one night i took a breath

the night had stars and the wind sang above me
ice cold blades of grass laid below me
i felt no pain, i felt no pride, i felt no envy,
i felt no happiness
That night i decided not to breath again.

"i've been feeling bad the past 5 days."
"i've been feeling bad the past 5 years"

It's 5 am and everything is the same yet different, The trees are still, the grass is green and the walls stand tall.
Then why at this time of day do my thoughts turn darker?
Does my mind start to remember all the horrible things?
All the regrets, All the cries, All the pressure.

I guess 5 just isn't my number.