I'm at a road block,
While the clock went tick-tock
This one here is a fighter
He sets fire, easy like a lighter
Grabbed hold of that metal tight,
Not letting go without a fight.
Heavy and heavin'
He lets go to start leavin'
His mind tortures him "Nothing but talk"
Now he's in a head lock
Knees bent, shoulder back
He's a fighter that's back in his groove and sharp as a tack
Bulldozer
He won't go into foreclosure
He never breaks his composure
He'll break through this barrier
Provin to them he ain't no longer a little terrier
But a bull... dozer
And this one here is nothing  but a **fighter

White dies from feeling, existence, thought, memory.
Just like that ball of paper.
So let the snow vanish your tracks,
Watch out the window baby and see the whirlpool begin to swirl.
Pools of curiosity erupts within
And only then are you at your best.
Rub off the little flurries gathered on your shoulders.

The flames making a forest
I got trapped in all the hazy heat
Everything that mattered to me caught in the inferno
My body said to fight
My mind said it was pointless to try.

I lay there
All the safety nets came toppling down on me
Helpless, abandoned, trash, stranded is what I thought I was
Hell, mayhem, and isolation had taken the controls
The terrorists I had been brought up to fear and hate
Had destroyed my life.

They slammed right into my World Trade Centers
My Hope and Fate had jumped off the sides with my Happiness
While  my strength burned inside my heart
Everything ruined to embers and ashes
Now today, I am finally here, I've survived Hell.

I've gotten the rubble pull off me
And I'm done falling
'Cause I've made it to the ground floor
I can see the the smoke clearing, blue skies flooding in
Staggering up, my battle scars are proof
That I made it through Hell and back.
My terrorists are gone, sinking to the ocean floor with anchors of passion
My passion that's sinking, will be taking me to the top.

Don't want to turn the light on..
Happy is something I'll never be
Love despises my life
For it runs farther away whenever I come close

You were the only color in  my colorless eyes
And the eagle in which flew in my sky
But now the colors are invisible
And the eagle no longer takes to the sky for me to watch

But the hurricane swallows me whole

Now that last little hope has left
My insides more frozen the ice
I begin to drift off
To float to my paradise

There's a sun
And clouds
But the sun is you
Staying and then vanishing
And I can't feel the warmth
All I feel is that chilly breeze
I'm alone though, and in my oasis
Until I open my eyes

Gays are no different
Because we have eyes, though some of us may be blinded
We have ears, though some of us might be deaf
We have fingers and toes, although we may not have all twenty.
Gays are not hell bound
Because we eat shellfish just like you do
We are flame resistant just as you claim to be
We have sinned, like every other person out there.
We are no different
We are wired differently as is every human in existence
We dress differently just like you
We all love differently, but we love anyway.

We say as our ancestors rebelled
We don't carry Satan on our shoulders as you have tought your children
We do our best to hold in the hate
And we feel as though we can acclimate others to their peers
We do not though, force ourselves on you
As you do to us

So we like rainbows
I can guarantee we fine more pots of gold than you
So we have our wn clubs and bars, because you have yours
She's a woman and he's a man, and there are no picket signs at their door

NOthing breeds us to disown and hate  but ourselves- so that is who we can blame or that's who we can talk to*

Gays are no different. So don't hold me from walking down an aisle

Hang these flags as you would have our heads
Trapped from snapshots of two men in one cot
And even when
They weren't lusting, sinning, thrusting
How is it that that is what the puzzle makes out to be
One was terrified of the thunder and lightning
The other looking out for another
But as soon as you conjure up the word brother
All Hell breaks loose and the Chruches scream

Even when the two long haired women tangle together
Scandalous and ****, profits and party
Based on their bust size and hair length
Throw in the noun sister and you have a sold out show

Selective, seducing, masquerades and markets
Like we are some animals bound to your chain
Cut along my veins and hold me to the light anf read me
Etched among myself are the scriptures of the already spoken
And the nes who aren't there yet.

We cannot hold the right to complain or banter
if we were not out in the streets, protesting, saying.

And we've all be persuaded into believing it's a blue sky
Until someone walks up and says it's purple
And the churches will look it up in their books
But who has time now adays for reading?

