A feeling of acceptance.  
Within these  four white walls.
Within this house.
Within this open air prison.
Rebellious.
Bound by night and day.
A slave of time.
Destined to follow the rules of nature.
Following the rules of space.
Rules that you can't break.
I abide against my will.
Rebellious.
Within the parameters of this atmosphere.
Within this solar system.
Within space and the infinite possibilities of what lies beyond.
Within infinity itself.
Am I, unimaginably small and
insignificant on a cosmic scale.
Yet within these white walls
I am rebellious.

This room could be painted pitch black
as far as I'm concerned
spend my nights in utter darkness
Alone..
Alone with my thoughts
My thoughts
Judgemental and self condemning my mind
My mind
Feeling depressed, angry I have to wake up at nine
At nine
I wake up praying that today I'll be brave enough to grab a nine
A nine
underneath my pillow, loaded, ready to take what's left of my time
My time
Desperate to make something of what's left.
What has left
is everything I cared for. But do I have the courage to die?
To die
is to grab the nine
the nine
now resting against my head
My head
splattered open as I welcome Death
welcome Death
now I know what it's like to die
to die
is leaving everything I have left behind
Left behind
Everything I forgot to cherish
Goodbye

Take further steps
and I'll crush you with relentless force
The tides of society are already against you
and I'll send forth a tsunami wave
which will end this war
but that is if you take further steps..

I'll be passive, not attack you
nor defend myself
I'll be the neutal man
completely honost
and you'll get crushed by truth
the truth to which you are oblivious
By doing so I'll take away your power to blame me
because I'll make it so I can't be blamed..
by doing absolutely nothing
you'll deal yourself a relentless blow
that is if you take further steps..
So please... please don't..

Shadows dancing on the walls
sitting in my new apartment
one candle lit
Perfect symphony
flame and wind
a show of passion and freedom
Gods of the two dimensional world

Shadows dancing on the walls
ballet of dread
shadows of bloodsplatters
ripped muscles, hair
limbs fly freely in the air
a witness to a ****** scene

Shadows dancing on the walls
distorted figures
a show of psychoses
Gods gather on the walls
they give me instructions
a witness of the divine

Shadows dancing on the walls
they suddenly stand up
a show of intervention
the shadows whisper:'we are you'
I respond:'true, I'm me'
the shadows vanish
a witness of self acceptance

These last few weeks..
I saw how Life forsake her
and Death embraced her
cold sweats freezes
her beautifull and soft skin
I have dreams
of where she would wake up mid night
tears and fear filled her eyes
every exhale is partly ice

I would grip my pillow tighter
and hug the woman from my dreams
send my love and comfort her
and make sure she feels at ease
I would pull her close to me
wrap my arms around her tight
I would tell her that it's okay
and that I'm there in the darkest hour of every night
and I will stay untill we bathe in the brightest of lights
I will not go anywhere, I won't run away
so please.. stay with me
my woman from my dreams