Does your family still talk about me?
Are your walls the color you talked about with me so long ago?
I guess friends do come and go
And with the irregularities in thought process that have come to light I suppose it’s no surprise you sought out people with better expressed feelings, sympathy.
You could say I left myself in the dirt
Chasing the only friend whose feelings seemed real to me

If he sees me sad
Maybe he’ll put away the things that have come between us
Angry
At the people whose feelings are supposedly easily expressed
For not caring
Angry
That the short hour of time I’ve created out of sleep for love has become so sour
Angry
That you can’t just put our differences aside and give me the only thing I’ve ever wanted from you since the beginning

Dark and empty
Where everything outside is muffled
Those are the places I reside now
A lightly treaded staircase
Inside the box of tin and 4 wheels that takes me everywhere I don’t want to be
Any available corner of a room
Loneliness and hunger
Hoping the more I leave people alone,
The more okay with me they might be
If my stomach is as empty as I am
The happy things might return

I imagine it's like tightrope walking
But on drugs
I dont know which way to lean
Where I am
Why I'm trying so hard to stay balanced
Where I'll land if I fall off the rope
I make my moves carefully
But my mind is spinning
I am preparing myself for what my mind seems to believe is inevitable
The fall
The end
I want to keep walking
The farther I go the better I feel
If only I could keep my balance in this altered state of mind i refuse to define

It's like a dream
Walking outside to find you sitting on the ledge of a ditch
Watching traffic
You always seem to find the perfect balance of speaking but still letting things be unspoken
And though they say I'm far from home
The drive has never seemed so short

I wish I could ask you to stay
That youd never leave
But I'd hate the thought that you could want to leave but feel trapped by my desperation
Your love seems so unconditional when it comes to me
But as time goes on I feel as if even your love for me is fading
I wonder terribly often that maybe I am becoming a worse person
And that you greatly dislike the changes you see in me

Sometimes
My bonds with people seem like wells
Wells that I am constantly running dry
And anymore it seems as if I am in a desert
I'm sorry
If I come to drink from the wells of friendship too often
I wish I could be more like rain