I am from blades,
from Monster and Kodiak.
I am from the twilight skies on my rooftop.
Angled, Dangerous.
echoing low noftes bellow in the valley where I lay in pieces.
I am from the petals of the Oriental Cherries,
the eroded shoreline
that once safe sanctuary turned
to the eye of the hurricane

I'm from locking myself away from the arguements and
decorating my sister's grave with withered roses,
from Danielle and Grant.
I'm from the rip tides of grief and regret that follows my father,
and the lonesome, aged embrace of my brother,
from everything happens for a reason and
just keep fighting and maybe we'll be alright.
I'm from scorched dreams
And they've kept me afloat long enough
for me to locate and touch down in the shallows.

I'm from Irish, obvioulsy more then tipsy grandparents,
maple syrup rolls and Kool-Aid packets.
From the unfortunate instability of my brother's mountain bike
the speckled, flexed "glass" skin that holds my grandmothers spirit.

Tangled amongst the stinging nettles
Searing away all my past regrets
My background shocks my ground
Raising my cracked, frayed spirits to my spot that's atop the rooftop,
Getting lost in the city of constellations
I come from uncertain outcomes and fatally close calls.

When I pull up a new page on Word, I just want to fill it all up with words.
Words that could make it onto the front page...
I always seem to fail at this part.
I just want to be one of those artists who get noticed and people pay attention to what they post.
See? I'm starting to fill the page up with words.
Words that mean nothing.
They just sit there and stare at me waiting for their new neighbor that I pick.
Hey! There's an idea...
Write a poem or story about words.
But then again,
Who would read that crap?
I don't know what to write that would make it on to the front page.
I should just give up shouldn't I? That's what I'll do.
I am no great writer, just a lousy teen who throws a few words onto their computer screen
And marvels at it.

Just an e-mail
That floods the dam
And shoots a smile onto your face
That no choir director could ever put there

Just a connection
That crashes over the waves that drown you
And holds you to the stars in the night sky
That shine only in your eyes

When a simple e-mail
Makes you smile a childish, pure smile
And makes you cry after the first sentence,
Knowing
You have a connection

That somebody will ALWAYS be there
That you will NEVER be abandoned, stranded
It's quite honestly the best feeling a human can have
You have a reason worth more then gold
To pick yourself up
Put your feet one  in front of the other
Battle each battle like its your last

Just from an e-mail
Just from a minute to keep me alive and assured

I was falling from a skyscraper
A few seconds, a few more jokes
Until I hit the concrete and the light
flickered out into the black night and fog.
But you saw me frozen, lost
And you reached out your hand and gave me another chance.

A fighter, survivor
We're all one in the same after those 9 months of Hell

I love you more then words could even begin to describe
I don't think you truly know just how much you saved me.

And I used to be just like you are
But I survived and I'm not just selling
False Hope
Just handing out
Your painfully truthful Fates

No, I am a walking almanac
And I can tell you that in eight months
You will still be trapped down in this dark

I wish you make the best of your time down here
Because this is as bright as it'll get for you.

Goodbye and Good Luck.

The kicking
And pounding
Like an old
Rustic
Blazing hot
Iron Horse

And the revolutions
Over and over again
They scream like an orchestra
Through the night that was started
so silent

Treading
Breaking
Sinking
Breathing
Shaking
Trying
Giving­
Surrendering

And it's a work in progress
Safety
Security
Trust
Assurance

Combined
At what is now
The Architects
Finest work

And we call it our home
I call it our dream
And you,
my heart

It's a world,
That's kept me fighting
Fighting for you

It's a world,
That's knocked me off my feet
Feet that I thought were rooted to the ground

It's a world,
That's stolen my trust
Trust someone will come
And pick me up
Or dust me off

And I may be wasting my time
Chasing after you...
But I'll waste every single day of my life
Chasing after you...

