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Stevie Ray Oct 2014
"Oh hi, good moments and happy feelings"

"Not today man"
I wave at them when they pass by..
Stevie Ray Oct 2014
I look in the mirror
I look into my vacant empty eyes
at the end of the emptyness
I see a cave made of ancient ice

Shackled palms
Shackled feet
Frozen chains
Broken me

Stalactites formed from out my eyes
frozen fear
Frozen breath
Shackled
panic attacks
Frozen sweat
Ice sheets for clothes
Frozen trap

I
walk into the cave
enjoy the beautifull
frozen white
I
grab a stalactite
and stab
my shackled self
right in the heart

The spike slowly turns red
I look at myself
and he says: I thought you'd forget,
will you come back?

"No."

I turned my back
and I left.
Stevie Ray Oct 2014
Sold my soul to the Devil in exchange for suffering.
Stevie Ray Oct 2014
Yesterday night
After an evening of indulging myself in liquid poison
I found my self standing in a club
Boom boom boom boom
The bass strangely palpitates on the rhythm of my anxiety
Light flashes
And life flashes slashing my mind in it's entirety
Soul sweating, soaking my composure entirely
Light flickers
My psyche shivers..
****
Images with every flicker portray what I mostly miss
Quickly gulping down another glass of this *** and mix
Vision blurry, yet the imagery is fixed, so it's pointless to go full throttle
There are lots of differences
between alcohol and liquid Sorrow
Guess earlier tonight at the store I must have bought
the wrong bottles

So we put our hands up, like the ceiling can't hold us
**** that, this song is so bad it's the end of rap
As I fall within the depths
landing on deck of my Mind's Ship
Giving out nonsense orders
like I've become a swashbuckling pirate
At the end of the night
I take a dive in a sea of smoke
my brain inhales
and ironically welcomes
"Davy Jones"
Stevie Ray Oct 2014
Sitting on a cloud of poisonous blackened ash
enjoying my fake heaven provided by the best
Amsterdam has to offer.
Keeping up this relentless assault on my lungs
as if I'm trying to turn them into the tar pit
I currently reside in.
A ***** desperate attempt to claw my way
through what I'm coping with.
To put a metaphor into actual reality
by comparing reality and my actions
to an actual metaphor of my reality.
Painting my innards pitch black
because I perceive my outer world
like I'm looking through a veil of darkness.
False flag operations on myself
justified by the Demons residing
in the world that I'm carrying.
In this world that I'm traveling.
Carrying my world like Atlas
but I've lost my way..
wish I could live up to the name..
Google Maps myself back to sane.
It's hypocrit
Because I thrive of this poison
and once my mind is clouded in ash..
the pressure is temporarily relieved
like when a vulcano erupts..
But deep down it's always boiling
always smoldering
blistering cold merely touching my emotions
would leave burnmarks on my hazed out psyche..
So I don't dare touch them, it hurts..
So I don't dare to sleep, I'm scared because pondering hurts..
So I don't dare dream.. because sleeping hurts..
So I remain, blazed out of this world
Disconnected and severed from myself..
Rather face this green Hell than reality itself.
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