I struggle with words
More then people would guess
And I don't understand
How people can see past the pain in my eyes
And fall for the fake smile on the lips

Hi
A simple word
but even the smallest things
can hide a world of pain

I would tell you how I feel
How my heart jumps every time I see you
How your smile brightens my day
And your laugh fill my heart
I would tell you how I feel
But I don’t know who you are
I can tell your there
Waiting just around the corner
And I yearn to call you
To hear your voice
But I don’t know what it sounds like
I would tell you everything
Every pain
Every joy
Every moment of my life
And I for once someone would know everything
I need you here
But I don’t know you yet

Make up your mind
Am I too skinny or too fat?
Too short or too tall?
Do I wear too much makeup, or do I need to wear more?
Is my dress too long or too short?
Hell, should I even be wearing dresses at all
Am I too dressed up or too dressed down?
Is my hair the right length or should I cut it?
Am I too outgoing or too quiet?
Show your shoulders
Don't show your shoulders
Don't show too much skin
Why do you always wear long sleeves?
That's too modest
That's too provocative
Wear heels
But only if you're a certain height
You're really good at that
For a girl
Be yourself
But only the way we say you can be yourself
Make up your mind
Because we can't do both
And being in the middle is tearing us apart
Or better yet
Mind your own ******* business

Ever feel like your in a movie?
Like each frame moves you closer and closer to an end goal?
I feel that way sometimes
Except here's the difference:
It's not my movie
I'm not the person this film is about
The plot involves me
But I am not the key person in the story
I'm the best friend who everyone loves
But nobody would peg as their favorite character
Forever in the shadow of the hardworking lead role
It's sad really
To think I'll always be number two
Forever the expendable second choice
But what can you do
When it's someone else's movie

He said 'Write a poem that feels happy'
I tried
I really did
But true happiness now is fleeting
It has its moments
But they are few and far between
Like rain in the dry season
Or sun in the winter
I tried
I really did
And the poem I wrote was close
but it wasn't happy
Content maybe
Powerful definitely
But not fully happy
But I guess that's my life now

You try to lash out
To be the one with the last word
But I'm not listening
And you know it
You're words run over me like water over rocks in a stream
They stick for only a second
before they are washed passed by the ever-moving mass that is time
I wait
One sigh in a galaxy
One tear in a multiverse
And that's all you get
When your torrent of words ends
I smile
For the first time in a long while
And this time I truly mean it
I thank you for sharing Nod politely
and turn to go my separate way