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Public Diary Oct 2015
I wish i was exaggerating on how its always one good thing then a string of bad.

My luck is always the worst, i always complain about how i'm cursed. But i'm not lying, it ***** how hard im always trying. Good fortune just doesnt come my way that much, when it does its always just a touch.

It never hangs around, it always feels like I'm hell bound. Why can't I just be free? Why can't I just say "I'm glad to be me"?

I hate my luck, and its not just my attitude. I always try to have gratitude!

The universe just hates me, what rotten luck! I wish the majority of things that happened to me didnt ****. I wish it didnt feel like im being tested, i just want to feel rested! I want to have a break from this, i want to have a turn in being surrounded by bliss. I want things to work in my favor, not always tasting a bitter flavor.

Somday ill get my turn, someday ill be free but until then....its just bad luck and me.
If only i was exaggerating on how often unlucky i always am.....
Public Diary Nov 2014
You've glanced and looked my way for a while now
With you're eyes bright blue like the sea.
I wonder what you think when you look at me.

Now I realize you're as pretty as can be, but that's not all, there's more about you that eyes cannot see.

You've got brains to match your beauty, truly something rare.
You're shy but you're so sweet, someone everyone should meet.

Just thinking about how your eyes dart away when our gazes meet makes me smile.
I hope we can get together in a while

I want to talk to you, make you laugh and smile
eventually talking to you about being together for a while.

I'm not smarter than you, not more attractive or sweet, in every category,
you truly have me beat.
But if we do get together I have a feeling it'll last
and one things for sure,
I'm falling for you fast.
I wonder if your glances don't mean anything and I'm just reading more than there is. Well even if that's the case, it wouldn't hurt to get to know you
Public Diary Jan 2015
Hot, dry, no water in sight
The sun let's down burning light
For survival you fight, pushing forward with all your might

Skin cracked lungs bathing in sand each breath feels like a meal of niddles impalling you inside tears dry you can't even cry

The journey seems infinite there's no water in sight the wind more celascent than the sun dreams of rivers unfold as our minds are enveloped hope is dead we are doubters in the land of vultures


The vultures circling with winds blowing
A storm of sand envelopes the land. It fills your lungs making you cough and hack all while the sun and sand beat on your back
It gets in your eyes and you can no longer see nor stand, eyes shut, at the mercy of the sand
Bold=Jamie
Italicized=Kai
Public Diary Jan 2015
I'm am the ocean, I can be
beautiful and **dark
Public Diary Jan 2015
I love you

You're the one that makes me feel whole, the one who sheds light on my tired soul.

Push your lips to mine. Hold me and tell me everything will be fine. Tell me our dreams will come true, tell me "I can't live without you"

Tell me I'm the core of your heart like you are for mine, say *I love you

And plant flowers in my mind.

My mind was destroyed by the pain of the past, shrouded in darkness, broken needing a cast. Say I love you and erase the dark. Say I love you and leave your love's mark.

Plant flowers in the wickedest parts of my soul, where darkness continues to take its toll. Say I love you and leave your love's mark.
*Claim my heart as yours and say it does not belong to the dark
I haven't had a rhyming poem in a while so
Public Diary Jan 2015
I'm the boy who always wore shorts and a t shirt
I'm the boy that never felt pain
I'm the boy who never got cold
I'm the boy that was brilliant
I'm the boy that always was the toughest
I'm the boy that was said to be indestructible

I'm now the boy that wears long sleeves
I'm the boy who laughs sometimes but not as much as I used to
I'm the boy that doesn't try anymore
I'm the boy that gave everything he had to one girl
I'm the boy that's had his heart broken beyond recognition
I'm the boy who gives himself bruises
I'm the boy that's had his world plunged into darkness

**im the boy that's still holding on
Public Diary Dec 2014
What are those? Are they buildings?
"No, they're the walls"
Walls? When did they get there? Who built them?
"Obviously you. You are the king of this place, but you built those walls nearly two months ago. Don't you remember?"
I guess I forgot.....
Public Diary Feb 2015
~the most over rated ******* in the world
Public Diary Jan 2015
Thank you for being here for me when I felt alone and sad.
Thank you for listening to me scream when I was mad.

