I failed my mother,
I'm not what she wanted or expected of me.
I failed myself,
I made choice that will harmfully affect me.
I failed my siblings,
Whether or not they were looking up to me.
I failed my family,
All the burdens and expectations they had in vision to be.
I am sorry, sometimes I wish I wasn't born,
Never to scorn, as I type I morn, in the dark I sit alone,
A passive aggressive one man storm.
I just wanted peace...... peace and quiet.
I yearn happiness.
Sprinkle sprinkle as I type my tears flow,
Long tears because I type slow,
Fixing my mistakes and my typos,
and here I go.
I wish I was young again I would make the same choices over again,
Meet my first love over again,
Enjoy our first kiss over again,
Hold her in my arms all over again,
But if I could have started over again,
I wouldn't have failed her over again, I wouldn't have given up on her over again.
I am sorry.
I wrote this poem and hid it from the public because I became timid all over again.
All over a pen, I wish things where different I would write this poem differently all over again.
I would lose and regain my focus all over a mends,
Go the furthest distance for over a friend.
But who am I fooling all over
All over....
All over nothing again.
I am sorry,
As my cheeks absorb the rain from my eyes,
that touch the corner of my imaginary smiles,
I'm already compromised, my future is already jeopardized,
and my past is already memorized.
I am sorry, I word I hate and now at this distant gate,
I saying it straight,
Though the meaning I want to procreate goes out multiple ways,
it may or may not  be good enough to reciprocate,
but I am sorry so it may demonstrate that I can't compensate the decisions I made when I was less fortunate lacking the wisdom I have now to help meditate proper analysis of thinking to facilitate my short comings.
Read it again let it marinate.
I'm sorry because I am passionate, because I had myself on an automatic levitate to elevate.
Instead to my self I chose to relegate, choices
a powerful advocate.
I am sorry,
I feel broken inside, I'm crying outside,
and only in God I can confide.
I failed my mother,
Now she doesn't hold me in high regards,
I failed myself because I dropped my guard,
I failed my siblings, I made things hard,
I failed my family, my ******* deepest fear I gave
regards
Yet I would do it all over again,
Sad reality the realm of regret.
We all wish we could do it all over again
Though there're so many thing I wouldn't do over again,
and saying I am sorry would have sure been one of them.

I crossed the river, I am on the other side,
I swam, I almost drowned but I survived.
The end of the road, my end result,
Is only just an award for the true beginning.

I will be free, I am now in a bigger cell,
The sadness that troubles me is that I just out of Hell.
Patronizing the remembrance, the pain I have endured,
A sinner with an influence and a job to secure.

Fatigue is a part of my daily routine and career,
I see in time my talents gained are increased and shared.
Yes the road of such journey has ended,
But there's much to cover and for many branch have been mended.

Home sweet home is a call of a distant traveler,
Grey skips, crying on the window pane I'm not a lone passenger.
I have grind and made it to the end of the road,
The end result is victorious and hundreds to be off load.

Alright! The finish line is in my reach,
All is needed is for me to slow march and quick march.
When I finished this book will be my motivation speech,
Of the journey I travelled individually,
A word to the wise is sufficient,
Wisdom taught to fools is prudent.
Men cannot stand alone,
But God by the side of men will ensure greatness to reach their throne.
Now there're two roads in front of me, I live by three rules I should push through comfortably.
Be tardy, Be punctual and obey lawful instructions,
If these rules aren't followed there will be destruction.
Pain was the foundation and blood the veils,
The prayers I sent to God was heartfelt calls.
I am changing slowly but surly.
A few steps and the end is near,
This point uncertainty is the trickster I fear.
I am stronger than I was before mentally and physically,
I over came the fight for my soul spiritually.
A word to the wise is sufficient,
wisdom taught to a fool is proficient.
Taking heed of the lessons the elders gave us to.
The speed of our creed was initiated by instructors by stampedes,
Some failed to lead and underestimated our deeds.
The final piece of the puzzle that shows the full picture,
The struggle was needed, in turmoil we gave unto Cesar.
A word to the wise was and will always be sufficient,
Wisdom spoken to a fool is in his benefit, and is prudent.

Cry today and smile tomorrow,
Through all the pain remember happiness is only borrowed.
Smile today and cry tomorrow,
Then sadly after joy is sorrows.

Whether the process of change is in progress,
Stress free suddenly next minute frustrated you stare,
Joy and sorrows both leave a long lasting scare.

Changing takes time and time is unpredictable,
Changing broken parts that are now unfixable.
The days of change, negativity and positivity exchanges ways
Both made an agreement for tears and smiles on separate days.

I am changing time alone will tell,
My flaws are acknowledged and I am trying.
In my point of view the effort is greater than the deed,
Because the deed can be done but a poor effort may not allow you to succeed.

Life needs a balance so there's good and there's evil,
There's animals, plants, sea, land, spirits and people.
Everything needs each other like Ying needs yang that type of fun,
Understand life is perfidious, good and evil makes the world go around.

Don't show me pity if I cry today, I'll smile tomorrow,
After all my pain surly happiness i shall borrow, But if I smile today, expect tears that my cheeks will swallow,
Karma sends her kisses of joy to prepare you for your tears of sorrows.