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Smothered Divine Nov 2020
I could not find the words to describe
How your words were falsely unified.
In your brain, you plastered them together-
Hoping to win my heart back.

'I'm Sorry, I love you.'
Verbatim.

'She meant nothing, you mean the world to me.'
Verbatim.

Remember when these words slithered out
The time before,
And the time before that?

And I stand here, yet again like I'm on a loop.
Medusa won a staring contest with my soul
When I walked into our sanctuary and saw your
6" soul haunting her narrow corridor.

The walls shivered, our planets froze.
The starry colours left my sight.
I lost count of the moments between
You moaning 'I love you'
and her scream.

'I'm Sorry, I love you.'
Verbatim.

'She meant nothing, you mean the world to me.'
Verbatim.

----
I'm losing sleep, missing pieces.
I cannot do anything but change it all.
The life we lived
Is a life I must continue to live-
Not as us. But as Me.


I dropped my paint and let it splatter-
Our once white walls are now splotched pink
and light blue.
Periwinkle and Bumble bee yellow.
Magenta and Orange-red.

MY WALLS SCREAM MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE-

---
Our sheets are now my sheets-

But I hate the 100% cotton comforts
where we rolled and kissed and slept.

Where SHE arched HER back and came to me crying in the doorframe.

So I pour 3 fingers of whiskey as the ashes consume those thoughts.
I let the flames burn the grasses, dry the land, warm my heart.

MY sheets are pastel pink with white lace accents.

----
Our home became mine and our **** became mine and our hearts stayed yours.
I am a cigarette ****, scathed, warm in mother nature's soil.
I am a rose ripped to petals left to trail the way to something.
I am warm milk at the end of the bottle that the child cannot drink.
----

-I am soaking up the sun today-
-And for once, I am Okay-
-And I'm so glad you're gone-
----

♡I'm Okay♡
Kind of an aftertaste, a bit bitter, a bit storyline.
A postscript type sequel to one of my previous poems.
Leave a comment if you can guess which one,
And if you guess right let's do a collab.
Smothered Divine Nov 2020
Time comes in moments, seconds, hours, years.
Drenching, cloaking, soaking in time we let ourselves live.
But when someone inhales?
A life is gone or changed.

Knowing this, I can positively infer that I'm changed and gone and broken all in one.

I'm like a record being used to cut dough. Useless.
Smothered Divine Nov 2020
Milk and Honey, Sugar and Spice.
I’m calm when I breathe in my headspace, one two three.
A sip of Alice’s Sippy Cup, Delirium state of mind.
I hold my head as neon lines cross my vision.
Resilient as I am, I can’t hold long.
I’m falling, falling, gone.
And then I’m back, Honey and Milk, smelling the spices and sugars-
I’m expendable, I know. So I sip sip sip from Alice’s cup, Get high and drop, fallen angel..
I’m stuck in a paradox of disappointment.
I drown my thoughts in the devil’s temptations.
I’m the Eve from my very own garden, making friends with the fruit salad.
But you’d know, wouldn’t you?
You know.
Smothered Divine Nov 2020
The petals of a rose are an expression.
Invisible strings pull her taunt
And leave her
gasping for breath in her bud.
Then petal by petal,
step by step,
we come undone.
Blooming, bursting, beautiful and free.
Some leaves crumble,
Some some innocence is wilted.
Yet still the Rose, in all her glory, managed to break through...
She survived.
She survived anxiety, longing & depression
And she was still a beauty.
Roses
are
strong



And so am I.
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