I can't believe it
A suicidal person like me
Has lived this long
I was hoping to end the streak
But my body is impenatrable
Can't **** it
I feel like I'm unable to die
I wish I could
But maybe its for the best
Who knows what else might happen
I've gone through abuse
Drugs
Suicidal attempts that wound up in the hospital
But somehow I'm alive
And I wish I never was

Why would I confess to something I didn't do
If I was crazy, I would
But I do confess that I tried harming myself
Last night on 2/4,
I stabbed a knife into my side
I burned my arm
In hopes I would die
But I didn't
And I wish I did

Its confirmed
My depression is real
Not self diagnosed
But clinically
I hope to get better
While I'm writing to you,
But I can't
Because I have the flu

It's fine to like a girl
But I want to like more
A gay trans boy
Forced to look cis and straight
And its nice for a while
But it gets uncomfortable
I want to be with HIM
Not her, but if I stop going out with her
She would **** herself
I can't risk it
So I have to cheat
But is it wrong?

Hope can be a beautiful word
Or it can stay silent
Putting us in despair and feeling hopeless
Every single day

I found you
                   d
                      e
                        a
             ­             d
                             Lying on the ground
                                                          ­    with a
                                                                ­        k
                                                       ­                n
                                                               ­      i
                                                               ­    f
                                                               ­  e
                                             In your hand
                      Knowing your death was on  purpose
                                       My heart
                S.    T.    O.     P.        S.
In the hope you would be fine
          Eyes cloudy
    Like an overdose on morphine
        But clear as day
  That it was a stab in the h      e
                                    a               r
                                             t
                     With a mix of oxycodone
                        Wish you were
                                                      e
        ­                                          v
                     ­                         i
                                      ­    l
                                       a
But fate doesn't

                           L
                              I
                               ­  E
               I'll join you in the afterlife
     With a match
Or a    n        o
       o                s
                e
                    Or even a
                                       e
                                   if
                          kn
           I'll figure it out
                                   I can't live
      with. out.- ------  
^-^^^^--------^^---------------------- *beeping stops

You're always in my head
Playing the same love song
The one that attracts me to you
I wish you weren't asexual
But I accept it
Even though I want so much more with you
And I know I'll never get it

My heart bleeds like a knife was stabbed through it
Wanting to die
**** me already
I take a drug
Battling addiction
Scratches up and down my arms
Want.... to die
Please, for my own sanity **** ME ALREADY
I feel useless
Suicide note confirmed
This is my note
Goodbye world......

Feeling alone on a Sunday night
This could be the death of me
Seeing the knife cut the cake
This could be the death of me
Trying to escape the knots and holes I made
This could be the death of me
But I still go
Rising above my fears
Like the Himalayan mountains
Growing like the bamboo in my backyard
But still, this could be the death of me.

A gentle touch to my skin
  You've won me, again
    We met on Magma, a digital art website
      But I didn't know you would abuse me
        My body trembled as you started to flirt
           And I wish that I never heard
              You sent pictures and messages
                 That I didn't want
                   And then you found out my name, my address, my home
                       You flew from Virginia, finding me here
                          And you took me, kidnapped me
                              You did things to me that I didn't want
                                 And I wanted to die
                                But you kept going
                               Scarring me for life
                              I ran away trying to live
                             Didn't bother to take my shirt
                            I thought to myself
                           Why is my life like this
                          I reported him, got him banned
                        But he found me again, threatening me
                      That he would **** me if I didn't do what he wanted
                     I said no, and he pinned me down
                    Breathing down my neck
                   With a knife in his hand
                  He said he wouldn't hurt me if I took everything off
                 But I still said no
                He forced my clothes off and did what he wanted
               Leaving my body alone
              He then yelled to me
             And said "Did you think we were done?"
            I said yes, and started to run
           He came for me, catching me
          Then he took the knife
        And stabbed it into my side
       I had to follow him or my heart would've been next
      But this abuse I have experienced
     Was the worst one yet
    He threw me to the curb
   With no clothes
  But still, I ran
Ran home
To the home I knew

I wish you loved me
But you said
'I love you more than a friend
But less than a lover'
And I can't help but cry
And scream
And feel alone
And I can't see
Or hear
Or smell
I can only feel
Feel the pain in my chest
As I know you don't like me
And I'll stray away
Away from my home
My family
You
Until you love me
Again
And again

I'm being sent to a mental hospital
A place where someone can watch me
So I don't die
But I'll be missing school
And I'll have nobody to see
Nothing to do
But wait
Wait to get out

