 2022
A plan was set in place,
Not sure if it'll work but it's a leap of faith.
God will lends a hand like he always do,
When I can't carry on anymore, HE helps me through.

I have few regrets, I mean who doesn't,
I need to climb I've learnt from failed attempts.
I hope this young lady I'm with reaches her goals,
I don't think I have it in me to let this one go.

My future is what I was working towards,
Whatever comes with it I pray it's good,
It has been so hard to continue progressing forward.
I keep fighting day by day as I should,
God alone knows if I had the power to remove myself from existence I would.

My plan has taken its course,
I will try my best through God's merciful grace.
This child that will add struggle yet a greater purpose to ,my life,
Lord in you I trust but I pray that in her decisions she meditated day and night.

— The End —