You understand my pain because youve gone through it too.
Very quickly, I opened up to you.
I told you what hurt, what made me scream and shout and you in return, calmed them into pouts.
You've calmed me down and made me feel like I wasn't alone.
You always help my mood quiet down into a calmer tone.

Thank you moona, thank you for listening to me
You always help me set my pain free :)
For moona c:
Thank you for helping me calm down
Public Diary Dec 2014
That feeling of being light headed and the  heaviness in my stomach brought upon hearing someone say they had a baby with you or you want someone else like that. The emptiness I'm feeling is so nostalgic
Public Diary Dec 2014
What's your favorite part about the rain?
The way that people can't tell the difference between the droplets that fall from the sky onto my face and the ones that form from my eyes
*Sighs*
Public Diary Jan 2015
He runs into the woods alone, sad from what he's seen. He runs and runs through the greens, wondering for the future what it means.

Slowly he walks home, a cave hidden in the trees. He lets soft cries of sadness get lost in the breeze.

He lays down, head low, the sadness in his heart continues to grow. Large warm tears form and fall, sadness running deep.

Slowly, the bear cries himself to sleep
Public Diary Dec 2014
silence*






Need I say more?
Public Diary Dec 2014
"You finally know my real name....I've been waiting for you to be able to hear it for so long now.....
Public Diary Dec 2014
Will 3 times the recommended dose **** me?
Public Diary Feb 2015
Time the most precious thing in the world, the thing that constantly slips through our fingers

Nothing will stop it, nothing can stop it

It is the ink that spells out the words for our life stories and one day

**the ink will run dry
Public Diary Dec 2014
Are you scared?
"scared of you? Hah, not even close!"
Really? I am....
"What kind of ******* is scared of himself? That doesn't make any sense!"
swords clash
The kind that knows what they're capable of when they no longer have restraints....
Public Diary Dec 2014
That sad thing is you're still with him even though you know he's using you. Admit it, he's your soulmate not me
Public Diary Nov 2014
His name means "dweller by the sea" and he loved the sea at first sight.
Coincidence?
Public Diary Nov 2014
Sext: listen to our song and feel your heart crumble in your chest
Public Diary Dec 2014
Sext: throw me in the dirt like you did with my heart
Public Diary Jan 2015
"Careful chief, if you dig up the past all you'll get is *****"

I got ****** knuckles
Public Diary Jan 2015
Would you yell at me to hold your hand and touch your face while you held my limp body and brushed my pale face?
Public Diary Dec 2014
"You forgot what is was like to have your mood shattered by a few measly words didn't you?
I'm sorry, I forgot you don't speak for a while after that happens"
*sighs*
Public Diary Jan 2015
My mood is at absolute zero right now
Public Diary Dec 2014
furiously slashes
"Come on, come on, come on! You movements are so slow! It makes me sick that you're the 'king' of this place"
feels sharp pain in stomach
"You're not worthy to be 'king'. You're way too weak"
starts pulling out blade
"You're nothing.....
pulls out blade completely
....But trash"
blood sprays from wound
Public Diary Dec 2014
"You really shouldn't mope around you know"
.....
"Hey you could at least say something ya know"
......
tilts head up and sees glossy eyes
"sighs you just had to die huh? I guess I forgot how fragile you get, maybe you'll be more talkative tomorrow"
"Or maybe not...you look pretty bad...I guess we'll see how you're doing in a couple of days"
Public Diary Dec 2014
The memories that hurt the most are the hardest to get rid of......
They always seem to resurface no matter how deep you bury them....
Public Diary Dec 2014
"911 what's your emergency?"

She didn't treat me like a soulmate

"Sir I am an operator for this emergency line, not a counselor or physiatrist. Do you have an emergency or not?"