Some will see me wasting my days
And call me a fool
Others will watch me chase after you
And push me towards my goal

I'll spend time wondering...
Wondering if what we could be is even possible
Or if it really is a never-ending road

Barreling through the unknown
And strolling through all that's familiar
But I seem to stuck between the two

I know you, you're familiar
But yet it is unknown your reaction to my daunting question
I'm running to be saved
Because no one was running to save me

Charging through sorrow and disappointment,
And hurtling over people who refuse to let me break free
I seem to be finished charging

I like you, I'm crazy about you
But somehow I sense I'm on a one way street
Please, prove me wrong,
Prove to me that I haven't wasted 3 years on someone who is too bright for me

Laying on a hill, gazing at the constellations
And rolling to bump into you, someone special and one of a kind
I seem to hold onto you tight
And you latch on to me as well

I'm grinning and blushing,
Only no one can see me,
If only you could see me..
Outside the class room
Free from all the unwanted eyes staring at me
I wish I could feel your warmth
And maybe hear your gentle breathing
That I could reach over and rest my head on your rounded shoulder

Anything's possible if you really want it to be

He lost his dad
Hold onto his hand so he doesn't run
He lost his dad
With the rubble smothering the color of the sky in war.
He lost his dad
Caught sight of the coffin the pain worse than an eight year hangnail.
He lost his dad for God's sake
Could we really say that name in a time like this without a taste of guilt?
He lost his dad
Turn and down half a bottle of alcohol and then tuck him in tonight
Quick, we're running out of paper
He lost his -
The super hero got a little close to the waves and didn't know how to swim
His super hero got too many of these corrupted crazy villians to fight off
And now the hero needs saving while we sit and turn away
He was already under when we look at the empty silhouette panicking
He lost his dad
His super hero

I don't want to give you the wrong impression
I play my nerves like a pro
I slam imaginary ice packs on my face so you won't notice my blush
I strut like I've got confidence

I laugh quietly
I say only the crucial parts
So I say everything
In an attempt to save your beautiful, loving soul

Focus on the positives
Raise your chin up high
Swim to shore
I'll say your name
Over and over again
The funeral..
The sleek, carved coffin...
The flaming red roses laid atop your body
Your sweet voice blowing in the wind
Reminding me of your favorite tune

Treasure how high you got me
Lift my head up higher
Paddle to the shallows
I'll whisper your last name
Over and over again
The moment...
The realization taking the wheel
The grey, limp clouds sprinkled over my skies
Your touch stinging on my shoulder
Reminding me of our last encounter

Where would I go?
Why would I stick around?
Now that you'd be gone
I'd run to the nearest cliff and plunge over the rocky edge
Or slip under the surface of the river
Maybe dash out into the road

I'd have no reason to carry on
'Cause I'm not strong enough to live out your legacy
Your empire
Glimpse your YouTube picture and kiss it Hello
I'd be seeing you in a few seconds.

But at the same time,
You're only a phone call away
Just need to pick up a stick and press the stars
And you'd be on the line, talking to me
Giving me reason to continue on

Every night,
You would be more alive then ever before
Because when you and I first met
I knew you were the girl for me
And you're different
Lighting a spark in my eyes that had been rained on by my tears

There's not another girl
Like you
Close to you
I'm going to take you so far up
You'll be saying goodbye to your room back in Heaven

Smiling like lunatics
Laughing until we sat in silence
I love you
Strive to make you proud
So I'd stick out down here
While you flew around upstairs

I was sinking from your beauty
Yet floating from your ambition

Was it real?
Is this real?

Because I'm not sure if I'm still alive
Or if I'm dead
And in the after world forever

Nothing can clear up this frightening question
But I also feel invincible simultaneously
Knowing that if I'm already dead, nothing can hurt me
Or at least not in the way I think..

Someone prove to me
That I can still feel
And lift the foggy confusion and doubts out of sight

I know I'm alive
If you show me you care for me
And take me to places I'd never imagine existed
Because all I need to know for sure
Is your love
And your hug

Currently, I feel so alarmingly lost
Like everything I've been doing
Is all a replication of my mortal life
And I NEED
I need you more then I ever have before
More then I thought I ever would
And more then I thought someone could ever need someone else
But you'll save me,
Nat.. You have to

I can't keep on doing this
I have to  make things right
Between us...Just you and I.

I hit my rock bottom
When I looked into your eyes for the final time
I saw it
The hurt slipping from your eyes
Down your cheeks.

I just turned my back
Took off running
To a sanctuary that could save me

We're only in 8th Grade
I was gone from a world
Taken to another one,
Darker, vaster..
I threw the **** weights off my back
I came to the world of reality.
A world of happiness and love.

