I am the Maid
I am the Mother
I am the Crone
I am the Fourth

I am the roughness of the Earth beneath my feet and
I am the crashes of the waves on the rocky shore and
I am the rain splashing on your skin and
I am the wind that wipes away each season

My body breathes life as it creates and destroys simultaneously
The push and pull of life itself coursing its way through my body
The methods of the Moon guide my body as she morphs into her true form
Artemis claims me as hers

I am, but Woman
Standing still on the Earth that isn’t ready for me
Though I have been here billions of years
Man cannot fathom I am Woman.

I bumped by head when I got out of bed this morning-
and not for lack of coordination.

I was late to class but still made it there before the professor,
and I have more finals than I can count on both hands due next week.

The bills are piling up, and there's nothing I can do.

Off to lunch with friends, and then to work on a project.

I haven't seen a doctor in four years, and I can't afford to go.

I rearranged my dorm so I can find my clothes easier. Now they're in rainbow order!

I haven't bought new clothes in so long that they don't fit anymore.

We took a trip to get wine today-
but we broke down on the way back and now I have to call a tow truck. Yet another bill.

It's 3 am and I'm trying to finish this paper before it's due at 8 am- something about a curriculum? I don't remember anymore. I'm just putting words on paper.

I've been off my meds for months now because they cost more than I can afford. What can I afford? $0.00

My hallmates will not shut the **** up, and I need to study for this exam.
I can't afford to live off campus so I have to deal with it.

I'm 21, but most people still treat me as a child.

I can buy my own wine but I can't make my own decisions.

I can buy my own wine, but I can't afford to.

When you come into my classroom,

I Love YOU.
Exactly the way you are, just as you walked into my room.
I don't love you more when you please me, and I don't love you less when you mess up.

I don't love you any less for who you love, or how you love. I don't love you any less for the color of your skin, where you are from, or what language you speak.

I don't love you any less for your gender, or gender- identity.

If anything, I love you even more for being who YOU are; and not anything else.

curves and lines and wrinkles and scars and bumps and lumps and

This is my body.

curves and scares and

imperfections; my imperfections.

Mine.

balloons.
bulbous and shiny and colorful and full of laughter
children with bright eyes and high pitched laughs

let go of the string and the fun flies away.

you spent the days by the side and the nights in my bed
but you never looked at me

you spent the days by side but
you didn't turn your head.

you spent the nights in my bed but
couldn't look me in the eyes.

you spent the days by the side and the nights in my bed but
you couldn't pick me out of a crowd.

And when you left my bed for another;
you barely took a breath.

forever doesn't mean together.

forever means until I say the end.

fragile bump inside me
unknown to most
smaller than a pin
and just as painful as you go

you were almost in my arms
but you fell too fast and now you sit heavy on my heart
one day to be reunited

you were almost mine to hold, to love, to raise-
but my dear, you were needed elsewhere

almost mine to love but, heaven loved you more so
he took you from me to keep for his own

almost mine, but you didn't want to stay here

almost, my dear.

almost.

Swish, swish
boom, boom

baton in hand.
beat goes down.

Sound appears as if my hands had that power.
They don't-

Yet when I show a beat, a sound appears.

I lost the way home from the moon and
instead landed among the galaxies of
far away ideas and cultures

I thought I was lost, but it turned out that
home was not where I thought it was.

Instead, it was among the trees and tall grass where the
crystal clear water churns over and over my bare feet in the sandy shores
and
where I can hear the sounds of silence cascading down my back and
where no man had thought this is where we would be free

Home was not where I thought it was,
and that's okay.

BOOM.
and everything was gone-
faster than a bee sting.

In and out in a milisecond.

And there's nothing we can do about it.

Her fingers glide across the keys at speeds
Stopping hearts and holding breaths with swish of light
Creating worlds of bright and lush young leads
Fantasies and majesties from keys too bright

Drawing bows and tapping feet to beats
Conducting flows from left to right and back
And mallets striking from the back row seats
Hearing heels and clicks and clacks

Knowing feats and smiling strings and accompanies
Musicians wiping sweat in beat with hands
Calloused by their zeals for destinies
Painting pictures of timeless purple lands

Singing songs of passion and defeats
And wondering if souls could ever greet.

falling
falling
  falling-
    falling.

anti-gravity.

i am sorry.
i am sorry that i am self-absorbed.
i am sorry that i am opinionated.
i am sorry that i don't meet your standards.
i am sorry i don't meet your needs.
i am sorry i am not perfect in your eyes.

i am small.
i do not matter.

However-
i am not sorry that
i don't fit in your boxes of what humanity should look like.

i am not sorry that
i am me;
i may not matter in the long run,
     but ****.

you don't need to remind me.

Stay sweet, my love.
And fill the room with kisses, hugs, and cuddlebugs.

Stay sweet, my love.
And end your days with tickle monsters and giggles.  

Stay sweet, my love.
Don't let the crudeness of this world corrupt your tiny hands and
your sweet smiles. Don't let it crush the soft pitter-patter of your feet across the tiles, or dull your bright oceanic eyes.

Stay sweet, my love.
Because that's all you have here. Don't allow the harshness of others dull your sunshine- because once it's gone, you can't get it back. Show the world your innocence, and show them how special it is. Help it rediscover it's light.

Stay sweet, my love.
And don't let anyone dull your rainbow. Spread your colors for all to see, and maybe one day they will see-

Just how sweet you can be.

She's got eyes on her wings and
wings on her eyes-

Covers the lines on her hips with the
lies and the groove of her hips.

And she has too many lines on her body she made.