In forever Autumn
We learn that death is not ugly
Painted in multicolour,
Even here the Creator's hand leaves its mark
It is in dying that we can know the order of things
And in death that we can know rebirth

The world is like an ocean.
Lost in a sea of strangers,
Hidden in the deep as a stone
Unknown, I stand alone.

But there is a God who sees me,
He is the one who saves,
Loves me and empowers me
To rise victorious above the waves.

To my heart's companion:

I have learned to unlove
Many whom I once thought worthy,
But thro' the long years,
In silence and in speech,
I have not begun to learn
How to unlove thee,
My heart's companion

It was your quiet presence
Your pure intent to delight in me
Only because I was your friend
And you were mine

Where once I was known to no one
Invisible and hidden I came
I showed you who I was
And you saw me

We may not be ever attached
As we once were
But if I could ever learn to unlove thee
I would no longer be me

The past years would lose all its meaning
I would not be the one you loved
I would not be the one you knew

Since I cannot be anyone other than me
I must love you until my last breath
You could not become any less dear to me
From year to year to year

For you entered my life
You taught me what true friendship was
And it was more beautiful than what I knew "friendship" could possibly be

It was not just knowing a person by name
Knowing their likes and dislikes
It was not even just knowing their joys and their pains
Friendship was seeing a person for who they truly were
Seeing where they had come from and the journey their life had taken
To arrive at this point
It was accepting
It was uplifting
It was showing you when you forgot that you are worthy of love
It was healing
It was binding wounds of the past
Forgiving when hurts were caused
And feeling the other's pain more than one's own
It was loving at all costs
It was being present in hardship
It was taking joy in your victories as though they were my own

My joy was in knowing you
And in letting you know me
We saw in each other
What we could become

You are a mother now and so am I
You have your share of victories and defeats
In this cruel life
We have gone through heartache
We have soared
Yet still I am here waiting
Let me share this life with you
Let me see you once again

In all the sweat and blood and tears
My sister, my friend
Let me be present
We do not ever need to be alone

Long, I have waited
Long, I dared not breathe
Not to hope
Not to look

For my great lights were gone
Moon and Sun were lost to me
Eye downcast, there was only the ground
It would be still if you had not bounded up to me

Asking nothing, being yourself
You, dancing
I, watching
And, curiously lifting my eyes to the sky
You twinkled at me

A point of true light
Not captivating as Moon
Nor potent as Sun
Tremulous diamond in my dark dark sky
Where black had once overtaken

Sight piercing the gloom
I could see the trees again
The shadow of verdant grass appeared
The wind picked up the timid leaves
Spilling over the soft hillocks

Heaven had opened its hand to me
There was yet a light left for me
One among others
You are my Star

After dark when sun's gone down
Until it is truly gone for me
At once it ends my need for sight
And softly passing the breeze lets me be

Hush that harsh cry, deafen the noise
Silence muffles the claws of sin
I will not look again behind me
Nor hear the ringing fadeless din

All the steps leading on the path before
Further into the unknown night
My feet drag on but surely on
No cliffs, no pause, no cause for light

If my heart fails not and soul yet survives
Past the line of death or life
I find my feet at last ascending
Raising me out of bitter strife

And then what greets me on the edge of night
Is a silvery thread, yet strong as a rope
Thrown down by a Saviour's love
Caught up by my hand beyond the *****

With tears I cried, "Have mercy on me, a sinner!"
My eyes lift up though my feet are worn
His hand grasps mine and now I know
Beyond the night comes the morn

I came to you thinking I would speak
But in your presence I was silent
I found no more voice to speak
I found no more tears to cry

How much ache I had been keeping
Locked inside my heart
Years of grief and disappointment
Taught me life is pain

At last I turned into your chest
As only a father's strength can give
I had no more voice to speak
I had no more tears to cry

Your shoulder bore my burden
Your arms welcomed me
For your love is the home I can count on
You always listen to me

And this time I was silent
Yet your heart heard mine
You told me I am your daughter
And you lavished your love on me

Now I know what it means
To find my rest in you
To let you carry me
When I thought I couldn't go on

You were not too busy for me
You never go silent on me
If I only care to listen
All the time in the world was mine

When I hurt you sit next to me
Always you are near my broken heart
All I need to do is lean
Dad, I love you