So I can't walk the halls on Monday
With you walking silently beside me
Both of us, together
I suppose a, "Hello" don't mean much

I won't ditch you because of a heart break
That's not who I am
You and I weren't supposed to be together
My world was spiraling out of control
About to explode when I heard you yell my name

And I will not keep doing this
I've picked myself up
Stopped the self-hate
Now I'm climbing up Everest
When I reach the top

I guess I'll call out your name
Like you yelled mine as I ran away
See if you call back
Because I have to make things right
Between you and I

I love you like crazy,
Only want the best for you. Happiness, love, security.
I'm sorry for being so isolated from you.
Can we start all the way over?
Get to know each other without the awkwardness of a crush?

Just ******* one last kiss
I'll hold it close
As the road bends, my hands hug myself..

Just say you love me one last time
I'll hear it over and over in my head
As your face disappears behind a tree..

Just give me one last hug
I'll feel it every day
As your legs stop running after me..

Just hold me close one  last time
And tell me that you need me
And that I'm the one..
Just ******* one last kiss...

I'm nothing
But a freak, a misfit, a ******* mistake
A regret, a loser, an ***

I hate myself more then anything else in the world
I want to rip my skin apart
Break windows and bust down doors
Nothing will ever be good enough for people
I want to end it all
I'm done
I give up

I'm giving in.
I'm nothing.

Hey you.. You should come here

So I can kiss your lips and listen to the rain by your side and we can sit in the dark for hours and maybe pass the time with our hands as explorers and our hearts as our holding tanks.. And we can close our eyes, to see even darker shadows in the warmth of one another. Because I love you, and everything you do, everything you say, every little laugh you let escape your breath and how you make all my worries fly away.

My hand snakes to your ever so inviting lap
I want to hide us under my new baseball cap
It's your first time
Trust me, it'll be quite a climb
You're too afraid to be unleashed so soon
Wanting to stay within your cocoon
I don't blame you darling,
Kids and adults will never quit snarling
Called a coward
Not by me but society's video tapes
My head rests on your shoulder
I hope it doesn't feel like a massive boulder
That's when I come to life
Cut loose like Pinocchio was with a knife
Yet still called a coward
Because we're hidden outside of shadows

Never let me go,
Do you promise me that?
Or will you say you'll try
Then release me
So I can be at the mercy of the wind..

Rusted and speckled..
Gone through the Great Depression.
I carried you with me everywhere
But when I needed you the most,
You weren't there.

My lucky horseshoe was left behind
On the days I rallied behind you and your luck,
Well I needed you for the final time.

It was Friday,
One last class to go.
I chucked you out the window,
not realizing that things needed fixing.
You were the only one who could do the fixing.

Standing on my own.

The numbing light dims to black,
Car lights replace the dark and you tremble.
Like rose petals in the wind,
You waver and eventually collapse to the pavement.
The pavement is your destiny and future though.

Crates too massive to lift surround you like a canyon,
Vanishing those blazing car lights from your eyes
You take in everything like a breath of icy air,
Brief and crucial.

The hollow note echoes to stillness,
Infectious beats take their place and you sway.
Like a cottontail in the summer breeze,
You lean from side to side, finally standing tall.
And the standing transforms into your grip on life

Ships swerve towards you like starving crocodile,
Blocking out that deep bass.
You tread carefully like a waterlily a top a pond,
Almost  imaginary but real at the same time.

Your bones rattle around inside your thinning skin,
The light shocks and shakes you
And the car lights reappear, taking center stage
Like the moon in the sky..
You shiver and spin around,
All that you see is your future.

My family is the house burning at the end of the street,
Ignited by my own struggles and failures.
We're all running for our own safe, sandy shorelines.
My dad is the book case,
Quickly burned, ruined, and forgotten about.
My mom is the concrete foundation, getting charred and battered,
Still somehow strong enough to carry us through the blaze.
My brother is the living room window, shattering into a million separate pieces,
Yet shining brighter then ever before in those little glass shards.
My "Sister" is the smoke alarm that saved my life
As I watched everything catch into a sweltering wall of fear.
I am the match that ignited the flame to burn my world to nothing but ashes
Which float in the bitter, smoke-clogged breeze
Used up
Overlooked by so many.

