I don't feel my reasons and excuses will ever end. After seeing you, I will always expect your gaze, and this persistence will add a new chapter to my book.

I don't feel that the waves in my book stop hitting rock bottom to see if you are looking at me, so my reasons and motivation persist; the book remains incomplete as the chapters never conclude.

This never-ending book reminds me of your particular gaze, which I yearn to feel in my heart. But my expectation that you should look at me wins, and so the book always remains incomplete with its futile persistence.
©shivpoetesspriya

If I have developed feelings for you, it's a good turn. At least it's better than constantly fighting with you.

But if it's about developing feelings, it's more than that because you're always more than just a mother.

Will my feelings lead me to a safe place?
A safe place for my conversations with you?

Won't it be more than feelings?
I wish it were more than feelings because you are always more than a mother.
©shivpoetesspriya

It hurts when you look at me, and I'm not there.

My entire being hurts, and there is something I can't digest when you don't look at me.

Today, it hurts even more because I am unable to meet your gaze.

I used to be angry and tell the illusion and delusion in me about me never missing your gaze and ascertaining without confusion about how it feels when you look at me, and I never miss it.

But today, a whole of me is very lonely.
And it hurts that I miss all your gazes, especially your special frowning capabilities.
©shivpoetesspriya

People hold their dearest treasures within themselves.
People cherish their closest friends and family.
And life goes on.
People experience joy and sorrow throughout life's ups and downs.

One thing is true for me: yours is a clear picture that I carry in my heart, and I am captivated by your look.

I carry your picture in my heart, and I can sense you are tired of me.
Despite all the madness in the world, I have this connection, even though I think you are tired of me.

Your gaze, which I feel is tired of me, has a special place in my heart.

I hope I cross the upper ladder to feel your sweet smile.
©shivpoetesspriya

If I look at my right,
I know I'm going to miss you looking at me.
I will surely miss you when you look at me in my old place.
Because the heart always goes back to an old place.

Will you leave me alone there?

If I look at my right, I know I will have to tell myself to ignore that you are ignoring me, and despite you ignoring me, I will have to keep up my feelings for you.

Why.

The reason is intact with me.
Does a selfish heart have a reason?
The reason that you always see me?

A selfish heart will no longer be a selfish heart then.
©shivpoetesspriya

I don't want to be this close to you
That you keep ignoring me.

Something is not digesting that is
when you don't look at me.

Why is your look so important to me?
Just a simple look?
A small wish?
Is it so hard to fulfill?

Or to know that when I feel Nothing for you, a simple look also doesn't mean anything.

So I was close to you to feel what?
©shivpoetesspriya

Is it possible for anything to grow solely based on wanting your gaze?
Will the weak rooting inside grow with the filamentary feelings of wanting your gaze?

If it can, let me know about my intention,
then there is a chance I can plunge into to be closer to you.

With what light shall I carry this dive?
With what hope?
I feel the intentions are aware of not receiving your gaze, which is my base and rooting.
©shivpoetesspriya