Grief is heavy,
& the weight never ceases to exist.
You carry it in the depths of your soul.
You feel it in every breath you take,
in every word you speak,
in every step you take—
you carry that weight.

In the morning,
when you wake
& realize
it was just a dream—
their beautiful face no longer walks this
Earth.

At first,
grief feels like it’s crushing you,
holding you down,
making it hard to eat,
hard to speak,
hard to breathe.

Even opening your eyes in the morning is too much,
because their absence is heavier
than the presence of anything else.
Getting out of bed is nothing short of a miracle.

It feels like you’ll never walk again—
like a disease consuming your body,
spreading through every limb & vein.
It truly feels like you’ll never breathe again,
never feel light.

But eventually—
you start building muscle.
That weight doesn’t crush your soul
the way it once did.

Some days,
the weight still feels too heavy,
your muscles ache from carrying their absence.
So you rest,
you lay in bed,
until your muscles regain strength.

Over time, you build more muscle,
until the weight no longer suffocates you
like it did in the beginning.

The weight never goes away;
you’ll always carry that boulder.
But now,
your body knows how.