I am Sora,
Crumpled at the bottom of your mind, the bottom of your waste basket, the bottom of your shoes, quietly burning from the pain that
greets me with a
hard embrace
chilly breath and
numbing strength.
Coursing through the reflection
left empty like behind some doors,
I have walked out from.
I am awake
through the nights
through the days
through the hours
through the lives
I am awake.
Like a window sees everything within its sights
I can not un-see the rain marks of hurt and of blindness staining my hands.
Pocketed in the morning
I held no weight, I held everything, destined for experience, destined for hoarding
of emotions
of relationships
of others' experiences I keep
But I walk alone with a partner
holding my hand like a parent with a kid when it's
“Vaccine Time”
And I'm hearing
roaring of the comments
hissing of my weakened soul and
echoing identities I used to claim as my very own
So the waves that I am
come barreling, come surging, come crashing, come Hell or High Water
to look up is to see and to see is to create and to create is to revolutionize and to revolutionize is to
Save yourself before the stars burn up.
And she
she is my Northern Star where I am Harriet Tubman
I have been there. I am there. I will be there. I will be out there. I will be. I will waver. I will stay.
Unapologetically me.

Look her in the eyes
With my own war veiled eyes
Look her in the eyes
Try not to shy away.

Please
Girl
Come back to me
Don't leave me
Don't let this
monster, this darkness
this
boy fitting into the cracking skin of a girl
take me over

Look her in the eyes
Try not to look away
Look and see
All the hidden rejection, the hurt, the longing, the numbness
That you made her feel

Look her in the eyes
Try not to say sorry
Because somehow
You were meant to destroy your adoptive mother
And be abandoned by your biological one

Look her in the eyes
Try not to
*Shy away

I thought of angels
Choking on their halos
Get them drunk on rose water
See how ***** I can get them
Pulling out their fragile teeth
And clip their tiny wings

Anything you say can and will be held against you
So only say my name
It will be held against you

Anything you say can and will be held against you
So only say my name

I thought of demons
Burning in their flames
Dump some Holy water on them
Look at how they're clean
Ripping off their pointed horns
And snap off their tail

Anything you say can and will be held against you
So only say my name
It will be held against you

Anything you say can and will be held against you
So only say my name

You took me up so high. Higher then the Empire State Building. You took me up higher then my drugs could. You're the reason why I gave up my drug addiction and fought to be free. I've been clean ever since that night you helped me come down off my dirtied high. Thank you.

You dragged my sorry *** up off rock bottom and I've still got some cuts and bruises from then, but it's gonna be the reason I'm still alive in 2080. Same goes for you babe. Thank you.
You yanked me off the edge of the bridge near my house on a dark, rain-soaked night when I thought there was no one who loved me and wanted me. From that night on, I silently promised you each time I walked on the bridge, I would make it to the other side. I'm still here today... Thank you.
You held me the day after the "Suicide Night" happened and I was scared of the shadows.. of everything. You told me that I'd be okay... that you'd be right there with me and you wouldn't let them take me. You never once gave up on me. I'm alive because you held me for all the days until summer came. That's the best decision you'll ever make. I owe you. I love you. Thank you.
You're why I cried myself to sleep most nights since 1st Grade. I wanted to be perfect for you.Be your tiny little Romeo even though the world knew me as a little girl. You've always been that Juliet every boy dreams about. I felt like I was bringing you down. But I guess I wasn't somehow. Thank you.
You're the sole reason I'm so strong and brave. Brave enough to tell you all my filthy, ****** problems. Brave enough to trust you with my life. You're never gonna let go of me. I'll hold you forever. Thank you.
You're my wish on Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we'd all wish for one thing we wanted to have or happen and every ******' year, I wished for you to live forever and be happy. I regained my belief in miracles because of you Taz. Thank you.
You're the one and only thing I'm grateful and thankful for in my life. Nothing's worth you and our bond. At dinner on Thanksgiving, I would look to the window and say, "I'm grateful that Tasman's in my life and she gives me a world worth living in." Every ******* year baby. I love you with all my heart and everything else. Thanks.I hope I could do the same for you.

Bury me deep
*****, dark, dead
Let me go through the nights swift hand
Gently and softly
Abruptly, surprisingly
Unpreventable close
Bed of papers
Littered in the streets
Where the angels came to claim me
And He needed another heart and hand
But he does not set me free, he chains me
He does not bring good, he buried me  in the deep.
Now I am soiled
In the dirt of a martyr
In the dark of a beggars hands
In the dead of winters soundtrack

But he did no such thing as disrespect me

Medals crashing, holding, fasting
Lonely in the halls
I'm enveloped by this harmonious nightmare
and isn't that what life is coded out to be.
These medals, they come crashing, holding and fasting
Starving out ot be of honor
And I'm okay with that idea-
Fetching, tearing, withering away

To give to something better
Even if you won't remain any longer
Because when we're dead
nothing holds us above each other then
And I'm okay with that-
So live life like a celebrity
'cause in the end, you might as well have been one
And I'm okay with that.