Last night I was in pain
I cut my crushes' name onto my stomach
I tried hanging myself
on 2/11/25
and my friend reported me
to the administrators
and I tried the lifeline
they couldn't help

I haven't written in a while
Because I was with the suicide hotline
I lost my device
And my love with it too
So I am glad to be back
Writing my feelings
My thoughts
And words

Red is for your lips; shiny, glossy, perfect
Orange is for your laptop; you always carry it around
Yellow is for your highlights; as blonde as the sand dunes in the desert
Green is for your eyes, which sparkle in the moonlight
Blue is for your emotions; broken and fixed at the same time
Violet is for your hair; the most beautiful shade of plum

                        I love you, Luna <3

Dropped down into divine judgement
With a mark on my hand
They said 'Go to hell'
And so I did
I walked to my ring; Lust
With a smile on my face
Blue skin, with pink and indigo hair
I knew that I wasn't going anywhere
This life of mine has become a cycle
Seeing demon after demon
Just **** it all out
And ***** sinners watching the most professional **** star
Lust is nice and all
But I want a break
Maybe someday, I can go home
To earth
And live a normal life

Light as a feather
Deep in shadows lie silence
Falling down near me

Walking in the forest
I get a sense of who I am
My body falls down
And I wake up again
But as an animal
I feel my paws running
Across the bridge
I'm finally free from my human body
But it ends
And I'm back
In my body
That I wish was an animal's
It happens again
Feeling a tail
Paws on the ground
But I can never escape the human body
I once knew

Silence grows in the night
No wolves to howl
No birds taking flight
No dogs to growl

Only yesterday did that silence break
To think it would end
But I stood near a lake
And my bones started to bend

Snapping and screaming
As I watched my body covered in blood
I wish I was dreaming
Then, my head made a small thud

I was unconcious
Laying on the ground
My life was hopeless
And wished I'd drowned

I leaped out of my body
A spirited ghost
I could see everybody
Everyone except me, the host

They watched the light leave my eyes
Screaming in horror
I'm not alive,
Not anymore

Silence grows at night
When there are no people around
Nothing in sight
No sound

Bushes stop shaking
Birds cease chirping
Nothing breaking
Not even the wind swirling

Dark as midnight
Light as snow
I wish I could take flight
As my new wings grow

But as silence grows
I'll always feel alone
There's nothing that can show
That I'm not afraid of the unknown

I grabbed a string
And tied it around my neck
Made it tighter
And tighter
Until I couldn't breathe
Threw one end over my door
And pulled
I wear a red line on my neck
Almost had blue lips
Almost died
But my mom
Found me
And cut it off
I wish she never did

I tried suicide
Mom didn't like it that much
I'm better off dead

suicide kills
literally
but the only thing it will **** tonight
is me
only me
nobody else
no hotline can save me
no crush can force me out of it
if I die trying to live
then why die?
a touch to my skin
a purr from your mouth
my life is used up like a pencil
dull and small
soon it will be used up one last time
and be gone forever

I just took a science test
Didn't fail
but at the same time
I didn't pass

Thanks for being homophobic to me
I can handle it
Thanks for the assault
I'm much stronger now
Thanks for the depression
You made me who I am
Thanks for the things you said
The things that made me feel alive

I can survive,
I'm strong

Birds chirp
Gossip
Say things that hurt
But they can't speak
Not for themselves

Humans talk
Gossip
Say things that hurt
But they can't chirp
Not like birds

Birds are amazing, beautiful creatures
With their soft wings
And bright colors
And soothing sounds

Humans are amazing too
With their archetecture
and design

But we are the same

I can feel the wind
The scent of the wild
Hands turn into paws
Teeth into fangs
Growing an animal nose
Fur bristling on my back
I run as fast as I can
Sprinting past the lake
I'm finally who I want to be
But I yowl in pain as I transform back
Back into a human
The worst animal to transform into
Change me back
Permanantly

As a trans male
I wish to look like a boy
But with long hair
And a feminine face
I look nothing like a boy

With a big chest
And low on testosterone
Nothing a chest binder can help with, right?
Wrong.

I can't get out of this girl-ish body
My transphobic family
Keeps me from becoming
Who I really am

Stab in the side
                    Make me cry
        Stab in the foot
                     Yes, it hurt
     Bruises on my arms
              Don't be alarmed
         Cuts on my wrist
                    Add it to the list
          Burned my chest
               Definitely not the best
                                Lies on the side
                                    Laws to abide
           Tonight I'll die
With a ****** knife at my side