Yes, she treats him more like a soulmate than she did with me.
Public Diary Nov 2014
Sometimes I wonder what I should do. I'm laying here feeling empty, alone, and dead inside
Public Diary Jan 2015
Why is it that when I want to die, I feel **immortal
Public Diary Jan 2015
I don't like it whenever you say you have to leave.....mostly because I don't want you to go, but also because I'm sad you most likely text him while we're not talking....
Or maybe you talk to him while we're talking anyway.......
Public Diary Jan 2015
loads five in the cylinder and spins it before locking it back into place

*pulls trigger
Public Diary Nov 2014
His mask started to crumble and turn to dust as his heart began to fill the hole in his chest.
His gloomy eyes were revealed and stared off into the distance as the last bit of his mask crumbled away.
He falls to the floor, exhausted from his journey
Public Diary Nov 2014
"911 what's your emergency?"

The shadows are killing my light and I can feel my soul fading away
Public Diary Dec 2014
"It's been a while since you've given off this much negative energy. This ominous aura that gives you chills............it reminds me of a demon's aura......it's dark and cold"
Public Diary Dec 2014
You're essay was really sweet.....and I'm not rejecting it but...it's just not going to be that simple to get me back....it's going to take anywhere from 6 months to a year to prove you've really changed and years to have me trust you as much as I did when we first started.....I want to say those words again but I can't....not when I feel like you won't treat me the same way I treated you....I told you I had standards this time and that I hoped you took my words to heart....and I still hope you did....because if you can't give me loyalty, consistency, and thinking about my feelings before you do something, I can't accept you....I won't take you back....I know what my heart deserves this time and I won't let it get anything less than what it deserves
I'm sorry....I hope you keep the deal and show me you're really going to start a change....
Public Diary Nov 2014
"Sir you've called this line 3 times today, do you actually have an emergency?"

Yes. I don't want her to have anymore nightmares. I need to kiss her now and make her forget about the blood.

"Sir please stop calling this line"
Public Diary Jan 2015
"Wow it upset you that much? Gotta love social media eh m?"
Public Diary Jan 2015
If you're into my poems, follow me on Twitter for similar tweets
Username: @SuishoKaigan
Public Diary Nov 2014
I wonder if ya still think its a good idea to be with him. Either way you're stuck with him wether ya like it or not for now.

I wonder if you wish it was me instead of him.

I wonder if ya wish I wanted to still date you instead of another girl.

I wonder if ya regret lettin me go
Public Diary Dec 2014
You still haven't shown any change....your words still don't match your actions.....the only difference is I've changed. I won't hesitate to pull back my final chance I gave to you. If you keep taking me for granted, I'll find someone who won't.
Public Diary Nov 2014
"All I can feel is sadness flowing from his blade"
Public Diary Dec 2014
I wonder how long you stay awake at night wishing you could take everything back you've ever done to hurt me. I wonder how long you stayed awake thinking about how you shattered every last bit of trust I had in you to take care of my heart...I wonder if you're really going to change this time like you say you are....or if it's going to be exactly the same as all the other times you said you'd change.....
Public Diary Dec 2014
"hehe hi"
Who are you?
"Just someone, you have a lot of energy and that's what attracted me"
Is that so?
"Yup, in fact I'm watching you right now"
But I can't see you
A voice that popped into my head, it sounds like a little girl which is a very bad sign
Public Diary Dec 2014
sighs
Yeah idk that's it
Public Diary Oct 2015
How quick i am to leave permenant reminders on my body for moments of psychological pain

But then again, those moments are excruciating and overwhelming, swalloing all other thoughts
This ones gonna leave a mark
Public Diary Dec 2014
How do you fix something that has so many large holes in it? How do you fix something's that's that broken? How do you fill the holes and cracks when nothing will stick? How can you heal my heart with love when it just seeps through the cracks and holes....I am broken. I don't think I can ever be fixed....
You can try to fix me but you have to earn your chance to try first.....
Public Diary Jan 2015
If you get sick at the thought of someone else touching me
**why are you touching someone else
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