I want to dance around the room in just your shirt
and remember the way it felt to be alone with you.

♫There you were in your black dress/Moving slow to the sadness.♫

                                          (When I am too tired to move
                                                    and too lazy to think
                                             I will recall the distinct taste
                                                    you left in my mouth,
                                  imprinted on my tongue and in my heart;
like citrus
and melancholy,

like strawberries,
like fear.)

The French call an ******
"the little death"

looking at you,
(trace the curve of my neck
with your lips)

I would like to suggest-
(close your eyes and search
for the secrets of my body
with your tongue)

that is to say:
(put your hand in mine
don't let go.)

Darling,
let's die a little
tonight.

that we met
there was something in your eyes
that whispered,
"Love me."

;and something in my heart that shouted:
"Yes."

(I wish that you had heard.)

Out of habit
I sleep at the edge of the bed,
still unused to the
space you left behind.


(I still wake
                 reaching
for you in the dark;
finding only memories
           of the remnants
           of your
                warmth.)

I kind of love you
    when you’re drunk
    and you
    piece together words
    like a child would
    a broken vase;
quickly and clumsily,

like you are afraid of
being caught
by your own thoughts.

You are like a sailor
who wants to forget the sea.

   And I am not the shore
   you cling to
   or the lighthouse
   that guided you home;

   I am the boat,
   left docked and
forgotten,
   and the waves
   that call you back
   to the life
   you were born

   to live.

I don’t know where I’m going
but I want to take you with me.

I will pack you in my suitcase,
next to the pants I’ll never wear,
and pull you out on rainy days
when I am missing home.

I will shower you clean with kisses
and iron away your creases
with my finger tips.
When I tuck you into bed
my body will be your blanket.

And while you sleep,
I will cradle my head against your chest,
a pillow I have never slept upon,

and count the number of heartbeats it takes
to realize that this is all just

wishful thinking.