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Public Diary Oct 2015
I wish i was exaggerating on how its always one good thing then a string of bad.

My luck is always the worst, i always complain about how i'm cursed. But i'm not lying, it ***** how hard im always trying. Good fortune just doesnt come my way that much, when it does its always just a touch.

It never hangs around, it always feels like I'm hell bound. Why can't I just be free? Why can't I just say "I'm glad to be me"?

I hate my luck, and its not just my attitude. I always try to have gratitude!

The universe just hates me, what rotten luck! I wish the majority of things that happened to me didnt ****. I wish it didnt feel like im being tested, i just want to feel rested! I want to have a break from this, i want to have a turn in being surrounded by bliss. I want things to work in my favor, not always tasting a bitter flavor.

Somday ill get my turn, someday ill be free but until then....its just bad luck and me.
If only i was exaggerating on how often unlucky i always am.....
Public Diary Nov 2014
You've glanced and looked my way for a while now
With you're eyes bright blue like the sea.
I wonder what you think when you look at me.

Now I realize you're as pretty as can be, but that's not all, there's more about you that eyes cannot see.

You've got brains to match your beauty, truly something rare.
You're shy but you're so sweet, someone everyone should meet.

Just thinking about how your eyes dart away when our gazes meet makes me smile.
I hope we can get together in a while

I want to talk to you, make you laugh and smile
eventually talking to you about being together for a while.

I'm not smarter than you, not more attractive or sweet, in every category,
you truly have me beat.
But if we do get together I have a feeling it'll last
and one things for sure,
I'm falling for you fast.
I wonder if your glances don't mean anything and I'm just reading more than there is. Well even if that's the case, it wouldn't hurt to get to know you
Public Diary Jan 2015
Hot, dry, no water in sight
The sun let's down burning light
For survival you fight, pushing forward with all your might

Skin cracked lungs bathing in sand each breath feels like a meal of niddles impalling you inside tears dry you can't even cry

The journey seems infinite there's no water in sight the wind more celascent than the sun dreams of rivers unfold as our minds are enveloped hope is dead we are doubters in the land of vultures


The vultures circling with winds blowing
A storm of sand envelopes the land. It fills your lungs making you cough and hack all while the sun and sand beat on your back
It gets in your eyes and you can no longer see nor stand, eyes shut, at the mercy of the sand
Bold=Jamie
Italicized=Kai
Public Diary Jan 2015
I'm am the ocean, I can be
beautiful and **dark
Public Diary Jan 2015
I love you

You're the one that makes me feel whole, the one who sheds light on my tired soul.

Push your lips to mine. Hold me and tell me everything will be fine. Tell me our dreams will come true, tell me "I can't live without you"

Tell me I'm the core of your heart like you are for mine, say *I love you

And plant flowers in my mind.

My mind was destroyed by the pain of the past, shrouded in darkness, broken needing a cast. Say I love you and erase the dark. Say I love you and leave your love's mark.

Plant flowers in the wickedest parts of my soul, where darkness continues to take its toll. Say I love you and leave your love's mark.
*Claim my heart as yours and say it does not belong to the dark
I haven't had a rhyming poem in a while so
Public Diary Jan 2015
I'm the boy who always wore shorts and a t shirt
I'm the boy that never felt pain
I'm the boy who never got cold
I'm the boy that was brilliant
I'm the boy that always was the toughest
I'm the boy that was said to be indestructible

I'm now the boy that wears long sleeves
I'm the boy who laughs sometimes but not as much as I used to
I'm the boy that doesn't try anymore
I'm the boy that gave everything he had to one girl
I'm the boy that's had his heart broken beyond recognition
I'm the boy who gives himself bruises
I'm the boy that's had his world plunged into darkness

**im the boy that's still holding on
Public Diary Dec 2014
What are those? Are they buildings?
"No, they're the walls"
Walls? When did they get there? Who built them?
"Obviously you. You are the king of this place, but you built those walls nearly two months ago. Don't you remember?"
I guess I forgot.....
Public Diary Feb 2015
~the most over rated ******* in the world
Public Diary Jan 2015
Thank you for being here for me when I felt alone and sad.
Thank you for listening to me scream when I was mad.

