You’re not what I thought you were
          In the beginning
And you’re not what I thought you were
          In the end.
As it turns out,
     People are greyscale-
Happy and sad
And angry and kind
And spiteful and full of love.
All at the same time.
          There can’t be black and white
Because this is the human condition
     Perfect and imperfect
          And everything in between.
I loved you
          And I hated you.
And I couldn’t decide what your intentions were.
          Because you are a beautiful and conflicted
     soul who gave what you
          could and
left me to sort out the rest.

Sometimes
People see a part of your soul.
And they think they know everything.
But you don’t know that I dream of moving to a different country.
You don’t know that my stubbornness matches your own-
but I only use it when it seems worth the fight.
I hate to hurt people. But I will also do what I have to.

And I thought it was funny when we got handcuffed.
I wasn’t afraid of you- just the explosion.
I try to be logical, but I’m a hopeless romantic
I won’t apologize for who I am, in spite of my apologetic nature.
And I do understand love- and I do love you.
In spite of everything. You are more than you know.
But I’ve also moved to a more objective plane of view.
And I’m glad that you saved yourself,
     even if there were some casualties along the way.

So many months and nightmares later… and there he was.
She wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for his shoes…
And she realized.
He was just someone who had changed her life.
And now he is someone who no longer has a place in it.
And it feels like calm, quiet acceptance.
The best kind of freedom.

The difference between boys and men
had never been more clear to me than when you became a ghost.
Chivalry might be dead, but you’re a whole other type of gone.

All I ever asked of you was to be civil.
Yet here we are- obviously far past civility,
Licking our wounds,
Whoever said we are better than animals-
Well. They were wrong.

You told me you only go for messed up girls.
But I’m more your type than you could ever imagine.