Your love cut deep
Like a razor into my wrists
I couldn't stop bleeding

Your love struck hard
Like a baseball bat hitting my mirror
I couldn't stop breaking

Your love stung constantly
Like a hive of bees to my reality
I couldn't stop itching

Your love sliced me up,
shattered me,
made me hospitalized

I held the key
Clicked my lock shut
Before I blacked out
A twisted city black out
Neon lights gave way to the opening
My wounds healing along the way
Dripping ****** regrets and sorrow wherever I wandered
Maybe someday, a girl will come along and find the trail
I lay in a heap, to wrecked to be saved

She sees a perfect, dream car
It just needs some work..
One heart break put  me here
Can I afford to risk it again?

Diving down
Feel the murky bottom in your fingers
Spinning down
Connect with the roots
Ancestors watching over you
In the sparkling blue sky
You see a new start.

Scratched, scuffed
Your soul pressed into each pedal
The bike's taking you places you've never even heard of
******* it all in
Wanting someone there to see it with you
But you go on alone.
Getting lost in all the possibilities
The future holds

Look into the hourglass
And see that the gold sand, is still running
Less and less is falling
The mound is growing, filling up the river
Elementary days, becoming murky layers sticking to the bottom
But patches still shine in all the cool, inviting darkness
We can do this
36 more months of school
And we'll be together again

I can't go back home
Because all that's left is a little flag
Laying in the blood soaked grass

And the blue of the flag
Now just black
With pink stars in the corner

I have to go back home

I know I say I hate you
And that you're just some fat old *****
Or that I want to **** you most nights
And that I wish you were never born

But I would be dead right now
Always had someone who would keep me warm when I was in a cold world
Never missing a chance to say goodbye on my way out the door
Giving me this look of love and respect.

I love you more than a person could love their pet
You were my life support through 7 of the worst years in my life
And I love your sweet purr as you fall asleep in my arms
That grin on your little face makes all the sleepless nights worth it

You won't be around forever
I wish I could live the rest of my life with you tapping my leg for more Friskies
Nothing can bring me up from my lows like you can
Just a plop in my lap
That's my reason to keep fighting for life
Because of you.

I love you buddy, I won't let anything happen to you.
I love you more then I could ever show.
On the darkest nights, you somehow tell me to just pull the sheets up and sleep
On the hottest days, you still lay on my legs
I love you cat. I love you Luna.
Even though it may not seem like it.
You mean the world to me. I love you.

Wrapping my arms around your familiar body
Making a wall of Hope and Happiness around the two of us
Creating a world where we're the ones to thrive
Your warmth is nice
And your cheeks are the color of a perfect peach

Roaming in your forest
Gleaming gold rays drip through the canopy
You're laying right in one of them
Looking so perfect, I can't help but smile
Nothing could break us
Because I built a shield of Faith, Strength and Unbroken Promises
Garden glove in garden glove, walking back
They call her Love.
I call her Life.

I miss you
Your story in your eyes
I miss you
Your light touch
I miss you

I miss you a lot
I miss your Axe
I miss you a lot
I miss your comforting, strong hugs
I miss you a lot

I love
Your freckles
I love
Your smile when you make me laugh
I love
Your giggle when I make you happy
I love
Your jeans that I lay my hand on
I love
Your hands
Your legs
Your eyes
Your hair
Anything about you
Makes my heart crazy

You came up and knocked on my door
My faith in love and myself you did restore
And with this night growing longer and brighter
You held my hand tighter
through the unknown outcome of this love
We were flying so high, along the wings of a dove
And I will never stop writing
And I could never stop fighting
to make you happy
If you're ever having a bad day and feel ******.
Because this is us
And we're going to last forever
I will be safe and I will be strong wherever
I love you
8 months ago you took my hand, not knowing where we'd end up or how we'd go anywhere, yet you took my hand and then we flew <3

