Heights and when
I look at someone's eyes
But only see the
Whites
And the sound of your
Voice telling me
It's time to make
That choice.
The way my breath
Leaves my lungs
As lies bounce off
Our tongues
And spiders that crawl
On my
Bedroom wall
While I sleep....
Time, never ending
Or simply
Suspending
Leaving things
Unfinished, undone
Nothing lost
Nothing won.
A meaningless life
Filled with
Struggle
And strife
Never reaching the end
Always have to pretend
To be fine
And the only
Face that you'll see
Is the one
That's not
Me
While the real me
Inside
Is content
Just to
Hide.

My favorite necklace
Is a noose
And I laugh when you
Make it too loose cuz
You're always trying
To save me.
You're my favorite
Voice inside my
Head
And the only
Monster underneath
My bed
But you don't
Exist, you're  just an
Extension of
Myself
Just like everybody
Else
In my life I ever loved
Cuz who I am
Is just not
Enough
For anyone to
Love for real.
My whole life
Revolves around
Fight or flight
Cuz I'd rather let myself
Drown
Then let someone
Down
And I'd give it all
Up, the little
That I have
Just to see you
Smile
Just to see you
Glad
To be alive
Even if you only
Exist
In my mind.

I've come to realize that
I have no home
No space I can
Call my own
No room where I can
Run and hide
When the world becomes
Too much
To bear
But no one cares
Cuz I bounce between
My parents house
And the apartment
I once called
Mine
But now only belongs to
Him.
He never did learn
To share
And the more days
I live on travel sized
Toothpaste
I realize how much
Of my life
Is a
Waste.
No job no skills
Just time
To ****
With this nagging
Sense of
Doom
I'm running out of room
To breathe.
No home to call my own
I've grown used to
Running
From my problems
And reaching for
A hand to save
Me from my open
Grave
But never find one there
Or anywhere.

and along the way
i seemed to
outgrow
you

i tend to over think things and
sometimes i'm too
sensitive
taking everything to heart.
there are days when
all i want
is to
cry
and others that are
filled with
laughter.
i'm clumsy and careless and
a little too self conscious
but if you care
enough
to let me in
i'll show you the
secrets
i hide behind this
cracked smile.
when i whisper
it's only because i
don't want to hear
my own voice
and when i sing
it's to tell you
how much
i love
you.
i love the beach right
before summer
really hits
and i love the
autumn leaves
before they
fall.
my favorite flavor is
you
and my sanctuary
is your
embrace
and when you laugh
it's like my own
lullaby.
but even with all
the beauty in
this world
i still
ceased to see
the light
and i gave in to the
darkness.
and ever since i
survived
i take it just
one day
at a
time
but i know
i'll be
alright
cuz i have you
right by
my
side.

it only seems fair
that after the dagger
i put in your heart
is removed,
i give you a free shot
at mine.
i thought that would be
the worst pain in
the world
but i was wrong;
the worst is knowing
i gave you that
chance but instead
you shook your head
and plunged the dagger
back through
your own
chest.

if i had the connections
i'm sorry to say
i'd probably be
addicted to
everything
cuz god knows
i'm hooked on
you.
i just have that type
of personality
that says there is
never too much of a good thing
but can't tell the
difference
between what's good
and what's
bad.
you are my gateway drug
and soon i know
i'll be in
over my
head.