My heart.. Is shattered.
I spend every night soaking my pillows in tears and sweat.

I feel nothing.. Nothing at all but sorrow and regret.

No motivation.. To will to go on,
The reason is because.. You're gone.

Every memory we shared, for all the times we shared a smile..
I knew it would only last a short while.

There's no one to blame.. No one else to call to but me.
All these feelings.. All these emotions.. Prevent me from sleeping at night.. They just won't let me be.

You're someone I'll never forget, each night I'll spend with you not here..
The pain is just unbearable.. But until our paths cross again.. I'll be here waiting for you my dear..

-Sorrows

Through all the pain and the hurt..
The tears left on my shirt..
You will always be my princess, my queen.. My reason for happiness even if you're not mine anymore..

I'll wait here.. Doing everything right.. For days.. Weeks.. Months.. Years.. And in the end.. If you're still not mine once again.. At least I can say I tried.

These memories we shared will haunt me like ghosts who were never able to rest easy..

Every smile we shared.. Every time I got to hold your hand.. Every time I got to hold you close at night.. As you would whisper "hold me tighter" all of that is forever etched in my brain..

My heart will forever belong to you even if you decide to give yours to someone else..

I love you... And I'll never let you go.. You'll forever be mine.. Until the end..

-Sorrows

Fighting.. Struggling..
Its like a huge weight of depression, hurt and regret fell on my chest. I'm struggling for air but.. Its consuming me. The only thing that keeps me going is the constant reminder that everything will be okay.. Even though its not true and ive just been lying to myself..
Living in a lie.. Putting on a fake smile for everyone but in reality.. I'm just ready to give up.. On everything..
**** turned sideways so quick.. I didn't even have time to react.. But here I lay.. Clutching the pillows closer to my face.. As they work as a sponge to soak up every tear I manage to drop.. I'm. I'm just ready to give up.. Call it quits.. I don't deserve this life I was given..

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I wasn't ever enough for you,
I'm sorry I became so attached to you like super glue,

Not knowing that we would grow apart so fast and detaching from you was what hurt the most.. Because honestly.. I had plans with you, growing old.. Hell.. Even sailing on a boat from coast to coast..

I know I'm a handful.. I admit it but.. Sometimes I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror without constantly judging every inch of myself..

I love you.. You taught me to love myself but now.. Now I feel like I'm not even enough for myself..

So.. When we get to that point where we say our goodbyes.. Just know.. I would have done anything for you.. Even leave you alone completely.. So you could be happy with another guy

If my heart could speak.. It would tell you how much it loves you.. And that it beats for you.. And only you.

It would tell you it cherishes all the memories we have.. From making eye contact with you and smiling for the first time to holding you and saying good bye for the last time..

It would tell you how much it misses being in your warm embrace.. Also how it wishes it didn't **** up so many times..

But I can speak more than my heart can..

I would tell you I'm sorry for all the times I've wronged you in my life... All the times I've broken your trust you had for me.. Honestly.. I wish you didn't have to go..

I spend my nights alone.. Sitting in the dark questioning every part of who I am while twirling my only friend I've ever had through my fingers..

It acts a paint brush to my canvas that's on my arm.. The only color it has though is a dark.. Disappointing red..

The only difference is... This will last forever.. It will leave me a permanent reminder of what I've done.. It'll act as a ghost later in the future and will haunt me until the day I stop breathing..

Your initials are forever marked on my cut up and broken heart.. They will always be there and will never fade..

The reason why we hold onto memories so much is because they never change.. But the people that you made them with can...

I'm winding down to my final days of being on this cruel place we know as earth.. As I bleed out from my paintings all over my arm... I want my final words to be.. "I love you.. And my heart will beat it's last beat for you.. And you only.."

No matter what you wear.. Or how much makeup you apply.. You will always be the only one that catches my eye..

Every time I look at you.. I fall even deeper in love.. Is it a curse or a blessing that I feel everything I said from the little stanza above?

Whatever the case may be.. I love it... Every time our eyes make contact.. My heart skips a beat.. Its really odd because honestly.. I've never felt this way before..

Your personality is really something that shines.. But when your appearance and personality combine.. I realize why I'm completely weak for you.. To put it in Pokemon terms.. You mean more to me than a level 100 Mew..

I say you're beautiful but you never believe it but that's okay.. Because I'll stay here the rest of my life to tell you everyday..

It hurts.. The feeling is unbearable..
I gave you my all.. I gave you more than I've ever given anyone.. But it never meant anything to you.

The times I needed you most... The times I wanted you by my side, you left me there soaking in my own tears with nothing but the feeling of pain deep down in my chest.

It disappoints me that I saw potential in you.. But in the end.. I'm here alone.. Once again.. I put my all into us.. So when you left.. You took it with you.. Now.. I don't even know if I have anything for myself.. Nothing.. But a shattered heart that had once belonged to you.