What if it makes you laugh now but you cry as you fall asleep?
We are like Young Volcanoes
We are the jack-o-lanterns in July, setting fire to the sky
What if it makes you lose Faith in me?
If my heart is a grenade you pull the pin
A constellation of tears on your lashes
What if I what I want makes you sad at me?
Anything you say can and will be held against you
Thanks for the memories

What am I searching for?
I've been shaken down to my core
Nothing's out of place
Everything belongs where it is, in its case
I just never had it
So now in the dark, I take a lantern that I've lit
To go looking for it, wandering as I go
Where it is, who it's with I don't know
Slipping slowly down the drain
I'm starting to feel less and less of this pain
As I make my way alone on this path
I finally begun to figure out the math
I have half of my heart
And I know now, that I can't find it in a shopping cart
I may have to take the trip a million times more after this
But maybe, I'll meet a girl and I will know, in just one kiss
And the lantern will no longer be lit every night
Because I have a love that leads the way as she hols me tight
So in the dead of winter
If she's away for the night, I'm sure going to miss her
But she will always be in my heart
And I will love her forever and always, even if we are apart
Sleeping through the darkness and fears
For in my dreams, all of the nightmares, she clears
And I am safe in her arms
Don't care if we're in the city or out in the country on a farm
As long as I have her I am complete
No one is better then her, so no need to compete
For we were meant to be all smiles and laughs
Put bubble beards on one another in our baths
However long this journey turns out to be
I will find the girl, with her perfect heart and I with the perfect key

The scuff of sneakers, boots and flats form the solid and stable beat.
Add in the chuckles, silences and brief interruptions to create the varying and rhythm.
All that remains is what goes unsaid but is speeding around in your mind.

That man from Uzbekistan,
He was telling us how peace and non-violence starts with us,
With middle-schools, with teens, with future leaders
To all those who laugh, when I say violence is never the answer,
You're the ones I worry about

That man from Uzbekistan,
He was speaking to us about how the kids had a parliament in Uzbekistan
Those kids had  a say in what their fate would be

Believe it or not,
But adults are not the only things to make up our society...
Infants, toddlers, 5th graders, 8th graders, 11th graders, seniors, the diseases make up us, us..

So maybe parents shelter us too much, or not at all.
And kids throw fits in the grocery store
While teenagers attempt to jump off the nearest bridge
This is our society..
But we're like those kids in Uzbekistan
We have a say in what our fate will be

That man from Uzbekistan,
He was sharing out how blessed he was to be living here in the United States
Even though he could live in a much more peaceful and welcoming society.

I have no idea how many years i will be,
Or what has to happen before we get the message across..
That's what's played out isn't acceptable

The American people,
Were baffled, devastated, overwhelmed
That all those stereotypes really were mixed within us.
Obama stood up in that room
With a shaky camera man, staring while he slumped and grieved
He addressed our nation,
Homeland,
Country
Community
Family
About Newtown,
Clackamas Town Center

No leader should ever be forced to speak about children dying long before there time was up

Or about average people ducking and diving from bullets

Gun Control is only a little layer
And that's the start of our restoration to end up being a peaceful, safe country
It begins with how youth are shown how to solve problems.

I'm willing to reach my hand out to every single state in this country
And if that means devoting everything I've got to making our restoration successful,
Then so be it..

No leader or person should be raising candles to the sky for little kids to see that they are missed.
And I took all of this in at a Lebanese Luncheon

Hey Love,
What's going on for you to walk out on me?
I thought you had walked in and decided to stay. Please don't go so soon because me without you just simply isn't the same. I'm gripping onto the little shreds you left of my heart and I'm trying to figure out how I make it whole again. Maybe someone else has the other half that I'm searching for. That I will treasure until time ends.
By the way love, since you've been gone, I've been trying to understand why my heart is the place where people go.. Knowing that it's so fragile and trashed. Probably because they think I won't notice if there's a new dent in the wall of my heart because it's already so damaged.
No matter how much you try to throw me off the road. There will be a girl there, with you in their hand, ready to fix me and make me perfect. And when I see her, I will give her the little shreds of you to show that I love her with all my heart. They see me, a far from perfect person, perfectly and I couldn't ask for anything better.
Love, promise me that you will grow a little more day by day once she gives you to me. For I hope to be able to rip a piece of you and give it to her. Promise me, she'll never stray far from me. And if I call her name at the end of the day, she'll be there and I can be at peace for the night and make it so that the breathtakingly beautiful sunrise will be there when I look into her eyes every time.
So love, I will meet you one day and you won't be leaving me. I look forward to that day when I find The Girl who holds you in her hands, waiting to find me and wrap me up. But for now, I'll keep fighting to hold onto the shreds of you that were once intact. I'll see you down the road. I won't let you go. Because you're out there somewhere.