You understand my pain because youve gone through it too.
Very quickly, I opened up to you.
I told you what hurt, what made me scream and shout and you in return, calmed them into pouts.
You've calmed me down and made me feel like I wasn't alone.
You always help my mood quiet down into a calmer tone.

Thank you moona, thank you for listening to me
You always help me set my pain free :)
For moona c:
Thank you for helping me calm down
Public Diary Dec 2014
That feeling of being light headed and the  heaviness in my stomach brought upon hearing someone say they had a baby with you or you want someone else like that. The emptiness I'm feeling is so nostalgic
Public Diary Dec 2014
What's your favorite part about the rain?
The way that people can't tell the difference between the droplets that fall from the sky onto my face and the ones that form from my eyes
*Sighs*
Public Diary Jan 2015
He runs into the woods alone, sad from what he's seen. He runs and runs through the greens, wondering for the future what it means.

Slowly he walks home, a cave hidden in the trees. He lets soft cries of sadness get lost in the breeze.

He lays down, head low, the sadness in his heart continues to grow. Large warm tears form and fall, sadness running deep.

Slowly, the bear cries himself to sleep
Public Diary Dec 2014
silence*






Need I say more?
Public Diary Dec 2014
"You finally know my real name....I've been waiting for you to be able to hear it for so long now.....
Public Diary Dec 2014
Will 3 times the recommended dose **** me?
Public Diary Feb 2015
Time the most precious thing in the world, the thing that constantly slips through our fingers

Nothing will stop it, nothing can stop it

It is the ink that spells out the words for our life stories and one day

**the ink will run dry
Public Diary Dec 2014
Are you scared?
"scared of you? Hah, not even close!"
Really? I am....
"What kind of ******* is scared of himself? That doesn't make any sense!"
swords clash
The kind that knows what they're capable of when they no longer have restraints....
Public Diary Dec 2014
"The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red

Big surprise
Bears demise
Bleeding from his neck

Knife in hand
Bright red band
Bleeding heavily

Tears on cheek
Eyes can't peak
Closed, never to open again

Skin ice cold
No longer bold
Pale drained of life

The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red"
"Just a lullaby, for you A"
Public Diary Dec 2014
I hope I die today
Public Diary Oct 2015
Theres nothing like writting on pages and filling them with your mind
Public Diary Nov 2014
You've never seen me with another girl have you? You've never seen me smile and talk with any other girl but you. You've never heard me talk about how cute another girl is. You've never seen me have an interest for another girl. I saw you looking at me while I was with her, I wonder what you thought
Public Diary Jan 2015
She continues to feel the warmth flow through her hands then drip off, staining her hands and clothes. Her cheek is pressed against his head, "shh you'll be okay, you'll be okay"
His face is pale and his breathing is getting weaker, his eyes glossy.
"Don't die....please don't die" she chokes out as she feels him starting to go limp in her arms.
She pulls him to her tighter and buried her face into his hair
"Please don't die...." She whispers
His body finally goes limp, eyes still a little open but with no light.
They sit there. He is dead, slain by his own hand.
Public Diary Dec 2014
"hehe hi"
Who are you?
"Just someone, you have a lot of energy and that's what attracted me"
Is that so?
"Yup, in fact I'm watching you right now"
But I can't see you
A voice that popped into my head, it sounds like a little girl which is a very bad sign
Public Diary Nov 2014
"911 what's your emergency?"

