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Sia Harms Aug 25
The light on the sewing machine left on,
Designs laid out, patterns discarded—
My fingers were hesitant
To let the fabric run through the needle.
I recalled the time it plummeted,
Toward my small, pink nail, the silence
And piercing pain that followed.
It was only the tip of my finger.
What would it feel like with long, rusted
Nails, pushed through my wrists?
Would I scream?
Would my torn vocal chords
Deafen the revolting crowds?
Or would I hang there, as Jesus did,
My heart full of love for those who
Condemned me, outweighing the burden
Of scathing sin, flowing like smoke
From the masses and pressuring
My frame until it suffocated?
“Forgive them,
For they do not know what they do.”
Lord, I could never have done
what you did.
That is why I need You.
And I always will.
Sia Harms Aug 20
The pages of my bible
Became water-stained,
Circles of heartache,
The tears Jesus wept,
Sinking into Truth.

The paper holds all
Of the blue emotion,
As if my Father
Were wiping my tears,
Overcome with love.
Sia Harms Aug 20
Rightness travels in a bus,
Holding a yellow pole,
Waiting for its stop.
The scenery speeds by,
My interiority bleeding open,
  yet never slowing,
      forever lost.
On the rail tracks of my God,
I blink, zoom out my gaze,
And see all of the souls,
Provided and beautiful,
Sitting patiently beside me—
A gift to grow in Spirit
Before I’m ready for the station
   impatiently awaited,
        sitting in dusk.
Sia Harms Aug 20
Distraction from truth—
I waited in bird calls,
Hoarding sensitivity.
Did I respond,
Or only become glass,
Fragile and hidden,
Afraid to step outside
For fear of breaking?
Sia Harms Aug 19
Dresses pushing prams,
The evidence of life
And its rotation.
Girls showing their insecurity
On exposed skin,
Walking the path
Towards the world’s

Low-hanging validation.

Outside of the motion,
Eyes an X-ray to the soul,
I watched the hearts
On the left side of their bodies
Move up and down,
With every breath, every step,
And I thought aloud.
Where would my words go
If no one ever heard them?

Clouds coming in,
Soft and pink,
Like the curtains in a nursery
For a baby who never came.
Did she still hear the lies
In her head,
Even as an infant?

There was a part of me
That did not want to know.
There was another that
Imagined the mother,
Full of rocks at a shoreline,
Her body a mesh enclosure,
Weighed down as the waves
Of grief washed over her,
Again and again,
Until she was only the sand
People collected on vacations.

I’ve gotten carried away,
But I know, somewhere,
A girl looks at these clouds,
And sees her sorrow
Held in God’s hands of sunset,
Coddling the child in softness,
Before, through, and after the rain.
Sia Harms Aug 18
Lord, I am everything and nothing,
A part of the plane as it moves—
Do the tears come every time
We cut through a full cloud?
Am I raining on small towns,
Creating puddles for little girls
To play in? I can hear their laughs
Bounce off of the ceramic roofs,
Filling the raindrops with joy
Just before they land,
Decorating dark, trodden roads,
With the emotion society lacks,
The unfeeling asphalt
Collecting pockets of sorrow
And giggles, wondering why
It was not more common—

I only rain once a year.
Sia Harms Aug 18
Circles of grandma’s nails,
Round and round along my back--
“Cumbaya, my Lord,’
A melody on rewind.
The blinds flashed with lightning,
Shedding light on the quaint room,
Childhood in the textile details—
“I love you.”
My response quenched by salt,
The thoughts I was trying to shut off,
“I’ll see you soon.”
Wet pillowcase and itchy hair,
Forced breathing lifted to prayer—
All is well.
Slanted outlets, a bursting suitcase,
The smell of eucalyptus,
Crisp on a two dollar coin—
“Did you forget anything?”
Yes, only you.
A bundle of memories my mind
Decided to discard without consent,
Forever scrambling to grip
The dregs of what maybe was—
“I love you to the moon
and back”
I finally said, asleep in pieces,
A little girl, crying again.
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