Tripping and hoping to latch onto something or someone
So far it's been nothing but slipping into a ditch
Maybe this time I can be okay.

My dad was strong,
My mom gave me strength
This family of mine, well,
We're all survivors

Disaster will not break me.

I'm struggling
Chains wrapped around my neck, turning the lights down, even though it's my encore, my last shot to be here.
My family is chipped and cracking and fading colors of love and closeness are being wiped away with every independent meal we eat by ourselves.
My chains, I think they broke and one landed on the shoulders of my mother.
The one who can carry all of us out of a burning house..

A chain that's an anchor, that you can't just throw off or ignore the weight of.
No good morning or sleep well?
No more asking for help when she can't lift something too heavy
No more family dinners and talks
No more security

I'm growing up
Independent
Flying solo
Maybe
Maybe I'm just not ready yet, to be fighting the world myself and have the chains choking me.
Maybe my mother's voice is fading out because those chains of mine finally fell onto her shoulders. And it's all my doing, my weakness and my fault.
Maybe I'm the earthquake that's fraying and shredding our family ties.
Maybe they were right, maybe I need to go...

When there's nowhere to turn
I'll call your name
When you think you're done for
Quit fighting
When there's no light
Close your eyes
Stay strong.
The worst is over.

It's not really a goodbye
Or farewell
Still is my life
Still in my life
It's more of a See you soon

Saying goodbye is one of the most hurtful things to go through
But when you're walking tall
Through the flames that were your Hell
Everything in Hell
Made you stronger.

Goodbye means you shut a door.
Saying goodbye to memories as I lock the door.
I promised to throw away the key.
But if I throw it into the fog,
I'll be slipping through the cracks again.

Don't want to go back down into the slew of depression.
Don't think I'm strong enough to pull myself out again.
Don't say goodbye.
Please. I'm crying out into the dark.
I won't let you say goodbye to me.
I promised you, you did the same.
We don't break promises.

Lost and then found,
But the door is still locked.
We're looking for another way in.
Will we ever find it?
Are we supposed to find another way in?
Time to say goodbye.
Just not to you.

Hearts pounding,
The suicide alarm in your head is sounding
My key just broke in half
Nobody's around to laugh
So I walk to the door
Knowing exactly what I'm looking for

December walks in the fading light
My face turning a pale white
Looking out on the river, seeing the Black Sea
My eyes seem to deceive me
I close up like a dead flower
At night, my head turns into rush hour

The voices
They seem to grow nearer with all my choices
Trapped in the back of a car going up in flames
And the police are tryin' to get my parents names
But it was already too late
I was headed over since the age of eight

Nothing but an empty room
And now all that's left is a filled tomb
I took a girl with me as I went
Two lives got spent
Makes me go numb
My pulse is racing... a drum

Swirling out of reality
My strength is sinking, just like my mentality
To stay here, to stay alive
There's a ember inside of me, to survive
Loving lost ones
The burden of it weighing tons

Heart's pounding,
The suicide alarm in your head is sounding
December walks in the fading light
My face turns to a pale white
The voices they seem to grow nearer with all my choices
Noting but an empty room
Now all that's left is a filled tomb
Swirling out of reality
My strength is sinking, like my mentality

I** don't understand
Lost in what you're saying to me
Overcome by the whole idea of us walking hand in hand
Vow to forever be faithful to you
Enthralled by your smirk or grin

Your that girl who knows me only skin deep
Opening up to you like a blooming rose
Unloved or noticed by the Cinderella of my kingdom

Not giving up
At night, I reach my hand out towards you even though you aren't there
Tough to think that it's never going to happen
All I have eyes for is you
Lying alone in a cold, empty room
I wonder if I'm insane most hours of the day
Each day that passes before me, alerts me of the real world
         Because I don't have you
         To be my little firefly
         Or my crucial hand rail
         Instead, I've been abandoned to early
         To stumble in the dark
          And walk like a blind man