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Sophie Mariff Sep 2018
I close my eyes and breathe the air
cold against my skin, warm in my lungs
I breathe out and open my eyes
clouded with sparks of vapor,
I see my problems disappear until the very last drop

Twenty years of age I become
wise and unknowing, strange in places
Crying over loss and love
grieving over death and life
Smiling because happiness is a tragedy

Words and words twist relationships inside out,
crushing hearts and crushing not once but twice
Who am I to expect a return in affection?
when all I have given is divine possession?
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
One, it was blissful, innocent
full of strange adventures,
a reality that smelled so like cinnamon
Oh, what a thirst quencher
as he satiated my desires

Two, we cave in our lives
grieving for the first time
Trying to forge a friendship in this dive,
a leap of faith to try
for all we see is each other

Three, a kiss to remember him by
we spend our day in an endless summer
See, this is a beautiful night
but this is just the start to a series of heartbreaks

Four, we are at our prime
exchanging secrets messages and secrets
Like teenage years that we missed
falling in love

Five, it’s a test of separation
Without the attention
I’m lost, lonely and frustrated
How is he the only one who can fulfill this decadence?

Six, we fight a war
Deciding what is worth and what’s not
reading messages that hurt
risk getting heartbroken the third time
Giving up so much for him, I don’t want to think of it as a mistake

Seven, love is just a realization
Breaking the bond feels like the perfect thing
a nagging feeling fills my chest
Telling me that I’ll regret it
leaving him like that

Eight, a week without each other
Strangers without a word to pass
as if no memories had been made,
no true words are spoken until pride is put down

Nine, we try to heal ourselves
Salvaging a relationship that had broken
a last date to make things perfect once more
It was more than perfect as we danced in the dark

Ten, friendship is blooming
the relationship is dying
Change is inevitable and I know what needs to be done
In turn, we fight, fight, fight

Eleven, we see each other for the last time
Say forever goodbyes
smile not because it’s over but because it happened
Accept that we will never be
remember forever that we were once
Today, my ex-boyfriend goes home. We were together for 11 weeks and there is a journey through these 11 weeks.
Sophie Mariff Feb 2019
tell me that I’m pretty
please do bring me around the city
introduce me to your family
you’ll see how good I handle it

but tell me this;
do looks truly matter? Because
i certainly didn’t love you for your face
I love you for you.
fly
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
fly
one day i wish to fly
so far away, i would feel myself high
drown in the air, drunk on the blue
sorrowful hues and empty do's

one day i wish to fly
across the seas and into the dry
wet and cold, i'm convinced that i won't die
twenty years of age i live forever like wine

one day i wish to fly
abandoning, wishing goodbye to life
hello, immortality
bathing in my kind of reality

one day i wish to fly
gliding, smiling into the winds of the shrouded sky
twice a year i fly to nowhere
finding the  sanctuary that i finally deserve there
one day i wish to fly
Sophie Mariff Nov 2018
this is my goodbye to you
a sweet blanket of truth
i know that we’re better off without each other
so let’s not play games and leave for the better

thank you for being in my life
for inspiring me to do what’s right
to wish for the best
and put me to the test

i love you and I know you know
so i hope you don’t say no
to the next girl who confesses her love
and that you will never break her heart
instead fit together with her like a glove

i hope that we’ll find each other again
this time as adults who have what we’ve attained
a lifelong list of accomplishments and dreams
but baby, if only you knew you were my dream

but this is my goodbye
so i love you and it’s true
i’ll remember you and this too;
the kisses of our forever
and the memories created from whenever
For my love, J.H.
Sophie Mariff Jan 2019
if you’d told me to cross oceans for you
i will

but promise, promise
that you’ll come back for me
and you’ll meet me halfway
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
heartache, they say could weaken the soul that bears
Wondrous adventure, masochistic nightmares
somewhere in between I know that I cannot share

The heartache that I swear would never leave me bare

so take me in your arms and try to protect me sane
from that endless bittersweet pain that would never go away
For J.H.
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
i love you, three words too complicated
a description too tough
a feeling so painful

i love you, and it's true
a lie that cannot be taught
a love that will never perish

i love you, and i want you to know
knowledge for the beautiful
and you, you are beautiful to me

i love you, so please believe me
stronger than your kind of like
a word so hard to understand

i love you, a feeling that transcends
it flows through me like water
a feeling so blissful like wind

i love you, don't you ever forget
for you may forget me
but never forget my love

i love you, and i know it

i want to hold your hand
and
smell your hair
slip our fingers between each other
talk over the times of good
feel my heart bursting out of my chest
it becomes painful to understand
laugh
as happiness transcends our body and soul

smile knowing that you are with me
For J.H.
Sophie Mariff May 2019
i don’t think it’s fair for you to steal my breath away
And not give it back
to not want to lead me on
but do exactly what you said you wouldn’t

make up your mind
or I’ll do it for you
for the boy who kissed me
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
you have me in your grasp
so right, so tight
you do not love me, but you act so
you say some and your words say otherwise
i love you and that is the truth
but if you do not love me, then leave me
if you do not share my feelings, then let me leave
your greed precedes you as you crave for that endless cycle of love
i love you and you know that
exploit me all you want but remember that you don’t love me
so I’m letting you go

