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Seven Jan 2015
I don't believe
in forever
but I do
in you and me.
M and C
hopefully they will last
Seven Jan 2015
I liked you before
in 5th grade
you were tall as I remember
even now you still tower over me.

When I saw you again
the feelings started rushing in
Now a sixteen year old boy
Tall, Cute, Outgoing
Mr. Personality
as they called him
I never saw you again after that day.

I didn't expect to see you again
at a dinner that my sister set
I was shy and quiet
aloof and distracted
I couldn't talk to you
not because I liked you
but because words float in my head
that can't seem to make up sentences.

I tried talking to you at the wedding
but you seemed shy
or was I just assuming
and you just had nothing to say
3 feet apart from each other
suddenly
****** to link arms to walk down the aisle
and even to dance awkwardly
in front of the crowd
an awkward arm hug and a kiss on the cheek
I thought that was the last time.

It was a Sunday night
when I saw you again
built up my courage
and tore down my walls
talked to you for two hours
and that says it all
an awkward good bye ended it all.

I decided to text you and
say "Hi :)"
lead to a long conversation
about random things under the sky
it went right and left
left and right
then suddenly it just stopped
because I rejected your company or because you lost interest in me?

I saw you this Wednesday
and we talked about
our friends' love lives and what not
for sure it wasn't as awkward as I thought
our last words were
Good night.

Now that everything is said
that is how our story ends
I'd like for it to remain this way
even if deep inside
there is
this
little
voice
inside of
me
that is telling
you
"Stay."
stop infiltrating my brain
Seven Jan 2015
You text me in the middle of the night
it doesn't feel right
to assume that you like Me
when you are just being nice.

Oh boy
I don't understand why you infiltrate my mind
with silly thoughts of you.

I have only loved once
if you can even call it that
I have only trusted once
for sure I have.

I know it's wrong to think of this as something more
Maybe it's me being hasty
or
Maybe it's just me bringing out the girl inside.

I hate this feeling of uncertainty
it makes me feel distressed and unhappy
whirlwind of emotions
can suddenly cause a major destruction.

Anyway
as I soon as we said Hi
I already felt the
Goodbye.
being irrational in the middle of the night
Seven Jan 2015
Side by side
Your elbow next to mine
6 inches apart
I don't like how You're right next to me.

Your eyes look at me
Looking at the periphery
How could this possibly be?

Awkward is one word to describe
our spontaneous encounter
And it made wonder
How much I used to Like You.

Your voice echoes in my ear
I can't seem to find the right words to say
Apologies are all I could mutter in front of your face.

6 inches apart
seems so close
but I felt so far from You.
Seven Jan 2015
He came to me by surprise
With a "Hello" and a charming smile
I sat next to him in the car thinking
"This is crazy. I was only joking."
He doesn't make my heart flutter
He doesn't make my skin tingle
He doesn't make me clammy or out of breath
but
He does make me smile
He does make me laugh
He does make me think about him a lot
And most importantly
somehow he makes me feel less cynical about love even for a little while
We talked and talked and talked until early morning
and that's how it ended
with an awkward high five and a "Goodbye."
Just so I can stop thinking about it
Seven Jan 2015
it could be the cold breeze seeping in
or
it could just be my dreary imagination
I have finally come to a decision that
I hate this.
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