My
Lost soul,
These tears are my Morse code.
The pain seeing,
Your own future foretold.
and
There's no "sustain" mode.
Still hard to accept,
That I failed though.
While I die slow,
The scars and open wounds,
I can't show.
I'm in the darkness,
But I can't glow.
I feel suffocated,
There's not rain or sunlight,
So I can't grow.
Like a dried canal,
I can't flow.
I'm a prohibited space,
Not even I can't go.
Vain punishment?
or
Vain scold?
Standing at Hell's gate
In my hand,
There's Heaven's scroll.
Stranger in the dark texted my mom,
It told her I'm not coming home.
WHY??
She replied,
I said because I'm running away from all the,
PAIN I HOLD!
THE SINS I MOLD!
THE WRONGS I DID!
THE GRIEF I SOLD!
AND
This suffering cry deep inside my soul.
No sun too hot,
No deep to cold.
Famished,
The crust of my lips crave for food of thought,
and
Thirst for a drink of gold.
Yet much will stay unfold,
Yet more will be untold.
and
Even when all is said and done,
More will be forgotten,
and little will be engraved in stone,
Above the head of the lonely troll.
For this lost soul,
Much is borrowed,
Verily, verily less is owed.

Immortality? For humanity?
Who wishes this,.. this is madness
Omnipotent insanity.

Imagine if God was man, exactly.... Imagine what chaos this already dying world would have faced.
Yes pass tense because the world would have been no more.

Flawless calamity, fatalities to families,
Destruction to to cities great riches burnt,
Abduction so passively and aggressive with tragedy who would the **** the mortal man.

Sight beyond observation, Every government greatest manipulation,
Those free from slavery yet chain in spirit daily, leaves lack of identity.

I say "Oh Father" for you are almighty, knowledge so worthy.
Touch of such Holy, presence I need to make life whole again.

An immortal man will now no longer stand,
To serve no one his own stature,
Sadly will God stand alone after creating this world because of the fatalities of immortality.

The old ones see and hear all that pass,
Patience at last,
Time forsaken and skies observe dry leaves rest comfortably on green grass.

Immortality? For humanity?
Who wishes this,.. this is madness
Omnipotent insanity,
There would only be destruction and fatalities to families.

I failed my mother,
I'm not what she wanted or expected of me.
I failed myself,
I made choice that will harmfully affect me.
I failed my siblings,
Whether or not they were looking up to me.
I failed my family,
All the burdens and expectations they had in vision to be.
I am sorry, sometimes I wish I wasn't born,
Never to scorn, as I type I morn, in the dark I sit alone,
A passive aggressive one man storm.
I just wanted peace...... peace and quiet.
I yearn happiness.
Sprinkle sprinkle as I type my tears flow,
Long tears because I type slow,
Fixing my mistakes and my typos,
and here I go.
I wish I was young again I would make the same choices over again,
Meet my first love over again,
Enjoy our first kiss over again,
Hold her in my arms all over again,
But if I could have started over again,
I wouldn't have failed her over again, I wouldn't have given up on her over again.
I am sorry.
I wrote this poem and hid it from the public because I became timid all over again.
All over a pen, I wish things where different I would write this poem differently all over again.
I would lose and regain my focus all over a mends,
Go the furthest distance for over a friend.
But who am I fooling all over
All over....
All over nothing again.
I am sorry,
As my cheeks absorb the rain from my eyes,
that touch the corner of my imaginary smiles,
I'm already compromised, my future is already jeopardized,
and my past is already memorized.
I am sorry, I word I hate and now at this distant gate,
I saying it straight,
Though the meaning I want to procreate goes out multiple ways,
it may or may not  be good enough to reciprocate,
but I am sorry so it may demonstrate that I can't compensate the decisions I made when I was less fortunate lacking the wisdom I have now to help meditate proper analysis of thinking to facilitate my short comings.
Read it again let it marinate.
I'm sorry because I am passionate, because I had myself on an automatic levitate to elevate.
Instead to my self I chose to relegate, choices
a powerful advocate.
I am sorry,
I feel broken inside, I'm crying outside,
and only in God I can confide.
I failed my mother,
Now she doesn't hold me in high regards,
I failed myself because I dropped my guard,
I failed my siblings, I made things hard,
I failed my family, my ******* deepest fear I gave
regards
Yet I would do it all over again,
Sad reality the realm of regret.
We all wish we could do it all over again
Though there're so many thing I wouldn't do over again,
and saying I am sorry would have sure been one of them.

I crossed the river, I am on the other side,
I swam, I almost drowned but I survived.
The end of the road, my end result,
Is only just an award for the true beginning.

I will be free, I am now in a bigger cell,
The sadness that troubles me is that I just out of Hell.
Patronizing the remembrance, the pain I have endured,
A sinner with an influence and a job to secure.

Fatigue is a part of my daily routine and career,
I see in time my talents gained are increased and shared.
Yes the road of such journey has ended,
But there's much to cover and for many branch have been mended.

Home sweet home is a call of a distant traveler,
Grey skips, crying on the window pane I'm not a lone passenger.
I have grind and made it to the end of the road,
The end result is victorious and hundreds to be off load.