goodbye to all the messages with love
goodbye to all the messages I wrote
goodbye to all the waiting and craving
goodbye to all the minimal happiness

i deserve better
and you are not that better
I’m letting go of you, my love.
As how you need to let me go, I’m raising my fists to say goodbye forever.
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
one day, he’ll realize how stupid he was
letting her go and instead starting a war
Laughing instead of crying
Pretending that it isn’t tiring

one day he’ll realize what he lost
when he sees how happy she walks
Courted by another man
Falling in love all over again

one day he’ll start to feel jealousy
as he watches her joy breathlessly
Wondering where he went wrong
Never realizing that he made her strong

one day he’ll understand love
even if it’s not with the one who he hurt
Come across old pictures to burn
He’ll find himself begging for her
one day he’ll realize everything he didn’t do
Sophie Mariff Nov 2018
this kiss, our kiss
i remember the warmth of your lips
grazing my own like blankets of security
the cheeseburger from lunch
and the smell of you on my lips

our kiss, i know i will never forget
the taste of you
the taste of you that lingers
the smell of you that invades my thoughts
the smile through our kisses

your fingers that travel on my skin
a feeling that i never forget while we kiss
i want to treasure this moment forever
and kiss you again like i remember

this kiss that lingers
our kiss that matters
a kiss, and that’s all i really want
A kiss to remember me by, my love.
Sophie Mariff Mar 2019
it is not about the skin that divides our union, the colour that we're born with that let us call ourselves human
it is undoubtedly not the God that we pray to, or the science that pray tells who
so why does racism still exist? is it just a test, a test to see who is the best, or just a test to see who can jest?

in this modern society, i must express my anxiety
it is a shame that we have to hide when all we should be doing is be on the same side

i am sorry to those who have died because the people cannot swallow their pride
lives have been lost but it seems that the ones who attack are the ones at loss
racism is nothing but a way to disrespect, a ****** up way to express their wrecked emotions i suspect

hold on now sweet beautiful, for you are nothing more than a wonderful celestial
in honour of the Christ Church terrorist attack
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
I trace that steps that we took on our dates
the times for me to fall in love each day
The feel of your skin so familiar on mine
i could just imagine it if I tried

I count the steps that you took as you left
sometimes i feel like i’m better off dead
Showering in the moments the first time we kissed
oh, how splendid it is to experience your taste

I imagine the steps that it took for me to love
it wasn’t much for all it took was one look
Those dark, brooding eyelashes and smile
i wish i could forget that night

Every step we took was a step to our end
our relationship nothing more than bland
An expiration date waiting to spoil
as we say our forever goodbyes with joy
For my ex-boyfriend, my love
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
i wrote a song for you
a song for a heart bigger than the both of us
this song that speaks the language of the universe
triumphant and proud
eager and wondrous

the song speaks to me like how you would
it whispers sweet nothings into my ears
its breath fanning against my cheeks so softly
a low, deep voice that reverberates in me

i call it our song
a smile that reflects me and defends me
it keeps me awake even when i’m asleep
so sing me this song that I call ours

a treacherous song this song
for it hurts me and loves me
a beauty in words that cannot be described in ink
so i write you this song

and hope you listen to it
For my love, J.H.
Sophie Mariff Oct 2018
her eyes, her eyes shine bright like the galaxies
in her eyes there lays the universe that dreams
swallowed pride, empty sighs

Why won't he see how he shines in her eyes?

love and appreciation leaves her to bleed
twenty-one years of age, he promises not to leave
but yet as time clocks by, he sees fit to say goodbye

Take it as a soul reaper as he snatches her whole

leaving her bleeding in this cold universe
destroyed by the promises made by empty kisses
For my ex-boyfriend, J.H.
Sophie Mariff Dec 2018
we used to hold hands and drive fast
your eyes only on me full of lingering lust
Our smiles were once genuine
But now I just want to overdose on ******
the kind of drug that can take this pain
as how you hurt me still stains

Your voice invades my very thoughts
But boy do you know how annoying you got
i hate you with all my guts,
so much that my words would cut
Do you know the pain you put me through?
I’m sure you don’t because that’s all you ever do

To never understand and to never repent
For how can you when your thoughts aren’t well spent?
we are young children but my love was old
even time could tell as how the story was told

for you to betray me and use me
Be sure to be careful the next time you breathe in
I hate you, my love.
Sophie Mariff Apr 2019
if you could see the stars in your eyes when I look at them
i’m sure that nothing in this world could ever go wrong
Sophie Mariff Jan 2019
i will scream so loud to make sure my words are heard
to drown in the mix of anger and hurt
i will shout my feelings in emotional distress
so loud that the universe will stop moving this way
a voice so loud that i can finally cry
and see the tears fall knowing that i've tried
listen.
Sophie Mariff Sep 2018
Eyes that reflect more pain than love
oh, how I want to change the emotions that they shadow
If I take my heart out to gift it as yours
would you take it to keep it or would you steal it for show?
Those lips that melt the ice inside my soul
dream, dream, dream is all I fear of this day that ticks by slow
for they are nothing more than vivid memories that soon be perished
in a passion of night and day
For J.H

— The End —