The shadows are killing my light and I can feel my soul fading away
Public Diary Dec 2014
You still haven't shown any change....your words still don't match your actions.....the only difference is I've changed. I won't hesitate to pull back my final chance I gave to you. If you keep taking me for granted, I'll find someone who won't.
Public Diary Jan 2015
Slicing open your wrists and forcing yourself to smile
Public Diary Jan 2015
When she holds his hand back and you die inside
Public Diary Dec 2014
"Put down the pills M, you've already taken six times the recommended, if you take twelve times the amount you're gonna die. You hear me? You're gonna die if you take that many!"

stares at pills through teary eyes

"Put em down M, you don't have to die"

If she picks him over me I do.....

"You're lucky you survived without any consequences last time when you took seventeen pills but these are pain killers. They will **** you if you take twelve. Don't do it M....don't do it"

*tears fall on pills
Public Diary Dec 2014
**** I think it is a demon, I'm getting nauseous and my head is starting to spin. I started hearing the voice while I was gathering energy for a little to stay awake.
Is my soul under siege or am I just crazy
Public Diary Dec 2014
Punch the wall until you make it bleed with your blood
Public Diary Jan 2015
Umm should I just go to bed then........?
Public Diary Dec 2014
Does anyone else get angry enough to the point that it blows your sickness away
Public Diary Dec 2014
**** my stupid stomach......I get so ******* prone to getting angry when I'm hungry......
And I snapped......I'm so sorry for being upset and making you upset.....
Public Diary Dec 2014
Sext: I heard you think veins are hot, let me show you mine
*slashes with razor
Public Diary Oct 2015
i was about to write something, but these thoughts should be written in a journal, not made public to make me seem desperate for attention when really i just want to get these feelings out
Public Diary Dec 2014
"You really shouldn't mope around you know"
.....
"Hey you could at least say something ya know"
......
tilts head up and sees glossy eyes
"sighs you just had to die huh? I guess I forgot how fragile you get, maybe you'll be more talkative tomorrow"
"Or maybe not...you look pretty bad...I guess we'll see how you're doing in a couple of days"
Public Diary Jan 2015
Why is it that when I want to die, I feel **immortal
Public Diary Dec 2014
sighs
Yeah idk that's it
Public Diary Dec 2014
Well it's been an hour and a half and still nothing.....I'm gonna take a nap....
Public Diary Dec 2014
Thinking about you going to a party with a guy when you're all dressed up ***** :/
Public Diary Dec 2014
Why are you sad.....why do such large tear drops fall from your eyes...?
nibbles on bread
"I dont know..."
*tears drip off chin
From when I come home from school....I still don't know why I'm sad or crying....
Public Diary Dec 2014
Shivering at the thought of you making even more guy friends, talking to them, and getting to know them better
Ugh
Public Diary Dec 2014
The memories that hurt the most are the hardest to get rid of......
They always seem to resurface no matter how deep you bury them....
Public Diary Jan 2015
"Don't ever let her go to bed crying and upset"
*what about him?
Public Diary Dec 2014
"Oh M, you look like a wild beast"
walks over toward body
heavy fast breathing, blood flowing from cut across torso
"Your eyes are nice and glossy too, like little pearls"
Public Diary Dec 2014
I need to drop all my energy NOW the voice is back and I feel my energy flipping out inside
I hate this I hate this I hate this
Public Diary Jan 2015
I'm envious of you two.

You both look so happy, truly in love.
You had to wait until he broke up with her and he finally did. Now you two are together, looking happier than ever.
You're being silly and goofy together, you laying on her lap.
You guys truly look happy.
You love her
And she loves you
I'm truly envious of you two
Just kinda jealous of these two enjoying each other even though I don't really know them
Public Diary Dec 2014
"911 what's your emergency?"

She didn't treat me like a soulmate

"Sir I am an operator for this emergency line, not a counselor or physiatrist. Do you have an emergency or not?"

Yes, she treats him more like a soulmate than she did with me.
Public Diary Nov 2014
His name means "dweller by the sea" and he loved the sea at first sight.
Coincidence?
Public Diary Dec 2014
"You forgot what is was like to have your mood shattered by a few measly words didn't you?
I'm sorry, I forgot you don't speak for a while after that happens"
*sighs*
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